


If It's Meant To Be

by GemAuthor



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: AU, Angst, Best Friends, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-10-24 15:26:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 78,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17706824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GemAuthor/pseuds/GemAuthor
Summary: Slightly AU. Set in real time, where the show it at now. Charity and Vanessa are best friends though. Vanessa decides it is time to find herself the woman of her dreams at the same time Charity realises she has fallen for her best friend. It won't be an easy ride though that's for sure.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an idea that has been in my head for a while now.  
> It is set where the show is at now.  
> Bails happened, Ryan happened, but Vanity haven't.....Yet :)
> 
> All mistakes are my own.

“You know what. I don’t ask for much, ever. I’m not needy or spoilt. I don’t need a constant stream of new clothes and jewellery,” Vanessa Woodfield says she sits herself down at the bar in the Woolpack. “I don’t need to earn any more money that what I already do. Hell, I don’t even play the lottery. I am happy with how my life is.”

Charity Dingle, pub landlady and queen of snark, raises her eyebrow and smirks as she looks at the smaller blonde. “Hi, Vanessa.”

Vanessa sighs. “Hi. Can I have a pint. Oh and a packet of crisps….Oh, and some pork scratchings. Actually, make that two packets of pork scratchings. Actually, I’ll have a sandwich, too.”

Charity laughs. “Remember when you just said you don’t ask for much?”

Vanessa narrows her eyes at the barmaid. “Hilarious.”

Charity laughs again as she grabs a glass for Vanessa’s pint. “What was with that little speech anyways. Were you half way through a conversation with your invisible friend again?”

Vanessa glares at Charity as she pours Vanessa her pint. “Why am I friends with you again?”

Charity shrugs. “No idea, babe. I think the villagers ask themselves that every time we hang out.”

It is a question Charity has asked herself many a times. Why is Vanessa friends with her? How are they friends? They are like chalk and cheese and have literally nothing in common, yet somehow they have struck up quite the friendship. It is the most meaningful friendship Charity has had outside of her family, and by family she means Chas, the rest of them just tolerate her half the time.

Before Charity went to prison, she and Vanessa had barely said to words to each other. In fact, the only real conversation she could remember having with Vanessa before she was banged up was who was first in the queue to be served in the pub. After leaving prison Charity’s focus had been getting Cain back from Moira and rebuilding her life. She didn’t want to form friendships or anything like that. She just wanted the man she always believed to her hers back with her and to start a new life. She was determined to keep a small circle of people around her. Only those she really trusted, which was Cain, Chas, Debbie, Noah and Zak and Lisa. She was also determined to have plenty of fun and to live life to the full.

But upon leaving prison her plans were put on hold seeing as Cain was loved up. Chas was constantly annoyed with her,and seemed to have changed a fair bit since she had been away. Debbie had done a runner to France, which she had encouraged in some way, Noah didn’t really want to know her, and Zac and Lisa weren’t together and had their own problems to deal with.

Oh, and she also had a nine-month old baby to co-parent.

She wasn’t exactly thrilled about being expected to look after Moses as much as Ross expected her to. She thought she would be a every-other-weekend mum, and that suited her fine. Yeah, he’s her son, but she wasn’t emotionally attached to him at the time. She didn’t think she would ever be emotionally attached to him either.

Thankfully that changed quickly, and her chubby little baby boy quickly made his way into her heart. Which meant instead of just plonking him on the floor to amuse himself whenever she had him, she wanted to try with him, really try, whenever she had him. So, she started taking him to a baby group in Hotten. And that is how she became friends with the formidable Vanessa Woodfield.

The first time she went to the baby group she pulled up in the carpark, got Moses out of the car, and then quickly ran back to the car and drove back home. She wasn’t the baby and mother group kind of mum. She wouldn’t have anything in common with those women. They would all look down at her, like everyone does when they saw how unnatural a mother she is. She loves her children, but she has no idea how to parent them.

She left it a few weeks before deciding she was stronger than a few snobby women giving her the evil eye. So she sucked it up and went back. The second time she made in it. She was instantly overwhelmed by the smell and the noise of the small room, but she forced herself to find a spot on the play mat with Moses. She forced herself to do it for him. He loved it. He loved interacting with the other children and all the attention the other mums gave him.

She had only been there for ten minutes with a familiar face sat down next to her. Even though she barely knew the woman Charity couldn’t have been happier to see Vanessa. Vanessa however, hadn’t noticed Charity before she sat down, and looked rather horrified when she realised who she was sat next to. Ever the politest woman in the world though, she sat there and made small talk with her new landlady. Nothing major, just about the weather and their babies development.

Johnny, Vanessa’s little boy, is three months younger than Moses. Vanessa seemed to enjoy hearing about the milestones Moses was hitting knowing that her little boy would be hitting those very milestones soon.

Charity went to the baby groups every week after that. Every week Vanessa would sit down next to her, and every week their conversations would steer away from the boys and onto other topics, like work, life, love. Charity spoke endlessly about Cain when she managed to get him back, and Vanessa just nodded along and listened. Really listened. Charity didn’t think anyone had every listened to her like Vanessa before. Vanessa, in turn, would often tell Charity about her own love life, or lack thereof.

Vanessa surprised Charity. Her humour, her intelligence, her feisty character, her happy-go-lucky sunshine outlook on life. They didn’t interact much when they were back at the village. They didn’t chat over the bar more than for Vanessa to order her drink. They smiled at each politely when they passed in the street, but it never went any further than that.

Until Cain decided that he would rather be with Moira and he deserted Charity on a country road. Charity was a wreck, and spent the first few days after they broke up a drunken mess. One night she found herself making her way to the park. She was going to sit on the swing and down a bottle of vodka. She had hoped it would knock her out for a few days, at least, and then she would start building herself back up again. On the way to the park though she bumped into Vanessa. Vanessa quickly worked out her plan and took her back to her place instead. She provided and ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on, and alas a weird friendship was born.

Vanessa has been there through so much since. Charity told her about Bails, the first person she had ever trusted enough to do that. She was there when she found out that Ryan had in fact survived his birth and he was alive and well and living less than ten miles away. She had also forgiven Charity for some pretty unforgivable behaviour. Including sleeping with Frank and then helping Megan when she tried to get him sent down for fraud.

Vanessa was the friend that Charity didn’t realise she needed or wanted. She can't imagine not having the blonde vet in her life now. Her friendship with Vanessa is the most genuine relationship she has ever had and she wasn’t going to do anything to ruin that.

“Can’t blame them. You are a nightmare. And I have more of a moral compass than your entire family put together.”

Charity would have argued with her if it wasn’t so true. Vanessa wasn’t the Dingles biggest fan. She felt like they let Charity down a lot during the Bails trial, and before that. She often made little digs that Charity let slide. Anyone else would have had a slap by now.

“True. So, what sandwich do you want?”

“BLT, please. With extra—”

“Mayonnaise and a dollop of salad cream. Yes, I know.”

Vanessa grins. “You know me too well.”

Charity passes Vanessa her pint and then shouts her food order through to the kitchen. Once she hears Marlon reply she grabs a packet of crisps and two packets of pork scratchings. She all but throws them at Vanessa, who just tuts, before leaning against the bar so she is eye level with Vanessa.

“What’s with all the food anyways? You’re not pregnant, are you?”

Vanessa scoffs. “I am off men, remember?”

Charity nods slowly. She briefly remembers a drunken conversation they had a few months back. It was not long after the Bails trial was over. Charity very loudly declared that she was off men forever, that she hated them, and Vanessa very loudly declared that she was going to pursue her real sexual feelings. Feelings for women.

“You were being serious then, babe?”

Vanessa nods vigorously. “Yep. I have hid who I am my entire life. I hid it to please my mum, and then I worried about what everyone else would think of me. I like women, no I love women, and I seriously want to pursue that.”

Charity reaches out and gives Vanessa’s arm a quick squeeze. “Good for you, babe. But seriously, the food?”

“Oh! I’m off out tonight with Tracey, Rhona and Leyla. We are eating, but not until late. I am hoping they will agree to go to that new gay bar in Hotten. I……Remember the little babble I was having as I walk into the pub?”

“I do.”

“Well, what I was about to say before you were your usual charming self, was that I don’t want for much in life, I’m not materialistic and—”

“Babe, get to the point,” Charity says, interrupting what she knows will be another two minute speech. 

Vanessa sighs dramatically. “I want a relationship. I want to meet the love of my life. I want to find my soul mate, the one I haven’t been able to find because of my insecurities and homophobic mother. I don’t think that is too much to ask….Is it?”

Charity shakes her head. “Course not. I may have a rather negative outlook when it comes to love, Ness, but that doesn’t mean I don’t believe other people can find it. Look at Paddy and Chas, and Zac and Lisa. That’s true love that.”

Vanessa nods in agreement. “And that’s what I want, Charity.”

“Then go find it.”

“I will. Hopefully with the help of Tracey, Rhona and Leyla,” Vanessa says with a small giggle. “You know how rubbish I am at flirting. I am going to need all the help I can get. Hopefully, by the end of tonight, I will have snogged the face off at least one hot woman.”

Charity gives her a tight smile as she fights off a wave of jealously that unexpectedly flows through her.  It must be jealously over the fact that she doesn’t get to join Vanessa on yet another girlie night out, she thinks as she hears Marlon shout through from the kitchen.

She has no other reason to be jealous about any of the plans Vanessa has tonight…..Does she? She laughs to herself as she walks through to the kitchen to get Vanessa’s food.

“Why are you laughing? Who have you just conned out of thousands of pounds?” Marlon asks as he hands over the plate with Vanessa’s sandwich on.

Charity gives him a fake smile and looks him up and down. “You, again, if you’re not careful.”

He pulls a face and shoves his hands into his chefs’ jacket. “Probably not the best idea to remind me of that. You know, in case I let it slip at a family do.”

Charity rolls her eyes. “Good luck finding a job if you do, Marlon. All the restaurants and pubs within a hundred-mile radius will know about your tendency to give people food poisoning.”

“That was one time! And it was the pie that was dodgy, not my cooking!”

Charity laughs as she walks back out to the bar and smiles when she sees Vanessa’s rolling her eyes.

“Reminding him about the time he nearly wiped out the whole village again, are we?” Vanessa asks as Charity places her sandwich down in front of her. Vanessa grabs it and immediately starts eating it like it’s been months instead of hours since she last ate.

“What are you going to wear tonight?”

Vanessa shrugs. “No idea. I am sure Tracey and Leyla will help me out.”

Charity winces. “Babe, Tracey’s fashion sense is awful. Leyla’s isn’t too bad, but I still wouldn’t trust her.”

Vanessa groans. “I will need some help. You know me, I’m at my happiest in a jumper. I haven’t done the trying-to-pull thing for a while. And all my outfits are kind of bland. The girls will help me. It will be fun, trying on different outfits.”

Another wave of jealously sweeps through Charity and again she pushes it back. “Well, how about you send me a picture of yourself in your outfits, and I will give you my honest opinion.”

Vanessa swallows slowly. “I am not sure if that will be a good thing or not.”

Charity laughs. “What you know about animals I know about fashion. I will be the best decision you make this evening, babe. Trust me.”

 

                                                     - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Vanessa, you look fine,” Tracey whines from Vanessa’s bedroom door. “I think you should just stick with that outfit and be done with it. We have some drinking to do.”

Vanessa sighs and reaches for her phone. “Tracey, I want to look good.”

“You always look good, V. Come on, we need to be at least half way to a drunken mess before this taxi arrives. I don’t want to spend too much money tonight.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes. Her sister, ever the cheapskate.

“I’ll be down in a minute.”

Tracey claps and spins on her heel as she runs out of Vanessa’s doorway and back down the stairs. She shouts something about shots and Vanessa laughs. She loves her sister, even if she is a partying, pain in the backside. Vanessa looks at herself in her full-length mirror and tilts her head to the side as she takes in her appearance.

She is wearing her go to dark navy dress. She last wore it to Ryan’s disastrous birthday party on New Years Eve. She received a few compliments from Moira, Chas, Debbie and Lydia. Even Charity said, ‘nice of you to make an effort’. Which in Charity language was a compliment.

Thinking of her new close friend makes her smile, and then her smile widens as she thinks back on their conversation in the pub. Charity wants a picture of her in her outfit.  She will give Vanessa an honest opinion, of that Vanessa knows to be true. However, Vanessa is so done with getting changed that she isn’t sure if she wants Charity’s honest opinion.

If Charity says, get changed, then she will have to change her earrings and necklace, which match her dress, and her shoes. Her hair, which Leyla curled for her, was probably the only thing she wouldn’t have to change. Even so, she holds out her phone and sends Charity two picture messages. One is a selfie and the other she takes using the mirror.

She looks at the photos before she sends them, happy with how they have turned out. She isn’t a bad looking woman, she thinks as she quickly sends the pictures to Charity. She shouldn’t have too hard a time finding a woman to kiss tonight, should she? She used to have men falling at her feet, but then again everyone says men are easier to get into bed than women.

She looks at herself in the mirror again and gives herself an encouraging smile. She can pull tonight, All she has to do is throw her best moves on the dance floor and try to flirt like a normal human being for once. She might not be Charity Dingle hot, but she wasn’t a bad catch if she did say do herself.

She grabs her clutch bag from her dresser and is about to leave her room when she suddenly stops short.

Whoa…..when did she start thinking that Charity Dingle was hot.

Yeah, she knows her friend is attractive. She sees enough men and women throw themselves at her over the bar to know that the majority of the general public want a bit of Charity, but she herself had never thought of her as hot……

She shakes off the thought and makes her way down the stairs, determined to enjoy her night out with some of her favourite people. She smiles as she reaches the bottom of the stairs when she sees Rhona has finally arrived.

“Hey, Rhona!”

“Hey, Ness!” Rhona shouts back just as enthusiastically

Tracey hands Vanessa a shot, and she downs it right away. She winces as it burns her throat and coughs a bit, much to Tracey’s amusement.

“Is Johnny ok?” Vanessa asks Rhona as she passes the empty shot glass back to Tracey.

“He is fine.”

“And is Pete really ok with looking after both Leo and Johnny?”

“Yes, he is fine with it. Johnny is as good as gold. We hardly know he is there when we have him.”

Vanessa smiles at the praise for her little boy. Being a single mum is hard work, but it is so worth it. Especially when people say how well behaved her little boy is.

“Right, who wants to play a drinking game,” Leyla shouts from the sofa.

“What kind of drinking game?” Vanessa asks with a whine. She is all for getting drunk and having a good time, but getting Leyla and Tracey drunk……She will probably need a week to recover.

“I dunno. We will just make one up.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes and Rhona laughs. They make their way over to the sofa and start off by playing the old, classic drinking game, ‘Never Have I Ever’. They play for about half an hour which ends up with each of the women having at least seven shots each.

Once they’re done with that the conversation steers towards their plans for tonight. Rhona is happy to go with the flow. Leyla wants to avoid two particular bars because two of her exes often go to them, and Tracey just wants to find a bar that plays some decent music.

“What about you, V. What do you want to do?”

Vanessa runs her finger around the edge of her wine glass. “Could we…..Maybe……go to….a gay bar?”

All three women stare at her with wide eyes and mouths dropped open. Her sexuality is something that she hasn’t really addressed with any of them. They weren’t in the pub the night she announced that she is gay. Tracey just said the next day that she had heard how drunk Vanessa was, which more than likely meant that she thought anything Vanessa had said was said due to the drink nothing more. She did have that weird stage of thinking she was in love with Rhona, but both of them had put it down to her getting confused with loving Rhona and being in love with her. Vanessa had slept with a handful of men since then too.

“Or, not if you guys don’t fancy it.”

“I’m up for that,” Leyla says, being the first to break the silence. “I just wasn’t sure that was were your head was at. I thought the thing with Rhona was a blip.”

As much as Vanessa loves Leyla, she is a bit dim. Vanessa has tried a few times to bring up her new-found bravery in addressing her sexuality with Leyla, who just thought ‘girlfriend’ meant friends that are women, not someone Vanessa wants to fall in love with and have sex with. Lots of sex.

Vanessa was sure that Leyla could walk in on Vanessa having sex with a woman on the sofa and she would still be oblivious.

“That was a blip. I confused loving and caring for Rhona with being in love with her. I wasn’t attracted to her. No offence.”

Rhona smiles. “None taken. But…..You’ve finally accepted the fact that you like women then?”

Vanessa frowns at that. “Finally?”

“Yes, Vanessa, finally. I have been waiting since university for you to admit it. You obsessed over some of the women there. You would often go on about how attractive they were. In fact, you still do it now?”

“I do?” Vanessa asks, her voice going up in shock. She thought she had hidden her attraction to other women quite well.

Tracey laughs. “I have seen you check out many women, V.” Her words are slurred, and Vanessa has no doubt she will be leaving early with Tracey tonight. Hopefully she gets her snog first.

Vanessa blushes and the other women all laugh.

“Are you planning on pulling tonight then?” Leyla asks as she pours herself another shot. She offers one to Vanessa who shakes her head.

“I’m hoping for a snog, nothing more. Maybe I can get myself a few phones numbers. I’m sure with a bit of flirting I can bag myself a few potential dates.”

Rhona snorts and Tracey lets out a cackle.

“You! Flirt!” Tracey says with a laugh. “Oh, Vanessa, I love you but you can’t flirt.”

Vanessa wants to argue with them, but she knows it is pointless. They’re right and there is nothing she can do about it. She never had to flirt much with the men she bedded. Normally a low cut top and a saucy smile would get her what she wanted with them.

“Ok….So I might need one of you to listen when I am talking to a woman I like the look of. Maybe poke me if my flirting gets too bad. Or,” she looks down at her chest and then gestures to her body with a sweep of her hands. “I can just rely on this.”

Leyla scrunches up her nose and shakes her head. “You aren’t dressed slutty enough to rely just on that.”

Vanessa gasps, slightly offended. “Excuse me, this is a nice dress, and it reveals just enough. Well, the amount I am comfortable with.”

“It isn’t so much the dress, but how you hold yourself in it,” Tracey says with a serious expression on her face. “You look slightly…..I dunno…..Like you’re not sure how good you look in it. You fidget a lot when you are wearing it. It makes you look uncomfortable, and that hardly screams confidence. Women love confidence, V. You need to look confident and look like you feel sexy. You need to ooze sex.”

Rhona shakes her head at Tracey’s comment. “Who on earth actually oozes sex? Is that actually a real thing?”

“Charity does,” Vanessa says suddenly. “She always looks comfortable in her clothes, whatever she wears. She oozes sex, too, doesn’t she. I mean, she’s ridiculously attractive, and she knows it. She’s so confident. It is really attractive.”

A silence fills the room as all three women look at her like she has grown a second head. Vanessa thinks back through the shot fog that has taken over her brain and she herself is shocked at the words that have just come out of her mouth. When did she start thinking Charity oozed sex? When did she start thinking she was ridiculously attractive?

She shifts anxiously on her chair as her two friends and her sister continue to stare at her. They all have a mixture of shock and disgust on their faces. She knows they don’t like Charity all that much, not that many people do, but surely they don’t think she is as horrible to look at as she is to spent time with?

“Or, so I have heard people say,” Vanessa says in a rush, adding a little laugh onto the end. She lifts her glass to her mouth and downs her half-glass of one down in two seconds flat. She coughs as a bit of the wine goes down the wrong hole. Leyla gently slaps her back, still too shocked to put too much effort into it.

“Vanessa, have you got a crush on Charity?” Rhona asks slowly, as if she can’t believe the words are coming out of her mouth.

Vanessa laughs, loudly, and shakes her head far too fast. Way too fast considering the amount she’s had to drink. She places her hand on the arm of the sofa to steady herself. “Of course I don’t, Rhona. I can just appreciate the fact that she is attractive. I see enough people drool all over her when they come into the bar. I’m not blind, and neither are any of you.”

“Even so. I would never say she oozes sex,” Leyla says softly having broken out of her shocked trance. “I would only say that about people I have thought about having sex with."

Vanessa does laugh at that, a real laugh this time. “I have never, ever thought about having sex with Charity. I can promise you that.”

She is telling the truth. Charity has fast become one of her close friends and Vanessa loves the friendship they have built. She has never thought of Charity as anything more than just a friend. Yeah, she thinks she is attractive, but she has never thought anything more about it. It isn’t like she has ever been overcome with the desire to kiss her or touch her. She may have really enjoyed the few hugs they have shared, but everyone likes human contact…..Don’t they?

“Thank god,” Rhona says, knowing Vanessa well enough to know when she is telling the truth. “Because if you were thinking of going there I was going to have to give you a slap.”

Vanessa laughs softly. “Nope, not thinking of going there.”

Except now she kind of is. What if she enjoyed the tender hugs she has shared with Charity because she wanted more, but wasn’t aware of it at the time. At the time Charity was going through hell with the Bails trial and Vanessa was still denying her true self. Maybe both of those factors had Vanessa not really acknowledging how she was really feeling?

She snorts out a laugh. She is a lot more drunk than she thinks she is. Charity is one of her best friends and nothing more. She would never be anything more.

A beep outside signals the arrival of their taxi, and Tracey and Leyla whoop and cheer. Vanessa smiles at Rhona who shakes her head affectionately at the two younger women. Vanessa stands up and grabs her clutch bag. She opens it to check she has everything and frowns when she sees her phone is missing.

“I just need to grab my phone. I must have left it upstairs.”

She runs up the stairs as fast as she can in high heels. She runs into her bedroom and spots her phone on her bed where she left it after she sent Charity the picture messages. She quickly grabs it and taps the screen so it lights up. She smiles when she sees she has two messages from Charity.

She opens the message and can’t help but smile even wider as she reads her friends response.

The first message reads. “You look awesome, babe.” The second one reads. “Not awesome, beautiful. You are going to be a popular woman tonight. Have fun!”

Butterflies swarm her stomach and she places her right hand on her stomach to calm them. They are there because she is about to leave the house and go on the pull. They are not there because Charity called her beautiful. No way.

She throws her phone into her bag, determined to find a woman tonight to flirt with and hopefully kiss. One who can hopefully take her mind off Charity Dingle.

 


	2. Two

Vanessa groans as she opens her eyes. The bright sunlight streaming in through the gap in the curtains makes her eyes water and she swiftly grabs her pillow and shoves it on top of her head. The pain in her head, accompanied by the throbbing in the soles of her feet, swiftly reminds her of the disaster that was her night out. 

She not only managed to not get a snog, but she managed to alienate half the lesbian women in Hotten with her bad flirting. It was her own fault really. The ladies had gone to a few bars before they hit the gay bar, with Vanessa drinking like a fish in most of them to try and calm her nerves. It had worked, but it had also given her a false confidence. She winces as she remembers promising a red head the night of her life if she went home with her. Her comment was met with a laugh from the woman, who either laughed in good nature because Vanessa was so drunk, or she laughed because Vanessa has ‘new lesbian’ written all over her and she wouldn’t have a clue what she was doing in bed with another woman. 

Well, she would. She knows what she likes in bed, how she likes to be touched, and she has done enough research over the past few months to have some of the finer details of making love with a woman etched into her brain. Putting those details into practice is another thing all together though. 

She rolls onto her back with her pillow still covering her face. Last night was a disaster. It was only the second time she has gone out with the intention of meeting a woman. The first time was nearly five years ago, and was equally as disastrous. Although that time it was disastrous because Vanessa lost her bottle. She went home with a few numbers, but she never plucked up the courage to call them and she ended up going back to hiding who she really was. 

Good thing really, otherwise she may have not carried on ignoring how she really feels, she may have ended up with a woman and then she would have never met Kirin and have Johnny. He is the best thing that has ever happened to her. Having him in her life makes everything worth it. 

Her phone rings in her bag which is lying someone on the floor in her bedroom. She groans and ignores it. She has the day off today and she plans on staying in bed for as long as she can. Her dad has picked up Johnny and taken him out for the day, so she doesn’t have to worry about having him. Paddy is running the vets today and Tracey and Leyla probably won’t appear from their rooms until nearly tea time either. 

Her phone rings again and she growls as she throws her pillow in the general direction from where the noise is coming from. She whimpers and grabs her head as she sits up. The room spins for a few seconds before righting itself. She opens one eye and spots her bag on the floor near her wardrobe, next to her shoes and her clothes from last night. She practically falls out of bed and crawls across the floor to retrieve it as it rings again. 

Rhona:

“Rhona! What do you want? I am trying to die here.”

Rhona laughs. “Hello to you, too. Marlon has Leo and Pete is working, so how do you fancy a late lunch in the pub?”

“Late lunch? What time is it?”

“Nearly two.”

Vanessa groans and leans against her wardrobe. “Rhona, I seriously think this is it. I think I am done for.”

Rhona laughs again, and Vanessa has the sudden urge to punch her. How can she be so cheerful when she was drinking as much as the rest of them? 

“Get dressed and get over to the pub. Victoria is doing an all-day breakfast special. The grease will help soak up the alcohol.”

A wave of nausea rolls through Vanessa at the thought of food. “I am not so sure about that.”

“Get dressed, Ness. I will meet you there in half an hour.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Charity passes Jimmy his pint and holds back a sigh as he fumbles about in his pocket for some money. She hates it when they order a drink and then faff about with their money for five minutes. They know they have to pay. It isn’t a surprise. Why can’t they ever be ready?

“Sorry, Charity. Nicola only gave me change today.”

Charity shakes her head. “Does Nicola control everything you do, say, eat, spend and now how much money you can have?”

Jimmy goes bright red. “She just likes to have things in order.”

“Control….Jimmy, she likes to be in control. It isn’t healthy.”

“Like you would know what a healthy relationship looks like,” he says as he finally pulls £3.40 out of his pocket. 

Charity snatches the money from him and sends him a glare that has him shrinking on his stool. She doesn’t say anything in response to his comment though. Instead she slams the till draw shut, sends him another death glare, and walks to the opposite side of the bar. 

She thinks about Jimmy’s comment and realises that he is kind of right. Her marriage to Chris wasn’t healthy. It was built on lies and cheating, and he loved the control he had over her. Her near marriages to Tom King and Michael were also just lies and cheating. Cain, well, her and Cain were always toxic together. Their relationships always ended up volatile and quite often violent. Jai was probably her first genuine relationship, but again that turned sour with them both cheating. And Declan…..she shudders as she thinks of her last husband. She only wanted him for his money, and whilst she may have convinced herself she was in love with him, she wasn’t. She just isn’t the type of person who has healthy, loving relationships. She is too damaged for that. Her past still dictates her future. There really is nothing she can do to change that. She glares over at Jimmy again, who to his credit actually looks back at her with an apologetic look on his face. 

The door to the pub swings open and Rhona walks in, followed by a very rough looking Vanessa. Charity smirks as Vanessa groans and places her hand over her eyes. She looks like she has been dragged through a hedge backwards. Her eyes are bloodshot, her hair is shoved up into a half ponytail and her top and jeans are both creased. It is a far cry from the pristine Vanessa Charity is used to seeing.

“Good night then?” Charity asks, purposely raising her voice a little higher than what is needed. 

Vanessa shoots her a glare as she climbs onto a bar stool. “Awful. Too much drinking and—”

“Not enough snogging,” Rhona finishes for her. 

Charity’s heart skips a beat as she walks back behind the bar so she is stood opposite Vanessa and Rhona. “Oh?”

Vanessa drops her head onto her arms and lets out a fake sob. “I am a mess. A single, ugly, boring, mess.”

Charity frowns. “Did someone say that to you?”

Rhona laughs. “No one got a chance to say anything to her. I have never known her to talk so much. It is no wonder she didn’t pull. I don’t think she could have stopped talking long enough to kiss anyone.”

Charity smiles and gently pats Vanessa on the top of her head. “I am sure you will have some better luck next time, babe. Have you come in for some food?”

Rhona nods. “Two all day breakfasts please. Oh, and coffee. Lots of coffee.”

Charity gives Rhona a nod and walks back to the kitchen to give Victoria the food order. She then quickly makes both Rhona and Vanessa a coffee. When she walks back out to the bar they have moved from the bar to the table near the fireplace. Vanessa is squinting and nodding slowly in response to whatever Rhona is saying. 

Charity wishes she could hear more about her disastrous night out but a large group of ‘tour group walkers’ walk in and she has to go back to work. She doesn’t get much chance to speak to Vanessa before the other woman has eaten her food and left. She tries to fight back with the wave of disappointment that hits her as she sees Vanessa leave. The other woman doesn’t even wave goodbye which stings. 

When Chas walks out from the back room Charity jumps at the chance to take a break. The walking tour group only just left and another wave of late afternoon punters have started to come in. She is beat and she could do with a cuppa tea and a bite to eat. 

She walks out into the back room and smiles at Noah who is sat the kitchen table doing his homework. 

“Good day at school?”

“It was alright. When I have finished this can I go up to Wishing Well? Samson has a new game and he wants me to go round and play on it with him.”

Charity flicks the kettle on and grabs herself a mug. “Yeah course. Do you want some dinner first?”

Noah shakes his head. “Sam and Lydia are going to cook us something.”

Charity sighs. Another night eating on her own then. “Ok, babe. Don’t be late though. You have a footy game tomorrow morning.”

Noah rolls his eyes. “I know, Mum.”

Charity gives him a small smile before turning her attention back to the kettle. She stares at it as it boils, wondering what she can do with her own evening. She doesn’t really want to go back out to the pub. There isn’t anything on tv that she wants to watch. The thought of an early night sounds appealing though. She could have a bath with a glass one wine and then head off to bed. 

She hardly slept the night before. Her mind just wouldn’t switch off. She was thinking about Moses and the fact that she has to start applying for his school placement soon. Then she started thinking about Debbie, worrying again about how her daughter is coping without Joe. That then got her thinking about Noah, and how well he is coping now with the disappearance of his brother and the strange friendship he has struck up with Graham. The thought of strange friendships then got her thinking about Ryan and Dawn and how their blossoming romance seems to have come out of nowhere, and how she still doesn’t trust Dawn as far as she can throw her. 

The main occupier of her thoughts was Vanessa though. Vanessa hadn’t replied to the two messages she sent her last night which was strange. Vanessa normally responds right away. She was probably too drunk though, Charity had thought, having too much fun with her friends and her sister. A wave of jealously had gripped her again at the thought of the four women having a good time whilst she lay in bed, alone as usual. Then another wave of jealousy had shot through her as she thought about Vanessa meeting someone. 

Thinking about it, itsurely wasn’t the thought of Vanessa meeting someone and becoming attached to them romantically that bothered her, but the fact that it would mean she would get to spend even less time with Vanessa than she does now. That had to be it, right? She was jealous that she went out with her other friends, that they got to spend time with her, so surely it makes sense for her to be jealous of a girlfriend that Vanessa hasn’t even met yet. Right?

“I’m off, Mum,” Noah says as he shoves his homework into his school bag. “And the kettle boiled like five minutes ago.”

Charity shakes her head to clear her thoughts. “Thanks, babe. I was in dream land.”

“Everything ok?” her son asks with a frown. 

“Yeah everything is fine. Have fun with Samson.”

“I will…..Are you sure you’re ok?”

Charity gives him her biggest smile. “I am fine, babe. I always am.”

He gives her a small smile and grabs his jacket off the back of the chair. “I’ll see you later then yeah?”

“Yeah.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

“So last night wasn’t a great success for any of us,” Leyla says as she, Tracey and Vanessa walk into the pub.

“You can say that again,” Vanessa mutters, wondering how on earth she has managed to be dragged back out again. 

“We all aimed to pull, and we call came back empty handy, literally,” Tracey says laughing at her own comment. “We need a new plan of action.”

Leyla waves towards one of the booths near the window. “Go sit down. I will get us all a drink and then we can look at what happened last night and work out our new plans of action. Orange juice?”

Vanessa and Tracey both give a nod. Vanessa doesn’t think she will be able to drink again, not for a long time at least. They make their way to the booth and sit in silence as they wait for Leyla to come over with their drinks. Vanessa looks over at the bar, slightly disappointed when she sees Charity isn’t stood behind it. She didn’t really get a chance to speak to her friend earlier on. She was too hungover to hold a proper conversation anyway, and Charity was run off her feet. 

She knows Charity would have get a good laugh out of her disastrous night out. She would thrive off some of the stories Vanessa has to tell her. She loves nothing more than taking the piss. Vanessa certainly has enough stories for Charity to be able to do that for months to come. 

Leyla walks over carrying two orange juices and a tonic water for herself. She places the drinks on the table and sits down next to Tracey, opposite Vanessa. 

“So, plan of action. I think the main thing we need to work out is where we all went wrong. I will go first. I think I am still to unsure after what happened with Clive. I mean, what if I fall for the wrong person again?”

Tracey nods in agreement. “I think may it is too soon for me after David. I know he has moved on and I should do the same. But I have spent most of my adult life jumping from relationship to relationship. Maybe last night was my brains way of telling me to slow down, to hold back and take some me time.”

Leyla raises her glass. “I agree. I think that’s what we both need. No men. No relationships. We need to get to know ourselves again. Find out who we are again.”

Tracey nods vigorously. “Yes! Focus on number one instead of trying to find the one for a change.”

They clink their glasses together and Vanessa winces, her head still carrying a slight throb. She was so thankful that when her Dad and Johnny came back from their day out they were both so tired they walked into the house and went straight to bed. She put her little boy to bed, grateful for the fact that he didn’t want to have a bedtime story. Whatever he and her dad had done in the day was obviously very tiring as he went straight to sleep once she had him in his PJ’s.

“What about you, V? What’s your excuse?”

Vanessa sighs and takes a sip of her drink. “Nerves. I was so up for finding someone last night, but my nerves got the better of me. Even with the fake confidence the drink gave me. I was still so nervous.”

“What about?” Leyla asks.

“Several things. Am I ready to dive head first into this? And the sex side of it. Most of those women in that club have probably had several sexual partners. Partners who know what they’re doing. I…..Who, at my age, wants to take a person to bed who has no idea what they are doing?”

“Go for someone younger then,” Leyla says as if it the best possible solution. 

“Not again. No way. Kirin was hard work. The age gap was hard work. I am not doing that again. And I don’t like the thought of using someone for sex, just so I can learn what I am doing.”

“Then start dating someone then. Casually. Tell them that you are a……um, new to all this and just be honest. You are hot, Vanessa. I am sure that there are plenty of women who will happily take your lesbian virginity.”

Vanessa laughs at Leyla’s comment. “Thanks, I guess. Dating….That sounds like a good idea actually. Although, going back into that club and trying to find a date makes me feel all anxious. I bet most of those women would run a mile if they saw me coming again.”

“Try online dating then,” Tracey suggests. “It has worked for so many people. It is amazing really.”

Leyla points at Tracey. “That is a great idea. And, in your bio, you can say that you have never done….it with a woman before. You can explain that you’re only just accepting your sexuality. That saves the awkwardness of doing it face to face. At least that way they already know. If they will want to go on a date with you then I’d say you are onto a winner.”

Vanessa nods slowly as she lets their words sink in. “Online dating. I can do that.”

Tracey smiles. “Great! Let’s get you set up on a website.” She claps her hands in excitement. “This is going to be so much fun. Who knows Vanessa, we could be about to find you the love of your life. 

Vanessa laughs and takes a sip of her drink. “Slow down, Trace. I haven’t even signed up for a site yet.”

“Well, you better had, and fast. I want you all loved up and happy by the end of the month.”

“That’s three days away,” Leyla says. 

Tracey frowns and starts counting silently on her fingers. “Shit yeah! Where has this month gone? I mean one minute it is Christmas, and the next minute it is the end of January. Anyway, the end of next month then? How does that sound?”

Vanessa grins. “I can give it a go.” A thrill of excitement shoots up Vanessa’s spine as she thinks about what she is about to do. “You are right. I could end up meeting the love of my life by doing this.” She downs the rest of her drink and slams the glass back onto the table. “I’m going to go tell Charity.”

Tracey scowls. “Why?”

“Because she is my friend and because she is the first one I told about wanting to find a girlfriend.”

A flash of hurt crossed Tracey’s face. “Oh right.”

Vanessa doesn’t carry on the conversation or try to defend herself. Charity is her friend. Tracey, Rhona, Leyla and Frank all need to accept that. 

“I won’t be long.”

Vanessa walks to the bar and catches Chas’s attention. She points to the door behind the bar, silently asking if she can go on through. Chas gives her a nod and turns her attention back to the punter she is talking to. 

Vanessa walks through into the backroom. The room is practically dark. There’s only the small table lamp on and a sliver of light from the street lamp coming through the curtains. Deciding that Charity is probably upstairs enjoying some down time on her night off, Vanessa goes to walk out of the room when she sees a shadow sat at the kitchen table.

“Charity?”

The shadow jumps and Vanessa giggles. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you jump. Are you ok? Why are you sat in the dark?”

“I have a headache,” Charity replies. 

Vanessa frowns in concern. Charity’s voice sounds heavy and gravely, a lot like it does when she has been crying. She slowly makes her way over to Charity, concern filling her even more as she sees Charity’s shoulders move with a heavy sigh. 

“Are you sure that’s it?”

“Yes, that is it, Vanessa!” Charity snaps.

Vanessa doesn’t flinch at the harsh tone. She knows Charity. She knows her better than ninety percent of the village do. She knows that when Charity is upset her go to defence mechanism is to pull her walls up and snap and be snarky until you either give into what she wants or leave her alone. 

“Ok. Well, do you want some company or anything? I mean, I am here with Tracey and Leyla, but they have probably already forgotten about me.”

Charity sighs again. “No it’s fine. You go and have fun with your friends.”

Vanessa gingerly reaches forward and places her hand on Charity’s shoulder. Charity tenses but doesn’t throw her off, which Vanessa knows is a good sign. 

“I don’t want to leave you. Something has clearly upset you.”

Charity stands up so suddenly that Vanessa takes a few steps back to avoid their heads smacking together. The hand she had on Charity’s shoulder drops down to her side. 

“Nothing has upset, babe. I am fine. Just a headache. I was actually just about to go and have a nice relaxing bath and then go to bed.”

Vanessa can see Charity’s face now she is stood up. She is lying. She has a few tells when she is lying, but the main one is the way she chews on the inside of her bottom lip. Against Vanessa’s better judgement, and probably for the first time since they have been friends, she decides not to push Charity on it. She can see she is tired, just from the way she is standing. Vanessa’s isn’t feeling too great either. So tonight isn’t the best time to push Charity into telling her what is wrong. She will come back tomorrow and get to the bottom of it. Once they have both had a good night sleep she is sure Charity will be more forth coming. 

“Ok,” Vanessa replies, trying to be as cheery as she can. “Do you fancy getting a coffee tomorrow in the café? My treat?”

That brings a small smile to Charity’s lips and Vanessa thinks that whatever has upset her can’t be that bad. Not if she is smiling at the thought of sharing a simple coffee with her. 

“Sounds good. Lunch time?”

Vanessa nods. “I will give you a text.” She reaches out again and gently squeezes Charity’s arm. “Good night, Charity.”

Charity smiles softly. “Good night, babe.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

One minute ten, one minute one, one minute two, one minute three, one minute four, one minute five…..

Charity lifts her head out of the bath water with a gasp. She takes in a few lungful’s of air, her heart pounding in her chest as she does. She breathes slow until the ache in her chest eases before lying back down against the back of the tub. 

Holding her breath for long periods of time is a trick she taught herself during her time with Bails. She would hold her breath whilst he was………The ache in her chest, her body’s desperate cry for air, would distract her from everything else going on in the room. 

She can’t remember the last time she used this technique to take her mind off what was going on around her. Not with Cain on any of his temper outbursts. She didn’t even use it when Jai locked her away in that shipping container. 

Tonight though it seems appropriate and yet she can’t work out why. She can’t for the life of her work out why she even thought about doing it. She hasn’t done it since she ran out of that flat. She rubs her hands down her face and tries to work out exactly where her head is at. 

She normally loves spending some quality time with herself. She loves watching what she wants to watch with a glass of wine or a good celebrity gossip magazine. She loves doing things on her time. She loves having no one making demands or her. She loves just being by herself. But something has changed. It is like a switch has been flipped inside her brain and she can’t turn it off. 

Tonight isn't the first time she has felt the pangs of loneliness. It has been building for a few months. If she is being honest it has been building up since after Bails’s trial. The day of the verdict she went to bed alone. Vanessa offered to crash on the sofa and spend the night, but Charity sent her away. She had already missed Johnny’s birthday the day before because she was at the trial and then spent the evening watching Charity down Gin after Gin. Charity didn’t think it was fair to keep her away from Johnny for another night. 

She had regretted it though as she had lay in bed on her own with no one to tell her everything was alright. No one to hold her and comfort her. She had just brushed those feelings away though, blaming the emotional toll from the days before for how she felt. She had been through hell and back. It was only natural for her to want someone to be with her. 

The next time she felt those pangs was on fireworks night. She took Moses and Noah to the Hotten Firework display. They were surrounded by other families, most of whom had two parents. Parents who held each other close as they watched the fireworks with their children. She’s never longed for that kind of idyllic relationship, knowing that it is something she will never have. But she did that night.

The next time was Christmas as she watched Marlon and Jessie get married. Everyone was so happy, even Cain and Moira were smiling. Everyone had their little groups of friends too. Vanessa spent some time with her, but most of her time was spent with Tracey, Leyla, Rhona and Pete. Charity only really got a few precious minutes of Vanessa’s time. Charity did join in with the weird line dancing, but only for a bit. She had no idea what she was doing and so she spent a lot of the evening sat down watching everyone else. 

Everyone had someone. Everyone had a friend or a lover to laugh and dance with. She didn’t have that. Noah didn’t want to dance with her and who could blame him, what fourteen-year-old wants to dance with their mother. Chas wasn’t there, her and Paddy were in the Maldives, so she didn’t even have Chas there to have a laugh with.

Debbie has the kids and her own life. She very rarely relies on Charity and she can’t remember the last time they just spent time together hanging out and having a laugh. God, it must be years. Nowadays Debbie just comes to see her if she has a problem or she wants to have a go about something. 

As she thinks about it she realises how sad it is that the only friends she really has are Chas and Vanessa. Chas now has Paddy, too. They have had such a hard year, losing their little girl. Charity doesn’t blame either of them for wanting to spend as much time together as they can. She gets it, she really does. It does mean that she gets to spend less time with Chas though and their relationship has started to suffer because of it. It was staring to suffer before they found out that they were going to lose Grace. Charity closed herself off from those around, except for Vanessa, because of what she was going through. Vanessa was the only one she felt she could trust, so she fully immersed herself into that friendship and she and Vanessa became attached at the hip. 

That is going to change soon though she thinks as she runs her hand through her wet hair. She heard Vanessa tonight, talking to Leyla and Tracey about joining an online dating website. She was relieved earlier to hear that Vanessa hadn’t pulled last night. The relief she felt was a shock to her, but she is putting it down to the fact that the longer it takes for Vanessa to find a girlfriend the longer she will get to have her in her life. Let’s face it, no girlfriend of Vanessa’s is going to want Charity in their lives. No one in Vanessa’s life wants them to be friends as is it. 

And she knows that Vanessa will give her new beau her full attention. She will love on them with everything she has and make them feel like they are the most important person in the world, like she has done so many a times with Charity. She is incredible and whoever gets to call her their girlfriend is one hell of a lucky woman. 

Charity also knows that once Vanessa has found herself a partner, and they start to get her full attention, their friendship will fizzle out. Her friendships with Rhona and Leyla won’t be affected. They have been friends for longer and they have been through so much together, so Vanessa finding someone won’t affect them at all. They will probably all get on like a house on fire whilst Charity broods in the corner of the pub watching them and wondering yet again why she can’t keep anyone in her life for more than five minutes.

She ducks her head under the water again be remerges right away as an idea strikes her. She heard Vanessa tonight. She heard her talking about her nerves when it comes to being with another woman, and how bad she is at flirting. Vanessa will love any advice Charity can give her. Vanessa watches Charity flirt with the punters. She has commented a few times on how easy it all comes to Charity, the flirting and the banter. Charity can offer her a helping hand, but not in the way Vanessa is thinking…….

She shakes her head. She can’t do that. She couldn’t………She couldn’t……..She rubs her hands over her face and rubs at her eyes. Vanessa is her friend, the best friend she has ever had aside from Chas. She could absolutely not give her some bad flirting tips and dating advice to stop her getting a woman anytime soon. No she absolutely couldn’t do that. It is selfish. Very selfish and slightly vindictive too, doing that to make sure she gets to keep Vanessa in her life for a little while longer. 

No….she couldn’t do that…….Or could she?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the lovely comments :)


	3. Three

The next afternoon Charity walks over to the café with a spring in her step. A mischievous spring. She woke up to two texts from Vanessa, making sure she is ok. Then Vanessa sent her a funny meme text and then a text with one of her classic bad jokes, all in a bid to cheer her up. 

It reminded her why she is doing what she is doing. No one has ever cared for her in the way Vanessa has. She can’t lose that. She can’t lose her. She knows her plan is ridiculous and vindictive. If Vanessa ever works out what she is doing then she will lose her for sure.

She walks into the café and her heart does a weird flip in her chest as she spots Vanessa sitting on the sofa to the right-hand side of the door. Vanessa looks up and gives her a big smile which makes her heart do the weird flip again. 

Charity smiles back and walks over to her friend. Vanessa stands up and wraps one of her arms around Charity in a quick hug. That is another thing she would miss; how openly affectionate Vanessa is with the people she cares about. 

“How is your head?”

Charity raps her knuckles against her skull. “Still attached.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes. “I know that you dim bat. I meant how is your headache?”

Charity smirks. “It is fine now thanks. I had a bath and an early night. Sorted me right out.”

That was a tiny lie. She didn’t sleep any better last night than she had the night before. Last night though she was putting a plan together, to stop Vanessa pulling for the foreseeable future. She couldn’t deny she didn’t get a thrill from the idea of being a bit bad. It was who she was, after all, it was in her blood. She may have softened up over the past year and become more open and generally a nicer person. That didn’t mean she still wasn’t willing to be down right awful to get her own way. 

“Good.”

Brenda walks over and places two plates down in front of them. One is a BLT and the other is a chicken salad baguette. Charity smiles at Brenda in thanks and then at Vanessa. She always orders for Charity whenever they meet up in the café. She worked out fairly quickly what Charity’s go to food order in here was. 

“So, what happened on your night out then? You never got around to telling me about it?”

Vanessa shakes her head as she takes a bit out of her own baguette. She swallows her food and takes a sip of her coffee. “It was just a disaster. I got too drunk, so I had this fake confidence about me. I thought I was the hottest person in the club and that everyone was going to be falling over themselves to talk to me.”

“And they weren’t I take it?”

“Oh no, people wanted to talk to me, it just turns out that super drunk, super confident Vanessa does let anyone else get a word in edgeways.”

Charity tilts her head as she looks at her friend. “Same could be said for sober Vanessa.”

Vanessa scowls but carries on talking. “Anyway, I was a bit too full on. I promised some red head that she would take the best night of her life if she came home with me.”

Charity laughs so hard a bit of her baguette flies out of her mouth and flies across the table, landing on Vanessa’s shoulder. Vanessa grimaces and flicks it off. She watches Charity laugh with a frown on her face.

“Are you laughing because I said it or because of what I said?”

“Both,” Charity says wiping the tears away from her eyes. “I mean, how long had you been talking to her for?”

“Two minutes.”

Charity laughs again. “Oh, Ness. What would you have done if she’d have taken you up on your offer?”

Vanessa falters for a second. “I…….I have no idea. I probably would have had some kind of nervous breakdown.”

Charity smirks. “The poor woman would have probably been really disappointed too.”

Vanessa looks rather offended at that. “Excuse me, I am good in bed.”

Charity rolls her eyes. “With men, yes. Women are different. It is a whole different ball game when you take a woman to bed.”

Charity has told Vanessa about Zoe, and a few of her other conquests over the years. Vanessa wasn’t all that shocked to find out Charity is bisexual. She’d listened to Charity’s stories with the upmost enthusiasm, asking as many questions as she could think of. Charity had thought it was a bit odd, but then Vanessa told her about her feelings for women and it all made sense. 

Vanessa tuts. “I know that. But I am a fast learner. Anyway, I am not thinking about that part of the relationship, yet. I am going to start off slowly. Try the dating side of it first.”

“Oh, really? Since when?” Charity asks, even though she already knows why Vanessa is going down this route. 

“Last night. Tracey and Leyla made some great points for online dating. So I am going to give that a go.”

Charity nods slowly. “Good idea. Hey! I can help you set up a dating profile if you like?”

Vanessa raises her eyebrows. “Seriously? That would be great! I would ask Leyla and Tracey, but god knows what they will make me write in my bio.”

Charity giggles. “I can see it now, ‘forty-two year old desperate for some lady loving, even though I have no idea what I am doing. Willing to offer myself up to you in two minutes flat’.”

Vanessa laughs and throws her scrunched up napkin at Charity. “I am not desperate for lady loving.”

Charity smirks. “Oh, babe, I think you are.” Charity takes the last bite out of her food. “You need some help with your flirting skills, too. I can help you with that. You know I am an expert flirt.”

Vanessa smiles. “Yes! The women in the club didn’t respond too well to my flirting. Not like men do, anyways.”

“Men are easy, babe, that’s why. Just a flash of your chest or a suggestive comment and they are yours. Women need wooing a bit more. Haven’t you ever had a man flirt with you? You know, the compliments, the subtle touches, that kind of thing?”

Vanessa shakes her head. “Nope. I….to be honest I was always trying to bat away my real feelings, so anytime a good looking guy showed me some attention I just threw myself at him. I didn’t really make anyone work for it.” Vanessa scrunches up her nose in the way Charity loves. “I was a bit of a tramp.”

Charity laughs. “Aren’t we all, babe. So, how about you come around to mine for dinner, bring little man, and after we have eaten the boys can play and we can get you a hot date.”

Vanessa’s smile is wide and beautiful, and Charity’s heart skips a beat. She ignores her body’s reaction and smiles back. 

“Sounds good to me! I can’t wait.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

“Charity is going to help me set up my dating profile.”

Tracey drops the washing basket onto the kitchen table and stares at her sister in shock. “What! Why?”

“She offered. And she is better at this stuff than me.”

“Not me though! I know how to pull!”

“A woman?”

Tracey pulls a face. “No, but I doubt that even the formidable Charity Dingle knows how to pull a woman.”

“She’s bi-sexual, and she has had a few relationships with women, so yeah she does actually.”

Tracey’s mouth drops open. “She’s bi?”

Vanessa ushers Johnny over to the sofa and sits him on her lap so she can put his shoes on. “Yeah. Didn’t you know that?”

“No…..Blow me down with a feather. I thought she was obsessed with men. I didn’t know she likes the ladies too.”

Vanessa laughs as she places Johnny back onto the floor. “She loves sex. She’s very open about that. She doesn’t really care who it is with.” Vanessa winces as she takes in her own words. “I didn’t mean that how it came out.”

Tracey shrugs. “You won’t see me arguing.”

Vanessa grabs Johnny’s coat and her own before grabbing her handbag. “I will be late, so don’t wait up.”

Tracey nods. “Do you want me to save you some dinner?”

“No, we are eating with Charity.” She puts Johnny’s coat on and takes his little hand in hers. “See you later. See bye to Auntie Tracey, Johnny.”

Johnny waves and practically runs to the front door. He loves spending time with Charity and Moses, and he idolises Noah. Everything Noah does, Johnny has to do to. It’s adorable. He is never going to have siblings, so along with Leo, Vanessa is happy he has the boys in his life. And Charity. He think she is the funniest person in the world and Vanessa agrees. 

Once they get to the pub it is mayhem. Charity makes her famous meatballs and they sat sit around the small kitchen table making small talk whilst they eat. Noah tells them all about his football training, Moses makes up a story about a dinosaur, and Johnny too makes up a little story about going to football with Noah, which makes the teen smile. 

After dinner they clear everything away and the two younger boys go and play with Moses’s toys on the floor. Noah announces that he is off to Samson’s again and Charity and Vanessa pour themselves a glass of wine and sit at the kitchen table with Vanessa’s I-pad. 

“So, I have done a bit of research about the best dating sites and apps for lesbians, and quite a few came up,” Charity says as she turns the I-pad on.

“I did too! The most popular one seems to be one called Night love, or something like that. Apparently, the success rate is really high.”

“Yeah, if you want a one-night stand, babe. That site is like the all-inclusive lesbian tinder. You want a real relationship, right? Not just a bunk up.”

“A bunk up would be nice,” Vanessa grumbles. “But yes, I want to do this properly.”

“Ok. Then we need to download an app called, One true Love. It is just for lesbians and from the reviews I have read a lot of people have found their true love on there. It’s one of those you have to pay for though.”

“Oh, well that’s ok. I mean, it will be worth it if I find the one, right?”

“Yeah course,” Charity replies with a tight-lipped smile. 

“You are still ok to help me?”

“Yeah, course, babe.”

“Ok. Let’s do this.” Vanessa takes a deep breath and then sets about finding the app. She downloads it and agrees to the payment fee. They sit in silence as they wait for the app to download. Once it has Charity takes hold of the laptop and turns it away from Vanessa. 

“Ok. First of all you need a profile picture. You have pictures on this thing yeah?”

“Yeah loads. Can I not pick my own picture?”

“Nope.”

Vanessa stomps her foot. “Why not?”

“Because your favourite picture of yourself is awful, babe. You need someone who is not looking for the flaws in the photo, like you do, but looking at the whole picture.”

Vanessa shakes her head. “That makes no sense. And how is my favourite picture of me awful?”

“You are wearing a jumper my Granny would wear. Makes you look frumpy.”

Vanessa lets out a high pitch noise in shock. “Frumpy!”

Charity grins and spins around the I-Pad. “This one is perfect!”

Vanessa leans forward to look at the picture. She immediately shakes her head in disagreement. It was a picture taken last New Years Eve. She was hammered and you can clearly tell that by looking at the photo. She was wearing a low-cut red top, too which was showing off way more of her cleavage than she would normally show, but by the time the photo was taken the top had somehow fallen even more, so you can practically see her bra.

“I look a mess.”

“You don’t! You look beautiful and fun. That’s what you want. If I was on this dating site and I saw this I would think, ‘whoa she is hot, and she looks like she’s willing to have a bit of a laugh,’.”

Vanessa tries to fight back the blush that she can feel sweeping up her chest and face. That is twice in as many days that Charity has commented on her looks. She tries to ignore how happy it makes her, but she can’t. Putting it down to nothing more than just enjoying a rare compliment she decides to carry on arguing her case. 

“But I look……I mean do I want a photo that says I’m willing to have a bit of fun when I am not willing to jump right into bed with them?”

“Yes. Fun just doesn’t mean sex, Vanessa. It shows you are up for a laugh. It is a fun photo. It…….I dunno how to explain it, babe, but it’s a great photo. You can also put some other ones up. Just not the one in the frump jumper,” Charity adds quickly as she sees Vanessa’s eyes light up. 

They chose another four photos. One of Vanessa and Rhona, one of Vanessa at a festival a few years ago, a selfie Vanessa took to send to Kirin (she doesn’t tell Charity that) and then one of Vanessa that Rhona took of her at work. It’s an action shot of Vanessa treating a dog for an injury to its paw. 

“Ok, so now the photos are done we need to focus on your bio. What do you want to write?”

Vanessa chews on her bottom lip. “Um…..Fun loving vet, looking for that special someone?”

Charity stares at her for a good ten seconds before shaking her head. “I hope that isn’t how you introduce yourself in the club’s babe. Not very exciting, is it.”

“Why?”

Charity laughs and take control of the I-pad again. “Here, let me do it. 

Vanessa watches nervously as Charity types away at quite a fast pace on the I-Pad. She isn’t sure if the little smile on Charity’s face should make her nervous or not. It isn’t her normal smile. It is the smile she normally wears when she is up to something she shouldn’t be. But what could she doing that she shouldn’t be Vanessa thinks as she watches Charity silently read through what she has written. 

Charity gives a nod and then looks at Vanessa. “Are you ready to read it?”

Vanessa holds her hands out. “Yes.”

Charity passes her the I-Pad and Vanessa eagerly starts reading the bio Charity has written out for her.

“42-year-old from Emmerdale Village in Yorkshire. Single mother to an awesome little three-year-old boy. I am a vet, I specialise in farm yard animals. I am looking for what will be my first relationship with a woman. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with who I am so please go easy on me. My best friend describes me as fun, loving, kind, affectionate, the best listener in the world, intelligent, funny and one of the best people to be around.”

Vanessa reads through it a few times before pointing out a few things. “It is best to mention the fact that I have a kid right away. It might put people off.”

“Ladies like honesty. You don’t want to be five dates in before you mention it, babe. You might start to really like someone and she might run a mile when she finds out about Johnny. They need all the information outright.”

Vanessa quickly reads it again and decides Charity is right. She also reads the last bit again, about how her best friend would describe her. “The last bit…..It’s nice, Charity.”

Charity scoffs as her cheeks pinken. Vanessa doesn’t think she has ever seen Charity blush before. 

“Well, I was thinking about how Rhona would probably describe you, and that is what I came up with.”

Vanessa tilts her head. “So, that isn’t how you would describe me then?”

Charity looks up at the ceiling and pretends to look deep in thought. “I would describe you as……Loud. Bossy. Spoilt. Nosey. Infuriatingly right a lot of the time. Too kind for your own good. And oh, did I mention bossy.”

Vanessa goes to playfully slap Charity’s leg. Charity laughs and catches her hand mid-swing. Vanessa gasps as a tingle shoots up her arm and down into her spine. Charity looks down at their hands with a small frown on her face. 

“That was one hell of a static shock,” Vanessa says with a laugh.

Charity drops Vanessa’s hand as if it is burning her. She stands up suddenly and the I-pad crashes onto the floor. Vanessa picks it up, glad the case protected it from any damage. She looks over at Charity who is looking at her hand again as if she has never seen it before. 

“Charity, I—”

“I think I need to start getting Moses ready for bed. I mean, he needs a bath and I promised him we could watch a film before he goes down for the night.”

Vanessa looks up at the clock. It is only half five. Moses’s bedtime routine doesn’t start for at least another hour. Vanessa stands up and slowly walks towards Charity who is looking everywhere but at here. Vanessa goes to reach for Charity’s hands, but Charity takes a step back.

“Ness, don’t……I…..I think you need to go.”

Worry hits Vanessa hard in the chest. Charity has the same crestfallen look on her face that she did last night. 

“Charity, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing I…..I think my headache is coming back. Sorry. It’s just come out of nowhere.”

Vanessa doesn’t believe her for one second. She was fine a minute ago. “Has something upset you? You were upset last night—”

“Headache.”

“And you seem upset now,” Vanessa continues, ignoring Charity completely. “I just want to help you. Ok?”

Charity rubs her forehead as she lets out a deep breath. “I will be fine. Go on. Go home. I bet by the time you get home you will have loads of messages.”

Charity smiles as she says that, but Vanessa can see right through it. It is her fake smile. The one she gives the punters and most of the people in the village. It is a smile that is very rarely directed at Vanessa. In fact, the last time she thinks it was sent her way was when she was just one of the pubs customers and not Charity’s friend. 

Vanessa reluctantly decides that going home probably is the right thing to do. Maybe they could plan a night out on the town, just the two of them. Maybe then Charity will tell her whatever is going on inside her head. And Vanessa doesn’t mean the headaches. She knows there is something wrong with Charity. Her sudden mood changes are a dead giveaway, but she also knows that pushing her, especially with the boys around, isn’t the best thing to do. 

“Ok……Sorry, Ness. I just need another early night.”

Vanessa gives her an understanding smile, even though she has no idea what the hell is wrong with her friend. “That’s fine. I’ll give you a call tomorrow, yeah?”

Charity nods and places her hands in her back pockets. She rocks back and fourth on her heels. “If anyone messages you, Ness, just……Just be yourself, yeah? Be you.”

“What if they flirt with me?”

Charity lets out a soft laugh. “Just be you, Ness. Nothing more, nothing less, yeah?”

Vanessa nods. “Nothing more, nothing less.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Have you set your profile up then?” Leyla asks as Vanessa sits down on the sofa next to her. 

After leaving the pub in a state of confusion and worry for her friend, Vanessa came home with Jonny and played with him until it was bedtime. He went out like a light, exhausted from his day at nursery and running around with Moses. 

She then got changed into her own PJ’s and came back downstairs to join the other two women. Tracey places a cup of tea in front of her and Vanessa smiles in thanks. 

“Yeah I did. Charity helped me.”

“Let us see then,” Tracey says, grabbing the I-Pad before Vanessa has a chance to stop her. She quickly finds the app and taps on it. Her eyes light up as she reads through Vanessa’s profile. “Nice picture, V. The bio is good. Kind of sweet, especially the bit at the end.”

Leyla holds her hand out for the tablet and Tracey hands it over. Leyla seems impressed with Vanessa’s dating profile too. 

“You do realise you have like ten messages already?” Leyla asks. 

Excitement courses up Vanessa’s spine. She holds her hand out for her I-Pad. Leyla hands it over and Vanessa shuts the case, her nerves getting the better of her. 

“I’ll look in a bit.”

Tracey stomps her foot. “Look now, Vanessa. I wanna hear what those women have had to say for themselves.”

Vanessa shakes her head. “No I want to look on my own. I don’t want you two breathing down my neck whilst I read them.”

“I bet you would read them if Charity was here.”

Vanessa frowns at her sisters’ comment. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Tracey sighs. “Well, you asked her to help you with that.”

“She offered.”

“And she is going to help you with all the….” Tracey waves her hand at Vanessa’s lap. “That side of things.”

Vanessa barks out a shocked laugh. “She isn’t helping me with the sex side of things, Tracey. She is going to help me with my flirting skills and all that.” Vanessa falters as she thinks about how they left things at the pub. “Well, she was going to. I think she’s changed her mind.”

Leyla takes a sip of her tea. “How’s that?”

Vanessa curls her legs underneath her body and reaches for her own drink. “Last night when I went to tell her about my online dating idea she was acting…..weird. She was upset but she said she just had a headache.”

“Maybe she did,” Leyla says.

“No, I know her. She was lying to me.”

“But why?” Tracey asks as she sits down on the coffee table in front of Vanessa. “She is normally really open and honest with you, isn’t she?”

“She is,” Vanessa agrees with a sharp nod. “I didn’t push her on it. Sometimes it is best to let her deal with things in her head in her own way and let her come to you. We met at the café today and she seemed fine, so I decided to leave it for the time being.” Vanessa takes a sip of her tea before continuing. “Tonight, we had a laugh and she seemed herself. We ate dinner, chatted with the boys and then we set up my profile. She was fine with it all, making jokes as usual. She picked the picture and wrote my bio for me.”

“Both of which are great,” Leyla comments as she looks over at the tablet. 

“Then what happened?” Tracey asks.

“She……Her mood just changed again really suddenly. Like we were messing about and then all of a sudden she just closed off and said her headache had come back. She practically threw me and Johnny out.”

“Messing about how?” Tracey asks, leaning forward with a curious look on her face.

“She was playfully insulting me as usual, and so I went to give her a playful slap on the leg. She grabbed my hand and we both got this weird static shock. I’ve never felt anything like it. It went right down into my spine. Very weird. Anyways after that she all but ran to the other side of the room to get away from me………She is odd sometimes. Before I left though I asked about her helping me with the flirting side and she told me to just be myself, nothing more nothing less. That is a complete turnaround from this morning.”

“Um, V, what do you mean by static shock?”

Vanessa looks at Tracey over the rim of her glass. “You know when you touch someone, and you get a shock. A bit like that, but it felt like it was more…..under the skin than on top of it. It must have been because had just been holding the I-pad. I sometimes get a shock because of that bloody case Dad insisted on buying for it.” Vanessa points at the I-pad and smiles. “Speaking of which…..” She stands up and grabs the I-Pad. “I might take this and my tea upstairs and see if one of the lovely ladies who have messaged me seems like they could be a prospect.”

She smiles at them both before bounding back up the stairs. Tracey waits until she hears Vanessa’s bedroom door shut before she starts talking. “Static shock! Is she kidding me?”

Leyla shakes her head slowly. “It is that I-Pad cover. I’m always getting static shocks off the damn thing. Don’t tell Vanessa that though. She will go mad if she finds out I have been using it again. Especially after I broke her last one.”

“She didn’t get the shock from the case, Leyla. She got it because she touched Charity.”

“Yeah, because of the case,” Leyla says slowly, as if she is talking to an idiot.

“No!” Tracey groans in frustration, trying to work out how to get her point across. “You know what you really like someone, like really like them, and they touch you or you touch them and you get that spark of electricity that runs through your body. It’s like…..it feels like electricity, but it is more excitement?”

Leyla nods. “Yeah. I have that with every guy I’ve been with.”

Tracey rolls her eyes, hardly surprised by that.

“Wait, you’re not trying to say you think that’s what happened between them are you?”

Tracey nods.

Leyla throws her head back and laughs. “No way. Charity and Vanessa? They are just mates. Just because Vanessa is finally accepting who she is and Charity is the only bi-sexual she knows, doesn’t mean they are going to fall head over heels for each other.”

“You know Charity is Bi?”

Leyla nods. “Doesn’t everyone?”

Tracey folds her arms over her chest. “I didn’t.”

“Either way, I don’t think they are going to hook up. They are mates. I don’t think Vanessa will ever make that mistake again, especially after Rhona.”

Tracey thinks about that. “Yeah. Yeah you’re right. But have you seen the way they look at each other?”

Leyla laughs as she turns on the tv. “No I haven’t. I think you need to get laid, Trace. You are clearly finding love in places where it isn’t. Scrap what we said yesterday. I think you need to find someone. Being without sex is clearly making you lose the plot.”

Tracey can’t argue with that. “Yeah you are right. I am sure I am making a mountain out of a mole hill.”

Leyla smiles, glad her friend has agreed with her. “Shall we carry on watching the Real Housewives?”

Tracey gets comfortable on the sofa and turns her attention to the tv. Leyla has to be right she thinks as the opening credits to their favourite programme fill the screen. She is just clearly seeing things that aren’t there. Charity and Vanessa will never happen. Not if she has anything to say about it anyways. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your comments :)


	4. Four

Charity pushes Moses on the swing, smiling at his little giggle and demands to go higher. She makes out like she is pushing him higher, but she never does. She is far too worried about him falling off and hitting his head. It happened with Noah once and she’s always felt guilty about it.

“Mummy?” Moses shouts over his shoulder.

“Yes, baba.”

“Are we gonna see Johnny and Ness today?”

Charity falters, missing the next push which earns her a whine in response. She pushes him again and she weighs up her answer. “I’m not sure, Moz. Vanessa is working today, and Johnny is at nursery.”

It has been five days since she last saw Vanessa. She has spoken to her via text and a brief phone call conversation. The few times Vanesa suggested they meet up Charity has thrown her off with one excuse or another. Vanessa hasn’t been in the pub whilst Charity has been working either. She knows Johnny has been ill. He caught that bug going around the nursery, so she has been looking after him. Charity wouldn’t wish ill on any child, but Johnny being ill has been a godsend. Charity has needed these few days away from her friend to get her head straight and work out her next move.

All her life Charity has heard other people talk about the ‘shock of love’ as her Granny called it. That electrifying reaction that travels through your body at the speed of light, warming you from the inside out, when you touch a person you have a connection with. Someone you like. Someone you are attracted to.

She always scoffs as she reads about it books or she hears a tv or film character talk about it. She convinced herself that it isn’t real. It doesn’t exist. She’s never felt it with any of the men or women she has been with. Yes, her body has reacted with desire to their touch, she can’t deny that, but what happened when Vanessa’s hand touched hers was something she has never felt before.

Not just the electrifying shock, but the heat that had spread through her veins, the way her heart had thrummed rapidly in her chest, the goose bumps that covered her whole body. Her body was trying to tell her something, and it had been for a while. It wasn’t the first time that it has happened from the mere simple touch of Vanessa’s hand to hers. The previous times she was too preoccupied with everything that was going on to pay attention to it.

After Vanessa left the night she set up the online dating account, she thought back on the few times Vanessa had instigated a touch or a hug between them and how she had reacted, how her body seemed to come alive with the small caress of a hand against hers, and how safe and dare she say loved she felt when Vanessa wrapped those tiny but strong arms around her.

She then got to thinking about the real reason she didn’t want Vanessa dating anyone. It isn’t because she is worried about losing her friendship. Vanessa wouldn’t let that happen. It is because she wants Vanessa for herself. She wants to be the one Vanessa gets excited about seeing, the one Vanessa wants to go on dates with and the one…..Everything, she wants everything.

She stops the swing as Moses declares he wants to go on the slide. She watches him climb up the little steps and squeal with glee as he goes down the slide. She walks to the small park bench as he goes down the slide again. He will go on it about a hundred times before he gets bored, so she gets herself settled on the bench and her thoughts drift back to what she was previously thinking about.

_Everything, she wants everything._

She can’t pinpoint the exact moment she started falling for Vanessa. She thinks it is an accumulation of moments. She has never addressed it before now because her mind was focused on two things, getting Bails sent down and building up a relationship with Ryan. The whole time Vanessa was there for her though. Vanessa was her rock and her comfort. Whenever Charity felt scared or alone Vanessa was the only one she wanted. She was the only one she wanted to open up to.

She thought that it was just about wanting comfort, a shoulder to cry on and the need to cling on to something, no someone, who helped ground her and keep her on track. Now she looks back she sees it was something different. Something her heart had registered but her head was ignoring. She was falling for Vanessa. She only wanted Vanessa around because just seeing Vanessa made her feel better. Vanessa makes her heart skip a beat. Vanessa makes her laugh. Makes her smile. Hearing Vanessa’s voice over the phone calms her like no one else’s voice had ever done before. Being around Vanessa……She can’t remember ever being happier than she is when she is near Vanessa.

But Vanessa deserves the world. Vanessa deserves someone honest and trust worthy. Vanessa deserves someone better than Charity. Which is why instead of trying to stop Vanessa getting a date she is going to help her. She is going to help her find the woman she deserves. Someone who isn’t a vindictive cow. Someone who will always put Vanessa first.

Now she has realised the full depth of her feelings for her friend watching her with someone else is going to be hard. She can do it though. One day she will find another mug that she can convince herself that she loves, and by then her feelings for Vanessa will probably be a thing of the past. After all she never stays in love for long. That is another reason why she isn't going to pursue Vanessa. She gets bored quickly. She finds another person or another adventure that is more interesting than whoever she is with and she leaves them.

Vanessa doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. She deserves to be treated like a queen. Charity was going to sabotage her dates to keep her by her side for god sake, who does that. She deserves someone who can give her their whole heart, and that’s just not Charity. Charity loves her children more than anything, but she hasn’t even given them her whole heart. She always holds a bit back. She always has. She's had to, to protect herself. From her Dad, from Bails, from Cain.

She takes a deep breath and looks up at the sky. It is overcast, cloudy and dull, which matches her mood right now. She knows it is going to be hard watching Vanessa fall madly in love with another woman, knowing that they could have had that, but she is going to do it for her. For once in her life she is going to put someone else first and forget her own feelings.

She just hopes it isn’t going to be as painful as she thinks it will be.

 

                                              - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Do I look ok?” Vanessa asks Tracey as she runs down the stairs in Tug Ghyll.

Tracey looks up from the magazine she is reading and gives Vanessa a smile and a nod. “You look great, V.”

Vanessa looks down at herself and frowns. “Is it first date nice though?”

Tracey tuts. “I thought it wasn’t a date? I thought it was just a ‘meet up’.”

Vanessa sighs. “I know, but I still want to look nice.”

Vanessa looks down at the black top and dark denim jeans and boots combo she is wearing. She has gone for smart casual, and she was feeling quite happy with her decision until she got downstairs.

“You always look nice.” Tracey says as she drops the magazine down on to the sofa so that she can give her sister her full attention. “Are you nervous?”

Vanessa nods. “Yes. She seems nice though, right?”

Tracey nods. “Melissa from Demdyke does sound nice. Also, it is ironic that the first lesbian you agree to meet from that site is from a place called Demdyke.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes and grabs her bag. “Grow up.”

Tracey laughs. “Do you want me to call you in an hour?”

Vanesa checks out her make-up once more in the small mirror. “What for?”

“To give you an out if you don’t like her. I could say Johnny has been sick again.”

“I will be fine. I am a big girl. Anyway, we have been getting on like a house on fire so far. I imagine that will carry on when we meet.”

“V, you have only been talking to her for five days. You can’t possibly know how well you are going to get on.”

Vanessa grumbles, “I think I can.”

“Well, do have fun then. I hope you get on as well with Melissa from Demdyke as you think you will.”

Vanessa smiles at her sister as she grabs her jacket from the bottom of the stairs. “Thanks. Call me if Johnny needs me. He should be down for the night, but you never know.”

Tracey nods and picks her magazine back up. “Yeah, yeah. Go have fun.”

Vanessa takes a deep, calming breath before she walks out of the house. The early evening air is chilling and even though her yellow jacket doesn’t go with her outfit she decides to wear it for the small walk to the pub.

She makes the small journey in less than a minute. The pub is unusually busy for a Wednesday night which doesn’t really help her nerves. The last thing she wants is half the village watching her on a date slash 'meet up'. She groans as she spots Pearl in the corner. Now she knows she will be watched. Pearl will probably film the whole thing or send messages to Rhona, keeping her up to date on what is going on.

She walks over to the bar and greets Matty with a smile. She orders a bottle of white wine, Melissa’s favourite, and two glasses. As Matty gets her drinks order she takes another sweeping look around the pub. She sighs in disappointment when she realises that Charity is yet again absent. They haven’t seen each other since the night Vanessa set up her dating profile. Johnny being ill and refusing to let her leave his side hasn’t helped. They have spoken via text and a few times on the phone, but the conversations have been short and sweet. Charity was being off with her, on that Vanessa was sure, but she doesn’t know why.

She hasn’t told Charity about her meeting Melissa tonight. She doesn’t know why she hasn’t told her, she just hasn’t. The thought of telling Charity she is meeting someone from the site leaves her feeling uneasy. Like she is doing something wrong. Which is ridiculous. Charity was brilliant in helping her set up her dating profile. Vanessa is sure she will be thrilled that she is meeting someone from the site so fast after joining. She will be her number one cheerleader. 

Matty passes Vanessa her bottle and her glasses and she hands him over the money. “No Charity tonight?”

Matty shakes his head. “She has been working the morning shifts this week. Something about……I can’t actually remember why she said she couldn’t work the evenings. Some crappy excuse.”

“Or she actually has a genuine reason,” Vanessa says with a bite to her voice. She hates the way the other villagers slag off Charity.

Matty flushes red and passes Vanessa back her change. “Of course, yeah.”

Vanessa grabs the bottle and the two glasses and heads to the table by the fire place. It is warm and it is out of Pearl’s eye line. Not that she doesn’t put it past Pearl to move so she can see what is going on. She sits down and places the glasses and the bottle on the table. She holds off pouring the wine until Melissa gets there. Speaking of which she checks her phone to make sure Melissa is still coming. She sees a message from Melissa and her heart drops, fearing she has been stood up.

**Taxi was running late. I will be with you soon. M**

**That is fine. I am sat by the fireplace. Walk in and its round the corner on your right hand side. I have the wine ready.**

**See, I Knew we would get on lol. Be with you soon. M**

Vanessa smiles and places her phone on to the table. She is quite excited about meeting Melissa. She was one of the first people to message Vanessa on the app. Vanessa sent a response to all the women who sent her a message on the app. Most of them replied, although not as regularly as Melissa. Most were busy with their own lives, she got that, but she wasn’t really that bothered. She didn’t seem to have a lot in common with most of them.

Vanessa takes another deep breath and decides that whilst she is waiting, she may as well send Charity a quick message.

**Hey! Hope you are ok? Haven’t heard back from you about arranging a play date with the boys. I am sat in the pub having a drink. Only a few glasses of wine this time I promise lol.**

She places her phone back in her bag, deciding it won’t be a good look if her date comes in and she’s got her phone out. She detests people who have to have their phone to hand, like they can’t live without it. The last thing she wants Melissa to think is that she is one of those people.

A few minutes after she has sat down the pub door swings open and Melissa walks in. She is even more beautiful in person than she is on her profile picture. She is tall too. Her brown hair is styled in a French plait that hangs halfway down her back. She too has gone for casual wear. She is wearing a flowing flowery top, skinny jeans and flats.

Melissa smiles as she spots Vanessa. Vanessa gives her a small wave in response and her biggest smile as she walks over to meet her.

“Hi, wow, Vanessa. It is nice to finally meet you.”

Vanessa smiles and holds out her hand. “It is nice to meet you too.” Vanessa turns and points at the table. “Shall we?”

“Yes, of course.”

They sit down and Vanessa opens the bottle of wine. She pours the wine, filling both of their glasses half way. She passes Melissa her glass and Melissa smiles in thanks. They both take a sip to calm their nerves and Vanessa fights back the fit of nervous laughter the bubbling up inside of her.

“You are far more beautiful in real life, Vanessa. Not that there is anything wrong with your profile picture.”

Vanessa has received quite a few compliments from the other women on the site about her profile picture. She makes a mental note to thank Charity for choosing it.

“Thank you. You are too,” Vanessa says, and she means it. But strangely she isn’t feeling any stirrings of attraction towards the other woman. She can see she is beautiful, even a blind person would tell you that she is a looker, but she isn’t getting Vanessa’s heart racing in the way she had hoped. Vanessa does like the little beauty spot she has by her mouth. It is a lot like the one Marilyn Monroe had.

“So, this is your local then?”

Vanessa nods as she has a quick look around the pub. “Yeah it is. I love it in here.”

Melissa nods. “It is very quaint. So, you are a vet then?”

For the next hour they talk about their jobs, their lives and their hobbies. Vanessa likes Melissa. She is funny and interesting to talk to, but she still isn’t feeling any kind of attraction towards her. Maybe she needs to get to know her first? No, that can’t be it. She has been attracted to women in the past that she hasn’t known at all. She was obsessed with a woman called Jill in university. Vanessa would practically drool whenever they spent time together.

“So, we seem to have a fair bit in common,” Melissa comments as she pours the last of the wine into her glass. She has had three glasses to Vanessa’s one.

“We do,” Vanessa agrees.

“Which is why I think you will be a great addition to our campaign team.”

Vanessa takes a slow gulp of her wine. “Campaign team?” she asks, confused by the very sudden and very strange change of topic.

“Yes. The flat earthers.”

Vanessa stares at her for a few seconds, sure she has heard her wrong. “Flat earthers?”

“Yes. I am a part of a revolutionary group. We believe the earth is flat and we are trying to spread that message and get the Government to tell us the truth. They think we are stupid, but we are not.”

Vanessa strongly disagrees.

“Um….Well…..You see—”

“You seemed very passionate about the things you believe in, Vanessa. I got that from our messages and I got that from you tonight.”

“Yes, things I believe in. I don’t believe—”

“And people like you, intelligent, attractive people, are exactly who we need. You will definitely grab people’s attention.”

Vanessa lets out a nervous laugh. “I….As flattered as I am, Melissa, I really don’t think I am the right person to join your…….group.”

Melissa frowns. “Why not?”

“Well, I don’t believe the earth is flat.”

Melissa looks at her in shock. “You don’t?”

“No I mean……I have been on a plane and seen the curvature of the earth out of the window.”

“That is just the way the light from the sun reflects off the earth’s surface.”

“Ok…..What about all the pictures taken from space? The live videos from the international space station?”

“All fake. It is all filmed in a studio.”

 Melissa’s hand shakes as she reaches for her wine. She downs the glass in a few gulps and slams the glass back down onto the table. It attracts Matty’s attention and he looks over at the pair with a look of worry. Vanessa gives him a reassuring smile, letting him know everything is ok.

Melissa starts going red as she grabs her plait and starts twisting it quite viciously in her hands. If she was anywhere else, in another pub, she might be a bit scared of Melissa’s sudden personality change. But she is in the Woolpack and not only is she surrounded by a lot of people she knows, but Charity is more than likely out the back. One shout to her and she would soon come and sort Melissa out.

Melissa stops twisting her hair in her hands as she takes a few deep breaths. Vanessa sits there awkwardly as she contemplates the best course of action to take next. She is about to suggest they call it a night when Melissa rubs her face with her hand and to Vanessa’s shock, smudging what Vanessa thought to be a beauty spot.

Vanessa stares in horror at the smudge as Melissa carries on talking. “I got you wrong. Very wrong. You will one day learn, Vanessa, that we have all been lied to. All of us. Then, and only then, will you wish you had joined me and my fellow flat earthers on our mission.”

She stands up so fast she sends the chair toppling over. Vanessa stands as well, her eyes still on the beauty spot. Is it food? Has she drawn it on? She can see Melissa’s lips moving but she can’t hear a word she is saying. Her mind has gone blank. She has had some bad dates in the past, but this is the worst by far.

“Also, I could have given you some banging orgasms, Vanessa, as well whilst we fought for the truth. Just think about that.”

Vanessa’s mouth drops open as Melissa storms out of the pub. She hears Pearl’s cackling laugh over her shoulder and she knows that the whole village will have heard about this within five minutes.

“God…..Did she really just say that?” Bernice asks.

Vanessa nods slowly. “Yep. I…..Did that really just happen?”

 

                                       - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Charity saunters into the living room carrying a poorly Moses in her arms. It seems like he has caught the stomach bug Johnny had. She prays it doesn’t affect him for as long as it did Vanessa’s little boy. She hates seeing him poorly, but she also isn’t good with sick. The sight and the smell make her want to be sick herself. Both of them throwing up really wouldn’t be a good thing.

She lays her sleeping three-year-old onto the sofa. He demanded that she bring him down here so he could watch a movie on the ‘big tv’. She should have known that he’d have fallen asleep before the reached the bottom of the stairs.

She grabs the sick bowl from underneath the sink and one of Moses’s sippy cups. She fills it with water before walking back towards the sofa. She places the bowl next to him on the sofa and the sippy cup on the coffee table. She is about to sit down and cuddle up next to him when she spots her phone on the kitchen table. She didn’t take it upstairs with her, she didn’t have time to. Moses simply shouted down that he felt poorly before throwing up down the stairs.

Her phone is flashing, signalling either a missed call or a text message. She picks her phone up and sees she has been quite popular this evening. She has a text from Debbie, two from Chas, one from Sarah, and one from Vanessa. She quickly scrolls through the messages from her family members. Thankfully nothing urgent from any of them she eagerly taps on the message from Vanessa.

**Hey! Hope you are ok? Haven’t heard back from you about arranging a play date with the boys. I am sat in the pub having a drink. Only a few glasses of wine this time I promise lol.**

She sighs as she looks at the time the message was sent. Over an hour ago. Vanessa has probably gone home by now. She is about to send a response when she hears what sounds like a chair being toppled over in the bar. She rolls her eyes, it is either a drunk or a fight, neither of which she has the patience for tonight.

She quickly checks Moses is ok and drapes the blanket over him. She thinks she hears someone say the word orgasms but laughs at herself. She is that tired she probably imagined it. After tucking the blanket around her little boy as snuggly as she can she walks out of the living room, closing the door behind her as she does. The last thing she wants is a fight or a drunk waking him up.

She is however met by silence and then the recognisable cackle that is Pearl’s laugh. Curious, she slowly walks out into the bar and comes face to face with a pub full of shocked and amused faces. She spots Vanessa standing next to the overturned chair and her heart beats a bit faster.

“Ness, are you ok?”

She rounds the bar and runs straight over to her friend who is still staring at the pub door in shock. Charity reaches out and grabs Vanessa’s hand. The spark is there again but she is too worried about her friend to worry about that right now. It does, however, seem to get Vanessa’s attention.

_Can she feel it too?_

Vanessa’s head turns slowly and when her eyes meet Charity’s she does the one thing Charity isn’t expecting her to do. She bursts out laughing. Everyone else in the pub then seems to follow suit and Charity doesn’t think she has been so confused in her entire life. If she asleep? Is this a weird dream she thinks as she looks at Vanessa and the pub regulars laughing their heads off.

“What the hell is going on?”

Vanessa wipes away the tears from her eyes. “Date, worst date ever.”

“Who’s date?”

“Mine.”

Charity’s stomach drops. She had no idea Vanessa was on a date. She didn’t know that Vanessa had met someone, presumably from that site. Why wouldn’t she tell her? She knows they haven’t spoken much over the past five days but she honestly thought Vanessa would tell her the second she landed herself a date.

_See, it is already starting. She’s found a woman and forgotten about you already._

“Oh…..I didn’t know you were on a date.”

Vanessa smiles softly. “I did try and ring you to tell you. You didn’t answer so I presumed you were busy and I didn’t want to bother you. I….You haven’t really been answering any of my messages. Is everything ok?”

Charity forces out a smile. “Yeah everything is fine. I have just been really busy with this place.”

Matty scoffs and Charity shoots him her death glare. She looks back at Vanessa who is giving her a wonderful, beautiful soft smile. It makes Charity’s chest ache as she thinks about the fact that soon that smile will be directed at someone else. Someone Vanessa will find love with.

“How was it a bad date?” Charity asks. She frowns as she looks down at the chair and a spike of anger hits her. “She didn’t hurt you, did she?”

Vanessa laughs again. “No. She did try and recruit me thought.”

Charity pulls a face. “Is that some kind of lesbian thing?”

That makes Peal laugh again and Vanessa glares at the older woman. “No. Can I come out back? I will tell you all about it.”

Charity nods and takes Vanessa’s hand in hers. Vanessa squeezes her hand and Charity’s heart replicates the movement in her chest. Losing Vanessa is going to be one of the hardest things that will have happened to her. Of that she is sure.

They walk through to the back room and Charity stops short just before she opens the door. “Moses is asleep on the sofa. I think he has that bug.”

The genuine concern on Vanessa’s face makes Charity want to weep. She has not only been a great friend for Charity but a great role model for her children. They love her, and she loves them. Distancing herself from Vanessa is a must, but up until now she hadn’t considered how it will affect her children. She guesses that she will have to cross that bridge when it comes to it.

Charity gently opens the door and sighs in relief when she sees he is still asleep.

“I didn’t think he was ever going to stop throwing up. I have had to shower him twice. I had to get in with him the second time. He covered us both.”

Vanessa runs over to the sofa to see the little boy. She places her hand on his forehead and winces. “He has a temperature like Johnny did. Does Paddy have a stash of ginger biscuits hidden away anywhere?”

Charity shrugs. “I have no idea where he would hide a stash of biscuits.”

Vanessa stands up right and chews on her bottom lip as she looks around the living room. Her eyes light up and she spots a shoe box on the top of the cabinet. “Can you reach that box for me?”

Charity does, holding back the usual joke she would make about Vanessa’s height, or lack thereof. She passes Vanessa the box and lets out a shocked laugh as Vanessa pulls off the lid. Inside there is a bar of chocolate and some ginger biscuits.

“The sneaky git! How did you know they would be in there?”

Vanessa takes the biscuits out and hands the box back to Charity. “When I first got here I lived with Paddy and Rhona and he always had a stash of ginger biscuits hidden in a shoe box.”

Charity laughs and shoves the box back on top of the cabinet. “What are they for anyway?”

“They will help settle his little tummy. Don’t let him scoff them down though. Just small bites every so often.”

Charity nods. “Ok. Thanks.”

“No problem. So, do you want to hear about my date?”

Charity tries to look chirpy and eager as she replies, “Yeah, course I do, babe.”

Vanessa starts off by showing her a picture of her date, Melissa. Jealously shots down Charity’s spine when she sees how attractive the other woman is. Vanessa will have no problem getting women who look like that to go on a date with her.

Vanessa then tells her all the things they spoke about over those few glasses of wine and then how it suddenly started going all wrong.

“Flat earthers?”

Vanessa laughs. “Yes. Flat earthers.”

Charity shakes her head in disbelief. “Unbelievable.”

“That isn’t the worst of it though. I spent all night thinking she had this cute little beauty spot on her face, like Marilyn Monroe. Then, after I said I don’t believe the earth is flat and she started acting all weird, she rubbed her face and well, it only smudged didn’t it.”

Charity lets out a laugh and then quickly covers her mouth. She makes sure Moses is still asleep before looking back at Vanessa who is also laughing into her hand.

“I have no idea if she drew it on or if it was food. It was so disturbing though.”

“I bet it was.”

“And then to top it all off she said she would have given me some banging orgasms whilst we fought for the truth. Banging orgasms, who says that!”

Charity laughs. “I thought I heard someone shout the word orgasm. I thought I was imagining it.”

“Think of that word often do you?” Vanessa asks with a teasing lint to her voice.

Charity laughs and rubs the back of her neck. “You know me, babe, I don’t think of much else, do I?”

That wasn’t exactly a lie. Charity loves sex, she has yet to meet anyone who doesn’t, but she doesn’t think about it twenty-four seven.

Vanessa rolls her eyes but carries on. “So I don’t think I will be seeing her again. I thought she was nice as well. I suppose that is what you get when you use a dating website.”

“Very true. You are lucky she didn’t end up being a man. I read about a craze of men joining lesbian dating sites and pretending to be women. Freaky shit that is.”

“Very freaky. It is weird though. I….She is really beautiful but I wasn’t attracted to her.”

Charity sits upright in her seat and hopes she doesn’t look as happy as that comment has just made her feel. “Oh?”

“I mean a woman like that should make you think about raw, hot, passionate sex, shouldn’t she?”

Charity’s body temperate spikes by what feels like a couple of hundred degrees. Hearing Vanessa say those words has her thinking about Vanessa and herself having raw, hot, passionate sex. It is the first time she has thought about sex with her best friend. She’s acknowledged how she feels about her yes, but she hasn’t thought about the physical side of the relationship yet. Now she has she knows she won’t be able to stop.

_I will be thinking about sex twenty-four seven now that’s for sure._

Vanesa sighs, thankfully not noticing the change in Charity. “I should have been less of a wuss in Uni and gone after Jill. I might not be in this position today if I’d have done that. Then again I wouldn’t have Johnny.”

“Who is Jill?” Charity asks, desperately needing to take her mind off Vanessa….Naked. Writhing around underneath her. Screaming out her name as she comes around Charity’s fingers.

“The first woman I really had a crush on. She was so beautiful. I have no doubt she probably is. I should have bit the bullet and asked her out in Uni.”

“Was she gay?”

Vanessa giggles. “I don’t know. Probably not, knowing my luck.”

“Well,” Charity starts knowing the words she is about to say next are going to rip her heart out even more. “How about we start finding you your Jill. Not the actual Jill but a woman who makes you feel the same way?”

The smile Vanessa gives her is so breathtakingly beautiful that it warms her heart. “Yes! Let’s do it!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the lovely comments and Kudos :) Each one is really appreciated


	5. Five

It has been two weeks since Vanessa’s date with Melissa and she hasn’t had much luck since then. She has been on four dates since then and each one has been bad. Not in the same way that her date with Melissa was, and none as weird, but each one had left Vanessa feeling more and more deflated.

Date one, with a woman called Louisa, was awkward from the start. They had nothing in common whatsoever. Louisa doesn’t drink and doesn’t really like anyone who does. She pulled a face every time Vanessa took a sip of her wine. Louisa cut the date short, thankfully, and then blocked Vanessa on the dating app.

Date two was with a woman called Roxy. She was funny, bubbly, and they had a few things in common, but she loved the sound of her own voice too much. Vanessa can’t remember saying more than five words throughout the whole date.

Date three was with a woman called Nikki. Vanessa thought this date would be the one that broke the mould. They got on well, Nikki works in a dog and cat rehoming centre, so they share a love for animals. They ate, they drank, and Vanessa was just about to suggest they meet again when Nikki burst into tears. Apparently, she isn’t over her ex and thought that finding a rebound was the best idea. Vanessa took a crying Nikki to a taxi and waved her off, feeling more dejected than before.

The fourth date, well Vanessa knew before she left her house that she shouldn’t be going on it. The woman, Claire, seemed to be very keen to take Vanessa’s lesbian experience to the next level. They hadn’t even finished their first drink before she was leaning over the table and whispering dirty suggestions into Vanessa’s ear. Vanessa gladly took the faux emergency call from Tracey and legged it as fast as she could.

Now, two weeks later, she is walking around Tesco wondering how it has all gone so wrong for her. Most people on the site claim to have met the love of their life right away. She wondered how many women she was going to have to go through to find ‘the one’.

The other thing that is worrying her is the fact that she wasn’t attracted to any of them. Just like with Melissa she could appreciate the fact that they were all very beautiful, but she didn’t feel the stirrings of lust one would expect to feel when faced with a beautiful woman. 

She fancied Kirin for Christ’s sake, yet she hasn’t fancied any of the beautiful women who have been sat opposite her for the past few weeks. She is giving it up anyway. Well, the online dating side of it anyway. She can’t keep asking Tracey or her Dad to watch Johnny so that she can go out on these dates. She also believes that she is one of those people who will meet the love of her life when she least expects it. She will probably walk out of a shop and bump into a beautiful woman and fall madly in love.

She walks out of the bread aisle and turns to the left and her trolley collides with another trolley with some force.

“I am so sorry,” Vanessa apologies. “I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

The owner of the other trolley looks up and Vanessa’s heart skips a beat. It can’t be……

“Jill?”

The other woman tilts her head and looks at Vanessa with a bemused expression on her face.

“Do I know you?”

“Um…Vanessa, Vanessa Woodfield………We were at uni together…..”

Jill’s eyes light up and she shoves her trolley to the side. Before Vanessa knows what is happening Jill has her wrapped up in a tight hug. Vanessa’s arms hang limp by her side as her brain tries to register what is happening.

She is being hugged. By Jill Whitaker. Her university crush. Who smells divine.

Jill pulls back and grips Vanessa by her shoulders. “I can’t believe it is you! You look amazing!”

Vanessa feels a blush rise up her chest and onto her face. She never in a million years ever thought that Jill Whitaker would say she looks amazing.

“You do too. God it’s been what, twenty years?”

Jill nods and runs a hand through her brunette locks. “It has to be! How are you doing?”

“Really well. You?”

Jill nods again and then looks down at her trolley. “How about we go for a drink?”

“Now?”

“Yeah now. Why not. I can come back tomorrow and finish off my shopping.”

Vanessa looks down at her trolley and the four items she has in there. Does she carry on shopping or go on a date with the first woman to ever grabbed her attention, and then keep it for six years......

No contest.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

 

                                       - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

They walked to a bar over the road from the supermarket. Vanessa brought the first round and Jill brought the second. Vanessa was on cloud nine. Jill was just as captivating as she remembered her being and equally as beautiful.

They still got on like a house on fire. They always did. Vanessa just never had the guts to take it any further. Jill was always into the men anyway. Always dating the coolest guy at the university. Maybe things would have been different if Vanessa had told her how she felt. The again, she would never have had Johnny and because of him she couldn’t bring herself to imagine going back in time and changing things. He was worth all the years of hiding.

“So, what vets do you work at?”

“A small one in Emmerdale.”

“Ah yes, Paddy Kirk works there, right?”

Vanessa’s eyebrows rise in shock. “You know Paddy?”

“I met him a few years ago at a conference. He is lovely. A bit……”

“Awkward, stutters a lot,” Vanessa offers with a grin.

Jill laughs and the sound lights up the room. Like it always did. Vanessa would always go out of her way to make Jill laugh, just to hear the sweet melody, and nothing has changed.

“Yes, that is exactly how I would describe him. Have you worked there long?”

“Six years now.”

“Do you live in the village?”

“Yep.”

“Do you live alone?” Jill asks, her head dropping down to her lap and she lets out a laugh. “Sorry. Bit full on there.”

Vanessa frowns in confusion. “How….what do you mean?”

Jill laughs and shakes her head. “You haven’t changed, have you? You still can’t see when someone is interested in you.”

Vanessa’s throat bobs as she swallows down hard. She thought she was going to have a pretty boring shopping trip and then go home and have an early night. She never for one second thought she would end up having a drink with Jill, who would then, from what Vanessa is getting, hit on her? Is she dreaming? Has she hit her head? Is this a big joke from the universe?

“You….you’re……”

“Yes, Vanessa. I am interested in you. Truth is I was in university, but I was hiding who I really was. Being raised by two homophobic parents will do that to you.”

Vanessa grunts in agreement.

“I liked you a lot in university, but I wasn’t sure if it was reciprocated or not.”

“It was,” Vanessa whispers and Jill gives her a beaming smile in response. “I was scared about coming out because of my mum. I have only recently come out to everyone I know. I’ve had a few moments over the years, but I’ve been with men all my life.”

“Same here,” Jill says with a sad smile. “We could change that though….” She sends Vanessa a wink and Vanessa feels herself blush in response. God, her reaction to this woman hasn’t wavered at all over the years. That can only be a good thing.

“We—” Vanessa stops when she hears her phone ringing in her pocket. She pulls it out and winces when she sees Tracey’s name flash across her screen. “Sorry it is my sister. I’ve got to get it.”

Jill smiles and waves her hand in the air. “That’s fine.”

“Tracey, is everything ok?”

“Yeah. I was just getting worried. Where are you? Johnny wants you.”

“I bumped into an old university friend. Is he ok?” Vanessa asks.

“He is fine. He has hardly seen you today and I think he just wants some Mummy time.”

“I’ll come home,” Vanessa says. Yes, she is enjoying getting reacquainted with Jill, but her boy comes first. She hangs up and gives Jill an apologetic smile. “Sorry I have to go. My little boy wants me.”

Jill’s eyes soften. “You have a little boy?”

Vanessa smiles as she thinks about Johnny. “I do. He is three.”

“How wonderful.”

They both stand at the same time and the air around them turns awkward. Vanessa laughs nervously, unsure what to do next.

“Shall we exchange numbers?” Vanessa asks and Jill nods in response. They quickly swap numbers before leaving the pub. The walk back over to the pub carpark in a comfortable silence.

Vanessa points to her car. “That’s mine. So……I’ll be hearing from you soon?”

Jill nods. “Very soon.” She takes a step forward and kisses Vanessa on the cheek. “Very, very soon.”

Vanessa watches Jill walk away with a look of amazement on her face. Jill just kissed her on the cheek. Jill wants to hear from her soon. Jill always liked her back. This was without a doubt the best shopping trip ever. 

 

                                                - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 Vanessa spends the next few days on cloud nine. She hasn’t stopped texting Jill. They even had a late-night phone call last night. Tracey and Leyla are buzzing for her and Rhona is in a state of shock. She is convinced that Jill is straight, no matter what Vanessa tells her.

The only one who Vanessa hasn’t spoken to about it is Charity. She feels a bit bad because she hasn’t even thought about telling her. To be fair to her she hasn’t been to the pub since the night she bumped into Jill. The other three women only know because she has seen them and told them face to face.

That is why she is on her way to the pub now on her lunch break. She is hoping her friend is working. If she isn’t then hopefully she will be out in the backroom. Vanessa walks through the door and smiles when she spots Charity in her usual spot. By the end of the bar doing a crossword.

Charity looks up as the door closes behind Vanessa and the smile she gives her makes Vanessa’s heart skip a beat. She has missed her friend she realises as she all but skips to join Charity. She has missed her smile and her laugh and her insulting jokes. Things have been…..not strained because they haven’t had any fallings out, but a bit weird between them over the past few weeks. Vanessa really wants to get on top of that.

“Hey, you.”

Charity puts down her pen. “Hey, how are you?”

“I am good. Great, actually. Are you free?”

Charity looks around the quiet pub. “Most of these are in for their lunch, so I can be. Do you want your usual?”

Vanessa nods as Charity stands and makes her way out to the kitchen. She comes back out and grabs a glass to get Vanessa some orange juice. Vanessa sits on a stool at the bar, deciding it will be easier if they sit at the bar, in case anyone wants serving.

Charity places Vanessa’s drink in front of her. “So, what has you all chirpy?”

“Do you remember me telling you about Jill? The woman I had a crush on in uni?”

“I do. I remember saying we need to find you a new Jill.”

“Well, we don’t need to. I have found her. Jill. I literally bumped into her whilst I was shopping a few days ago. And, well, we went for a drink and it turns out she always liked me too. She was too scared to say anything to me, like I was to her. How crazy is that?”

Charity visibly pales and a wave of concern hits Vanessa. She hopes her friend isn’t ill again. “Yeah, that is crazy. So are you seeing her again?”

“Tonight! She is coming here. My dad is watching Johnny for me. Tracey and Leyla are on a night out in Leeds, so she understands that I can’t be out late. I would have told you before now, but I haven’t seen you.”

Charity nods slowly. “Well, I hope you have a good night. I’ve got to run actually. Cash and carry job.”

Vanessa frowns as Charity grabs her phone from behind the bar at quite some speed.

“Charity are—”

“I’ll see you later, Vanessa.”

Before Vanessa can utter another word, Charity is gone. She is about to give chase when Marlon walks through with her sandwich. Chas follows him and she looks around the pub in confusion before her eyes land on Vanessa.

“Has something happened to her? Has someone said something? She just ran out of here like a bat out of hell.”

Vanessa shakes her head. “She was fine when I got here and then she went all pale and said she has to go to the cash and carry. I didn’t get a chance to ask if she is ok before she pegged it.”

“Cash and Carry? We did that yesterday.”

Marlon places her food down in front of her. “She probably got a booty call or something,” he says in his usual jokey way.

“Her phone was behind her on the counter. It didn't go off,” Vanessa says slowly as she tries to make sense of it all.

Chas crosses her arms over her chest. “Well, something is up with her. It has been for a while now. I’ll speak to her when she comes back. It is probably nothing serious. She has probably just remembered there is a sale on she doesn’t want to miss.”

Vanessa lets out a fake laugh. Charity’s family are always downplaying her feelings. Like she doesn’t have any real ones and if she is ever upset then it must be over something superficial, like missing a sale or something like that. It pisses Vanessa off. It always has and it always will.

“Well, lets hope it is that and it isn’t anything serious,” Vanessa says sternly. She will find out what is wrong with her friend. God help anyone if they have upset her.

 

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Charity stumbles back into the pub at god knows what time. She doesn’t know what time it is. She doesn’t know if it is the same day as it was when she left the pub. She crashes into the sofa and giggles to herself. She has no idea how much she has had to drink. She has no idea how she even got home really. A taxi….must have been. Did she pay them? She must have done.

She throws her bag onto the sofa and walks further in to the living room door. She swings the living room door open and is met with the sound of laughter and talking. The pub is still open so it can’t be that late. She stumbles through the door and heads for the door to the bar. She hits the door frame, attracting the attention of Chas, Debbie, Faith and an attractive brunette woman who is sat at the bar alone.

“Where the hell have you been?” Chas demands. “We have been calling you. You have been gone for hours.”

Charity narrows her eyes as she looks at Chas. “How many hours exactly?”

Chas sighs when she hears the slur in Charity’s voice. “Four! How much have you had to drink?”

Charity shrugs and goes to the fridge. She goes to open it to retrieve a bottle of wine. Chas kicks the door shut and grabs Charity by her arms. “What the hell is wrong with you? Have you been turned down by some millionaire? Have you been dating a married man in secret and he won’t leave his wife for you?”

Rage flashes through Charity. “Piss off, Chas.”

“Mum! What is wrong with you?”

Charity swings her head around and looks at her daughter. Her daughter who yet again is looking at her in disgust.

“Nothing, why, what is wrong with you?”

Charity goes to open the fridge again and Chas shoves her off again. She loses her rag and shoves Chas back. Then she shoves her again. She goes to shove her again and is stopped by a pair of strong hands gripping onto her arms.

“Charity! What the hell is wrong with you?”

Vanessa! Of course! She has her date in here tonight. Charity relaxes in Vanessa’s hold and Vanessa’s grip on her arm lessens. Charity does a stumble turn and gives Vanessa her drunk grin.

“Hey, babe!”

Vanessa winces at the smell of alcohol on Charity’s breath. “Are you ok? Why have you been drinking? Has something happened? Please don’t tell me Bail’s is going through with his appeal?”

Charity shakes her head. “Nope. I am fine. I just wanted a drink.” That is when she registers the brunette sat at the bar. “Ooooooo is that her?” Charity breaks free of Vanessa’s grasp and falls against the bar in front of Jill.

Jill to her credit doesn’t even flinch. She just gives Vanessa a bemused look before looking back at Charity.

“Hello,” Jill says with a smile. “You are….”

“Vanessa’s friend.”

“Ah….Leyla?”

Charity frowns and shakes her head. “Charity.”

Jill gives her an apologetic smile. “I am sorry. She hasn’t mentioned you.”

Charity tries to ignore the spike of pain that stabs her right in the heart, she really does, but she can’t. She decides she needs to carry on what she has been trying to do all evening. Drinking until she is numb. She goes for the fridge again and this time Chas doesn’t stop her.

Vanessa does.

“I don’t think so. Come on. Let’s get you to bed.”

Charity pulls her arm out of Vanessa’s grip a lot more forcibly than she intended to. Vanessa stumbles backwards and Chas lets out a gasp. Vanessa though doesn’t bat an eyelid. She gently grabs Charity’s shoulders and starts to guide her out of the pub.

“I will be back in a minute, Jill.”

Charity doesn’t hear Jill’s response. She doesn’t care what she says. She doesn’t want that woman in her pub. She doesn’t even know her and she hates her. She is the one, the one who made Vanessa forget all about her. She should have barred her. No, she will bar her, she thinks through the drunken fog in her brain.

Vanessa gently guides her to the sofa and Charity drops down onto it very ungracefully. She closes her eyes and groans as the room spins. She hears a cupboard door open, a glass rattle, and then the sound of running water.

She hears Vanessa walk towards her, her heels clicking against the hardwood floor in the living room. She hears what she presumes is a glass of water being placed on the coffee table. She keeps her eyes closed though. Maybe if Vanessa thinks she has passed out she will leave. She needs her to leave. She wants her to leave.

The sofa dips next to her and she sighs. No such luck. She should know better than to presume that Vanessa will just leave her in this state without any explanation.

“Charity, what the hell is going on?”

Charity keeps her eyes closed as she replies. “Can’t a girl just have some fun?”

“Well, a girl can if she isn’t acting weird beforehand.”

Charity scoffs. “Like you know how I have been acting.”

Vanessa gently grips Charity’s chin and turns the other woman’s head towards her. Charity reluctantly opens her eyes and gulps when she realises how close Vanessa’s face is to hers. So close that she can just about feel Vanessa’s warm breath skimming across her face.

“I have been worried about you, Charity. You have been acting weird for weeks now. You have been having those weird, random headaches. You have been avoiding spending anytime with me and—”

Charity lets out a humourless laugh. “I haven’t had much chance to spend anytime with you, babe. You have been too busy trying to find a woman, haven’t you?”

Vanessa frowns. “I have been on a few dates yes, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have time for you.”

“Really? Because you couldn’t even be bothered to tell me about most of the dates. I heard what happened in all of them from Tracey. You didn’t even tell me about Jill until today and you failed to mention me to her. I mean, am I that easy to forget?”

Vanessa looks confused to say the least. She clearly wasn’t expecting the conversation to go down this route. “I am sorry, Charity. I really am. I didn’t purposely forget to tell you about the dates or Jill. But to be fair you have been the one avoiding me.”

Charity shrugs. “Like I said. I am easy to forget.”

Vanessa’s grip on Charity’s chin tightens. “No, you are not. You are one of my best friends, Charity. I care about you so much. More than you will ever know. I am sorry if I have been a bit preoccupied, but I swear it won’t happen again.”

Charity scoffs. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, babe. We both know once you start getting your leg over with your lady friend out there that I will become a distant memory.”

Her tone is harsh and Vanessa pulls back. A look of hurt takes over Vanessa’s features and Charity feels sick for putting it there. But she can’t do this anymore. She can’t stand by whilst Vanessa forgets about her and falls in love with someone else. She can’t. Maybe it is best if they cut ties now.

“Is that what you really think of me? After everything. I stood by your side throughout everything with Bails, and yet you think that just because I may meet someone that I like that I will just forget about you?”

Charity shrugs. “Like I said, everyone does.”

Vanessa shakes her head and stands up. She places her hands on her hips and starts pacing in front of the sofa. She does so for a few minutes before she comes to a stop right in front of Charity.

“How dare you. How dare you think so little of me, of our relationship. I would walk over hot stones for you. I would do anything for you. I was the only one in this village who really gave a shit when you were going through all that hell with Bails. I was the one who held you when you cried about Ryan. I was the one who held your hand throughout that trial. I was the one who helped you work out how to stop Ross taking Moses to Liverpool. I am the one who has been there to pick up the pieces every time you fell apart.”

Charity can’t stand it. She can’t stand hearing Vanessa remind her of everything she has done for her. How she helped her through the hardest time of her life. How she made Charity fall for her.

Charity stands and because of Vanessa’s heels they are eye to eye. “What do you want, a medal?”

Vanessa lets out a noise of shock and hurt mixed in all together. “I can’t…..No, I won’t deal with you whilst you are like this.” Vanessa walks around the sofa and heads towards the living room door.

Charity smirks. “Yeah, sure. I am sure your leaving has nothing to do with your hot date sat outside.”

Vanessa’s hand freezes on the door handle. She lets go and storms back towards Charity. She stops, her face inches from Charity’s. The hurt in her eyes has been replaced with anger, which is exactly what Charity wants to see. She wants Vanessa to hate her. She needs her to.

Charity’s eyes drop down at Vanessa’s lips and she almost whimpers at how good they look. She would give anything to know how they feel against her own. How they move. How they taste. She licks her own lips and raises her eyes back to meet Vanessa’s. Vanessa’s eyes have darkened and her breathing has quickened.

Charity doesn’t know what motivates her to do it. Maybe it is the anger coursing through her. The thought of never getting to do it. The thought of Jill doing it. The thought that, from the look in Vanessa’s eyes and the electricity flowing between them right now, Vanessa wants her to do it.

So she does.

She leans forward, closing the few precious inches between them, covering Vanessa’s mouth with her own.

Vanessa gasps.

Vanessa doesn’t move away.

Vanessa doesn’t push her away.

Vanessa responds, for a split second, pressing her lips back against Charity’s.

It is the best second of Charity’s life.        

Vanessa then does pull away.

Vanessa takes a step back with a look of pure shock on her face.

Vanessa turns on her heel and runs.

Vanessa is gone.

 

                          - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“Well, what an evening,” Jill says as she pulls up outside Vanessa’s house.

After Vanessa ran out of the backroom, she asked Jill if they could go somewhere else. Jill agreed whilst Chas and Debbie looked on in concern. She thinks Chas asked her if everything was ok, but she wasn’t sure. She just had to get out of there.

“It was eventful.”

“Is your friend ok?” Jill asks for the first time since they left the pub.

“Yeah, she is fine. She’s just had too much to drink. She has had a tough twelve months. Sometimes it catches up to her.”

Vanessa’s brain is all over the place right now and she is glad Jill doesn’t push her any further. Vanessa probably hasn’t been the best date tonight. Her mind has been stuck in that back room. Stuck tied to the memory of what happened the moment before she walked out.

Charity kissed her.

Charity kissed her and she kissed her back.

She kissed her back for just a second.

But it was a second that set her body on fire in ways she had never known it to before.

“I really enjoyed tonight, Vanessa.”

Vanessa gives her a soft smile, trying to bring her brain into the present, trying to get it to focus on the wonderful woman beside her, not the frustrating one back in the pub. She really does like Jill and she really does want to see where this will go. They clearly have chemistry and the get on so well. And she really is beautiful.

“I did, too. Sorry if my mind was off somewhere else for a lot of the night though. I promise it won’t happen again.”

Jill reaches over the handbrake and grabs Vanessa’s hand. “It is fine. You are worried about your friend. You have always been a good friend.”

Vanessa sighs in relief. “Thanks I guess.”

Jill laughs. “Still not able to take a compliment then?”

Vanessa laughs. “Not really.”

Jill nods towards Vanessa’s front door. “Can I walk you to your door, madam.”

Vanessa smiles at the playful banter. “You may indeed.”

They climb out of the car and walk up Vanessa’s path in silence. Vanessa reaches into her bag and grabs her keys, giving Jill a small smile when she’s got hold of them.

“Well, thank you for a wonderful night. Maybe next time we should go to your neck of the woods?”

A weird look crossed Jill’s face but she quickly hides it with a smile. “Sounds good to me. Good night, Vanessa.”

“Good night, Jill.”

For the second time that night Vanessa is taken by surprise by a spontaneous kiss being placed up on her lips.

Jill has nice lips. Soft and warm. She exerts just the right amount of pressure before pulling away before giving Vanessa a soft smile.  Vanessa smiles in response, more of an automatic smile than a genuine one.

Her heart is racing as she watches Jill climb back into her car and drive away. She quickly puts her key in her door and pushes it open. She jumps when Leyla and Tracey jump on her as she walks through the door.

“Oh my god! She kissed you!” Tracey squeals.

“She actually kissed you, Vanessa. She is so going to be the one you go all the way with,” Leyla says, sounding a lot more excited than one would expect someone to sound over a small kiss.

“How was it?” Tracey asks.

“Did it get you all hot?” Leyla asks.

“Both of you need to grow up. We will talk about it in the morning. I am tired, I want to go to bed.”

Tracey looks at Leyla and then at Vanessa, the confusion on her face is easy to see. Vanessa was so excited about this date, so her blasé response to their questions has no doubt got to be confusing for the two women.

Vanessa wordlessly climbs the stairs and walks straight into her bedroom. If they are confused then it is nothing compared to how she feels. She has been looking forward to tonight. She likes Jill. She wants Jill. She has been secretly hoping that the night would end with a kiss from Jill.

She hadn’t expected to feel so glum after kissing Jill, but what she really hadn’t expected was a kiss from her best friend. A kiss that, as short as it was, set her body alive in ways that no kiss ever has before.

_What the hell is going on?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the lovely comments and kudos :)


	6. Six

Charity groans as she opens her eyes. Her head pounds and her eyes sting as she slowly comes around. Another hangover. She has lost count of how many she has had since that night. The night she kissed Vanessa. The night she blew apart the best thing that has ever happened to her.

She tried to make amends the next day, she really did try. She text Vanessa asking if they could talk. Vanessa ignored her. She ignored the first, second, third, fourth and fifth text she sent. In the end she called her. She was met with a frosty hello and even frostier one-word answers. She will never forget how the conversation between them ended. She can’t forget. It is on a constant replay in her head.

_“Vanessa, I am so sorry for everything I said.”_

_“You’ve said that four times now, Charity. Why say those things if you didn’t mean them? And then why kiss me?”_

_“I was just angry, and I took it out on you, babe. You know what I am like. And the kiss…..” Charity falters as she tries to think of an excuse. “I just wanted to wind you up. Like I said, I was angry and hurting and wanted to hurt someone else.”_

_“And you think that is healthy, Charity?”_

_Charity sighs. “No, I know it isn’t healthy. But it is a hard habit to break, Vanessa.”_

_“Why were you hurting? What was wrong?”_

_“I was just…..having a bad day. You know, thinking about the past. I had a nightmare the night before, didn’t I, and it carried on throughout the day.”_

_Vanessa grunts. “You are lying. You always tell me when you’ve had a nightmare involving Bails. Why are you lying to me?”_

_“I’m not,” Charity protests, but even to her own ears the lie sounds weak._

_Vanessa laughs but there is no humour to it. “You know what, I can’t do this. I have bared my soul to you, Charity, so many times. I thought we were always open and honest with each other. Something upsets you and instead of telling me about it you try and hurt me to make yourself feel better. You kiss me to wind me up, and then you lie to me……..You need to make a choice right here right now, Charity. Either you tell me what is really bothering you or we are done. I am not going to be hurt in that way and then get given a half-arsed apology and then lied to. I deserve more than that.”_

_“You do, Vanessa, you really do.”_

_“So………”_

_“I….I can’t, Ness.”_

_Vanessa let’s out a choked noise down the phone. “Bye, Charity.”_

Charity can’t remember how long she sat there listening to the dial phone after Vanessa hung up. She can’t remember how long she sat there with tears streaming down her face. It wasn’t until Noah walked into the room demanding breakfast that she came to.

She has hardly seen Vanessa since. They seem to miss each other at the nursery drop off. She thinks Vanessa is purposely dropping Johnny off before she drops Moses off to avoid her. She hasn’t been going to any of the play groups either. She has been sending Johnny to them with either Tracey or Frank.

She hasn’t been bad mouthing Charity though as neither her father or her sister have said anything to her. She knows for a fact that they would love nothing more than to have a go at her. If Vanessa told them what happened between them then she knows she would have had it in the neck by now. And she has only seen Vanessa in the pub twice. Both times she was with Rhona and both times she had given Charity a look that screamed ‘don’t you dare talk to me’.

Charity quickly realised that her plan to cut Vanessa out of her life was the wrong one. She missed her. She ached for her. She missed her companionship, her laugh, her bad jokes, her strange little observations, she free affection she gave, her smile, the warmth that just having her near brought to Charity’s life.

She has been keeping tabs on her though via Paddy. He is oblivious to the fact that they have fallen out. Everyone is if she is being honest. No one other than Moses and Noah have asked where she is and why they haven’t been hanging out.

Because of that finding out what she has been up to by asking Paddy has been easy. She simply says, ‘how’s Ness? I haven’t spoken to her today’ and she is given a barrage of information. How bad a mood she has been in at work. How good a mood she has been in. What she has been doing. Where she has been going. And most importantly, who she has been seeing.

According to Paddy she has date number five today with Jill. He has no idea where they are going but he said she seems excited about it. Charity is happy for her, she really is, even if the thought of her with that woman is driving her insane.

“Oh, you are up then,” Chas says as she walks into the living room. She scowls at Charity as she passes her, a look Charity has received a lot from her cousin over the past few weeks. “Another late night drinking. Another night of you insulting our customers. You owe Pearl an apology today.”

Charity groans and tries to think back on last night. She can’t remember a single thing that happened. “Why?”

“You basically said she should probably be leaving this earth soon. Not that it bothered her, but I still think you should apologise.”

Charity presses the palm of her hands into her eyes. “I will apologise to her.”

“And you need to sort yourself out. You can’t keep getting drunk when you don’t have Moses. You do have another son to look after, and a pub to run, and a life to live.” Chas turns on the kettle and turns back towards her cousin. “I don’t know what is wrong with you but you need to sort yourself out.”

“If only it was that easy,” Charity mutters.

“What was that?” Chas asks.

“Nothing.”

Chas sighs and walks to the sofa. She sits down next to Charity and places her hand on her leg. It is the first form of physical comfort Charity has had since the night Vanessa walked out.

“Charity, I hate seeing you like this. I may moan at you and nag you and tell you off constantly, but you are my cousin and my best friend. I love you. I may not always show it, but I do. I can see you are hurting, and I want to help. I was hoping you would come to me with it, but you seem to be closing yourself off more and more every day.”

Charity sighs. “I….I’m sorry. I promise I will sort myself out.”

“You can talk to me you know, Charity. You don’t have to deal with whatever you are dealing with on your own.”

“I kind of do. I mean, it is my fault.”

“What is your fault?”

Charity starts picking at a loose thread on her trousers. “It doesn’t matter.”

Chas sighs. “Has it got anything to do with Vanessa? I have noticed she hasn’t been coming back here that much. She hasn’t been coming into the pub that much either. Paddy says she has been a bit stroppy at work too. Walking around with a face on her like you have.”

Charity feels a surge of happiness run through her. It is bad of her to be happy at the thought that Vanessa is miserable without her too. She knows that. She can’t help it though.

“Yes….I….I screwed up, and I miss her. I miss her so much, Chas.”

“Then tell her that. How did you screw up?”

Charity takes a deep breath before telling Chas everything that happened the last time she saw Vanessa.

“Wait……You kissed her…..Why?”

Charity smiles sadly. “Because I am crazy about her, Chas. Really crazy about her.”

Chas’s eyes go so wide that Charity fears her eyes are about to pop out. “You……” She then bursts out laughing and Charity frowns.

“What is so funny.”

“You finally realising that you are mad about Vanessa when she finally decides to start looking for a girlfriend.”

“What do you mean about me finally realising that I am mad about her?” Charity asks as Chas continues to laugh. She doesn’t see how any of this is remotely funny.

“Oh, Charity, you have been crazy about that woman for ages. Everyone could see it, even Cain said he has never seen you look at anyone the way you look at Vanessa. We were all waiting for something to happen between the two of you.”

Charity closes her eyes and shakes her head. “Waiting for something to happen……Like…..Like you think she had feelings for me too?”

“God yes. She looks at you like you hung the moon. She never takes her eyes off you when you are behind the bar or sat out here with her. She went through hell with you, and you didn’t always treat her as well as you should have, and yet she always came back. Always.”

A surge of hope runs through Charity, but it is quickly damped down when she thinks about the plans Vanessa has this evening.

“She is going a date tonight. With that Jill again.”

Chas smiles. “Paddy says she doesn’t seem that keen on her. He said even Rhona has been surprised by how she has been behaving. Apparently, Rhona thinks she is rushing into this lesbian thing. She thinks she is clinging onto Jill because she was the first woman that she had a crush on. He said that Rhona says she has been faking her enthusiasm when it has come to her dates with Jill. Even Tracey has commented on it apparently.”

“Really?”

“Yep. When did you realise you had feelings for her?”

“When she started going on about going on these dates. At first, I thought I felt jealous and anxious about it because I don’t want to lose her as a friend. Then I realised that I didn’t want her going on those dates because I don’t want her with anyone else but…….but me.”

Chas smiles. “It just hit you, just like that?”

“Yeah…..”

“Then maybe Vanessa needs it to hit her just like that too. I think you need to go and speak to her, Charity. No matter how the conversation ends, you can’t go on like this.”

Charity lets all that sink in. If what Chas was saying was true then she could be in with a shot. Maybe, just maybe, Vanessa feels the same way she does. Chas could be right. Charity clearly wasn’t ready to address her feelings for Vanessa. Vanessa maybe held hers back because of what Charity was going through.

Charity jumps up off the sofa. “I need to go and see her.”

Chas grimaces. “You need to shower and change first.”

Charity looks down at her rumpled clothes. She also sniffs the air around her and pulls a face as the smell of vodka and wine hits her.

“Shower, change, Vanessa.” Charity feels a buzz of energy skim through her veins. She smiles at her cousin and then takes them both by surprise by pulling her into a tight hug. “Thanks, babe.”

Chas gently pats Charity’s back. “Don’t thank me. It is what I am here for. Now please go and have a shower. You stink.”

 

                                         - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Vanessa nervously runs her hands through her hair and checks her make-up yet again. Jill is coming over and Vanessa couldn’t be more nervous. Jill suggested they change their evening date to an afternoon date once she found out Vanessa was going to have the house to herself. Johnny was with her Dad, Tracey was on a shopping trip, and Leyla was taking yet another apparently well-deserved spa day.

Vanessa only mentioned having the house to herself because Jill asked what her plans for today were. She replied that she would probably slob in front of the TV and take advantage of the fact that she has an empty house for a change.

Jill jumped on that right away and not so subtly suggested that they both take advantage of the fact that Vanessa has an empty house. Vanessa just agreed without thinking it through and now she isn’t sure if she is nervous or regretting it.

It is what she always wanted back in Uni, the chance to get intimate with Jill. It was what she would often dream about. Maybe she is just feeling nervous because it is her first time with a woman and she has no idea what she is doing. Or, she could be regretting it because she wants more than an afternoon fumble. Especially as it will be her first time with a woman.

Either way she hasn’t got long to think about it as the clock has just struck twelve which means that Jill will be there any second. Vanessa is seconds away from having some weird panic attack when there is a soft knock on her front door. She runs her hands through her hair again and opens the door.

Jill is stood on the other side looking as beautiful as ever. She smiles and Vanessa can’t help but return the smile. Jill looks nervous too and that helps ease Vanessa’s nerves just a tad.

“Hi,” Jill says softly.

“Hi,” Vanessa stands to the side and gestures for Jill to come in. Vanessa catches a whiff of Jill’s perfume as she walks past. It is new. Vanessa can’t say she is too fond of it, but she won’t be focusing on that this afternoon. Although, it is quite distracting.

Jill walks into the living room and Vanessa follows her. She watches as the other woman shrugs off her coat and throws it on the back of Vanessa’s chair.

“Can I get you a drink?”

“Sure. Do you have any beer?”

Vanessa nods. It is her Dad’s, but he won’t mind. She grabs them both a can and walks over to the sofa to join Jill. Jill has never been in side her house and Vanessa can’t help but think how strange it feels to have her here.

She passes Jill her beer and opens her own can, taking a few big swings to calm herself down. Her heart is racing in her chest. It is getting faster by the second and Vanessa is getting concerned that she may have a heart attack.

“Vanessa, I…..” Jill places her can on the coffee table and then takes Vanessa’s. She places Vanessa’s next to hers and turns her body round so that she is facing Vanessa. “Vanessa, I am really nervous, and I can see that you are, too. I don’t want to rush you into anything. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything with me today. Nothing more than kissing anyway,” she finishes with what Vanessa thinks is supposed to be a saucy smile.

They have kissed, a lot, since their first date. It was nice, it was pleasant, Jill was an ok kisser, but Vanessa was yet to feel anything resembling the crazy mad lust she thought would run through her veins when she kissed another woman.

It must be the nerves that are clouding everything else Vanessa thinks. Maybe if they get this first time over and done with she will feel more relaxed. Maybe because she is so nervous, she isn’t allowing herself to feel the excitement that comes with the prospect of hot sex with a hot woman.

On that note Vanessa gives Jill what she hopes is an encouraging smile. Jill smiles back and then leans in. Slowly at first, but as their faces get closer she slams her lips against Vanessa’s, taking Vanessa’s breath away. Jill clearly takes that as a good sign and the next thing Vanessa knows Jill’s tongue is in her mouth, dominating hers.

Vanessa operates on cruise control. Her body doing everything it should be doing. It kisses back. It leans into Jill’s body. It wraps its arms around the other woman and pulls her closer. Vanessa’s brain though is still trying to play catch up. It is trying to work out why something that should feel so amazing, so right, something she has been yearning for, feels so wrong. Like she is doing something wrong. Something she shouldn’t be doing.

Jill’s hand sneaks it way up Vanessa’s top. Slowly itching its way up her torso. Vanessa tenses. Her body isn’t trembling like she would have thought it would be. Hell, even Kirin was getting a reaction out of her by this point. Vanessa doesn’t push Jill away though. Instead, she carries on kissing her. She kisses her hard and fast. She tries to fight for dominance in the kiss. To take back some of the control she feels like she is losing.

Jill only takes this as encouragement though and her other hand slips to the button on Vanessa’s trousers. She pops the button open and Vanessa stops breathing. She can’t let this happen. It isn’t right. It doesn’t feel right. Her head isn’t in the game. Truth be told it hasn’t been right for the past month. Not since she last saw……

There is a knock-on Vanessa’s front door and she almost whimpers in relief.

“Ignore it,” Jill whispers as she drags her lips across Vanessa’s cheek bone and down to her neck. She leaves a wet trail across Vanessa’s face that has her shivering is disgust. It reminds her briefly of the weird boy in her reception class who used to lick everyone’s face. If she is comparing Jill’s kisses to a gross five-year-old boy then they definitely shouldn’t be doing this she thinks as she pulls back from the other woman.

Her surprise guest knocks again and Vanessa gives Jill a fake apologetic smile. She hopes it is Paddy or Pearl. Then she can lie and say there is an emergency at work and she needs to go.

“I will just be a second.”

Jill sighs. “Ok.” She sounds pissed off and that pisses Vanessa off.

Vanessa jumps up and runs to the door. She opens it and her smile is wiped off her face when she sees her surprise guest.

“Charity….”

Charity rocks backwards on her heels. She has her hands shoved into her pockets and she looks…..Vanessa wants to say nervous, but Charity Dingle is never nervous.

“Hi, Vanessa. I…..I was wondering if I could have a word. I…..I’ve really missed—”

“Hi,” Jill says, joining Vanessa on the front step. She throws her arm over Vanessa’s shoulder and gives Charity a grin. “Nice to see you again.”

Vanessa hasn’t told Jill about what happened with her and Charity. She hasn’t told anyone. She doesn’t know why. Maybe it is because she is so confused by what happened that night that she won’t be able to explain it to anyone else. She is still confused. Confused by Charity’s behaviour, why she was lying to her, where it all went wrong, and why she couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss.

Charity looks between Vanessa and Jill. Vanessa’s sees Charity’s eyes land on Vanessa’s trousers, and only then does she remember her button is undone. Realisation hits Charity and Vanessa visibly sees her tense and her shoulders drop. The smile falls from her face and the spark that was in her eyes when Vanessa opened the door disappears in an instant.

“Oh….I….I’m interrupting something.”

Jill laughs. “Thankfully just the start of something. A few minutes later and I am sure Vanessa here wouldn’t have been in any state to open the door to you.”

Anger shoots through Vanessa at the taunting tone in Jill’s voice. Charity picks up on it too and her jaw tenses. She is angry. Angry Charity is never a good thing and Vanessa knows she has to defuse the situation before it gets any worse.

“Jill, can you go back inside. I be with you in a minute.”

Jill places a kiss on Vanessa’s jaw and Vanessa can’t take her eyes of Charity as she does so. Charity’s eyes blacken and her jaw twitches even more.

“See you in a minute. I can’t wait to carry on where we left off.”

The taunting tone is there again and Vanessa doesn’t know about Charity, but she herself has the urge to punch Jill. Jill gives Charity a fake smile and turns on her heel, whistling a happy tune as she walks back into the living room.

Vanessa steps out onto the front step and pulls the door to behind her. “Sorry about that. She shouldn’t—”

Charity takes a step back and looks at the floor. “No need to apologise, babe. You are a grown woman. You can do what you like with who you like.”

Charity goes to walk away, and Vanessa reaches out and grabs her arm. Her hand tingles as she gently grasps the soft skin on Charity’s arm. This is how her body should be reacting to Jill. Not Charity.

“What did you come here to say, Charity.”

Charity looks at Vanessa and Vanessa is shocked to see the tears in her eyes. “It don’t matter, Ness. You…..You carry on. I……..I just hope she makes you happy. I hopes she treats you right. You deserve the world, Vanessa, and I hope she gives it to you.”

With that she pulls her arm out of Vanessa’s grasp and walks away. Vanessa watches her go. Her heart screams at her to give chase. She is one-hundred percent sure Charity was about to tell her she has missed her. Vanessa has missed her too. More than she has ever missed anyone in her entire life. Charity has left a huge hole in her life and she isn’t sure if she will ever be able to repair that hole without having Charity back.

This past month has been hell. She has held back from going to the pub to see her so many times. She is still hurting from the harsh words Charity threw at her. She is still hurting from the lies Charity told and that for some reason she felt that she couldn’t be honest with Vanessa.

Vanessa has lay awake many a night thinking back on that night and the weeks before it. Charity’s behaviour had changed virtually over night and Vanessa was still none the wiser as to why. Maybe it was time to find out. Maybe it was time for her to confront not only Charity but the weird feelings she has been having since they last spoke.

How she has ached for her.

How she has thought of nothing but Charity.

Charity’s smile.

Charity’s eyes.

Charity’s laugh.

Charity’s warmth

She goes to follow Charity when she hears Jill shout her name. She stops in her tracks and thinks to herself that she needs to speak to the woman in her house before she speaks to the woman in her heart.

Wait……Heart?

She walks back into her house. She closes the door behind her and feels a cold chill come over her as she looks at Jill. She doesn’t want this. She has been kidding herself and Jill. Rhona spoke to her about Jill yesterday, and maybe what Rhona said was right.

_“Ness, are you sure you are into Jill?”_

_Vanessa laughs. “Of course I am. We are having our fifth date tomorrow. I can’t wait.”_

_“Then tell your face that then,” Rhona says sharply._

_“Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?”_

_“Vanessa, every time you talk about Jill it seems forced.”_

_“Forced how?”_

_“Like you are desperate, in your head, to fulfil some university fantasy, but in your heart you know you don’t want to.”_

_“That is ridiculous.”_

_“Is it? I fancied the pants off Roy Moore at Uni. I met him a few years back remember? Before Marlon and I got together. I thought I still wanted to sleep with him. When it came to it my brain was still stuck in the past. It wanted to embrace the past. Change what happened. Maybe that is what is happening with you. Maybe you wish you had taken the plunge with Jill. Maybe you have always regretted it. You not doing that resulted in you hiding away until now. Maybe part of you thinks that sleeping with her now will take away the regret you feel.”_

_“I don’t regret anything. I wouldn’t have had Johnny if I’d have slept with her in Uni.”_

_“You said yourself you always regretted not telling her how you felt.”_

_Vanessa grunts in response. She gets far too chatty when she’s hand a drink._

_Rhona gently squeezes Vanessa’s shoulder. “Just don’t do anything you will regret, Ness. You can’t change the past by trying to go back in time.”_

Rhona’s words swim around her head as she stares at Jill and Vanessa realises Rhona is right. She doesn’t want this. She doesn’t want Jill. Bumping into Jill after finally deciding to embrace her sexuality was the worst thing that could have happened to her. She was confronted with her first crush whilst looking for her first girlfriend. Times have changed though, and she is now proud of who she is. Maybe she was trying to turn back time. Maybe in the deepest part of her subconscious she had hoped that sleeping with Jill would erase the self-hate she has always felt for not letting herself live her life how she wanted too. For hiding away.

Maybe she hoped it would be a small victory for herself. A treat from the universe. How many lesbians could say they slept with their first crush?

“Jill….I can’t do this.”

Jill doesn’t look surprised. “It is her, isn’t it?”

“What is?”

“The reason why you can’t do this, us. I saw the way you were looking at her. Not just today but that day in the pub, too. I knew you fancied me at Uni, but you never looked at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you would walk over hot coals to be with me.” Jill sighs and gives Vanessa a sad smile. “I really liked you back then, Vanessa. I still do now. I think you got a bit excited about bumping into your first crush and wanted to live in the past.”

Vanessa could kick something. How could everyone else see what was going on her in head but she couldn’t? She mocks Tracey and Leyla for being a bit dippy and living on cloud nine, but honestly, she is just as bad as they are half the time.

Jill wordlessly grabs her coat and her bag. She gently strokes Vanessa’s cheek before giving her another sad smile. “Be happy, Vanessa.” Jill walks to the door and stops short of opening it. “By the way, she looks at you in the same way.”

She watches Jill go, unsure of how she feels. Has she completely missed the signs? Has she been falling for Charity this whole time and she’s just not realised it? Has Charity been falling for her too? With Rhona she mistook loving her for being in love with her. Maybe with Charity she has mistaken being in love with her for loving her………

Now though her head is all over the place. She has no idea how she feels. The one thing she does know is she needs to see Charity. And she needs to see her now.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the lovely comments :)


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have done a double upload today. Mainly due to the fact I can't upload again until Monday/Tuesday, but also because a few of you asked so nicely. So before reading this chapter make sure you have read the one before :)

Charity doesn’t know how long she has walked around the village for. All she does know is that it has gone cold and she has five missed calls from Chas, so she is definitely late for her shift. Not that she wants to wind up Chas, but she really couldn’t care less about missing her shift right now. The pub, work, and Chas are the last things on her mind right now.

Vanessa is the only thing she can think about. And Jill. Vanessa and Jill. And what they are doing. What they are probably doing right this second. What Charity wishes she and Vanessa could be doing.

She finds herself walking to the park and sitting on one of the swings. She remembers the last time she was sat on these swings, just after she found out about Ryan still being alive. She remembers the conversation she had with Chas, about how when they were kids she would swing as high as she could on the swings at Chas’s house hoping to fly away.

She kicks her legs back and closes her eyes, wishing she could do that right now. Or at least go back in time and stop herself going to Vanessa’s house and seeing her with Jill. Jill who she could quite happily smack in the face right now. Jill who clearly enjoyed winding her up and rubbing it in about what she clearly interrupted. Just the thought of Vanessa with that woman sends a wave of nausea rolling through her. She had hoped this thing with Jill was going to fizzle out. It was clear that Vanessa was trying to relive her Uni days by dating Jill. She has even overheard Rhona and Tracey talking about it in the pub. Clearly they are wrong.

Vanessa really wants to find that someone special and she didn’t want to rush into anything with just anyone. Charity can’t see her sleeping with Jill just for the sake of trying to relive her past and what she wishes could have happened in Uni. Charity knows Vanessa has had plenty of one-night-stands and meaningless sex. She told Charity over a few glasses of wine one night just how many people she has slept with. To say Charity was shocked is an understatement.

She can’t see her doing the same thing with women though. The main reason Vanessa slept with so many different men, in her words, was because she was always looking for that special connection, desperate to fall into a man’s arms and find what her mother was desperate for her to find. A nice, loving husband. But more importantly she was trying to find that spark everyone went on about. She never found it and she always knew why. She knows Vanessa has changed a lot since having Johnny, too. She wouldn’t start seeing someone and have a sexual relationship with them if she wasn’t serious about them.

Charity kicks her legs underneath the swing, sending it slowly backwards and then forwards. She needs to get back to the pub. Chas is going to a counselling session with Paddy and neither Matty nor Bob can work today. She allows herself five more minutes to herself before she jumps off the swings and walks back to the pub, determined to wear her best fake smile and try and forget that her afternoon visit to Vanessa’s house even happened.

Somehow.

                              - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Vanessa sits at the bar nursing her pint. She has been sitting in the pub with the same drink for so long that it has started to go warm. She is also getting some looks of concern from the other villagers. Pearl has been over twice to see if she is ok. Rodney has tried to cheer her up by showing her some of his awful magic tricks and Chas has been watching her out of the corner of her eye since she ordered her drink.

“Do you want me to try her again?” Chas asks Vanessa. “She can’t have gone far. She hasn’t taken her car keys or her handbag. She is probably hiding away in the village somewhere.”

“Where though? She isn’t at Debbie’s, Cain’s or the Wishing Well. There aren’t that many places she can be.” Vanessa says a lot snappier than she intends to. She pulls a face and gives Chas a soft smile. “Sorry. I’m just worried about her. She was…..She was upset when I saw her earlier and I just want to make sure she hasn’t done anything stupid.”

Chas leans against the bar in front of Vanessa. “What happened exactly, if you don’t mind me asking. I know she was coming to see you. She was really happy when she left here, full of beans she was.”

Vanessa runs her finger around the rim of her glass. “She came round when I had Jill round. She…..We…..Jill…….It was an afternoon date and things were getting hot and heavy, not that I really wanted them to, and she saw, well, she didn’t see anything, but she got the gist of what she had interrupted. She looked……Chas she looked heartbroken.”

Chas sighs and drops her head forward. She takes a deep breath and looks back at Vanessa with a pained expression on her face. “Then she has probably nicked a bottle of vodka from David’s shop and is sat somewhere necking it back. Just like she has been doing for the past month or so.”

Vanessa’s heart breaks hearing that Charity has been drinking a lot recently. Charity gets drunk when she is sad to ease her pain. The thought of her being in pain and not being there for her, not knowing what she was going through, kills Vanessa. No matter what has happened between them she still should have looked in on Charity. Rhona, Tracey, Leyla and even her Dad have commented on how rough and down she has been looking.

For once Vanessa wishes she wasn’t so goddamn stubborn and hadn’t ignored what they said and that she had instead tried to patch things with Charity and found out once and for all what has been causing her so much pain. Not just in the past months but the weeks leading up to their fallout.

Not just for that but because she has missed Charity. She has missed her so much. So much that a few times she nearly gave in and came to see her. She would think about her constantly. Wondering what she was doing, who she was with, if she was ok or not. Johnny said something funny and the first thing she wanted to do was tell Charity. And they had a new patient at the vets with the weirdest name ever, a name she knew Charity would love, and she had her phone out to call her and tell her before she remembered their fight.

Why did she have to be so stubborn!

“Do you know why she was coming to see me?”

Chas nods but quickly holds up her hands. “I am not saying a word though. She needs to speak to you herself. What she has to say to you, well that is for her to say not me.”

Vanessa nods in understanding. “Can you try her again please? I can’t believe I left my phone at home.”

She ran out after Charity so fast that she forgot her phone. Then she refused to leave the pub as she honestly thought that Charity would be back at any moment. It has been two hours since she got to the pub and she has to get Johnny from nursery soon. She had hoped to see Charity before she left, but as the minutes tick by it is looking more and more likely that she isn’t going to see Charity until she has put Johnny to bed. That is if Charity is back by then.

Chas gets out her phone and calls Charity again. Vanessa holds her breath, hoping Charity will answer her damn phone. Chas shakes her head and Vanessa groans.

“Look, you go and get Johnny and I will tell her that you were here and I will get her to call you, ok?”

Vanessa nods. “Can you tell her that nothing happened with Jill after she came over and that I ended it with her?”

Chas smiles. “I will do.”

 

                           - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Charity braces herself before walking into the front entrance of the pub, knowing she is about to get an earful from Chas. She has called her seven times all in all, although she didn’t leave any voicemail messages which is odd. There is nothing more than Chas loves than to leave Charity a pissed off voicemail if she is late for her shift.

She walks in and gives Rishi a polite smile as he holds the door open for her. The pub isn’t too busy, and Chas isn’t behind the bar, Matty is. She feels a pinch of guilt at the thought of her cousin rushing around trying to find someone to cover her shift so she can go to her counselling session.

She walks through the bar, keeping her head down and avoiding eye contact with someone. She hopes she can twist Matty’s arm and get him to cover her shift too. She walks behind the bar and the young barman gives her a cheery smile.

“Chas it out the back.”

Charity frowns. “She didn’t go to her counselling session? And how come you are working I thought you had plans today?”

“No the counsellor is ill. And my plans got cancelled so I asked Chas if I could work today.”

Charity nods. “Are you ok to stay on and cover my shift?”

Matty laughs. “I thought that’s what I was doing.”

Charity gives him a forced smile. “Yeah, sorry I was……I needed a bit of me time. Is Chas angry with me?”

If Matty is shocked by the fact that she is worried about her cousins potential anger towards her he doesn’t say anything. Instead he shakes his head before saying, “No she just seems worried about you. She said if you came in to send you straight out the back and not to let you have any alcohol.”

Charity laughs softly. “I bet she did. Thanks, Matty.”

Even though Matty says Chas isn’t angry Charity is still expecting a little of hostility from her cousin. Chas’s biggest complaint about Charity is that she doesn’t put as much work into their pub as Chas does.

The living room door is open and she can hear the TV and Chas laughing. She is watching one of her favourite comedy programmes which means she is in a half decent mood. Charity slowly walks into the living room and coughs to get Chas’s attention.

Chas looks over her shoulder and Charity sees the relief on her face as she gives Charity a quick once over. “Thank god! I have been trying to call you.” Chas jumps up off the sofa. “Are you ok?”

Charity shrugs. “Honestly? I don’t know how I feel. It didn’t go well with Vanessa. Well, it didn’t—”

“I know what happened. She came looking for you. That is why I was calling you. She sat here in the pub for over two hours before she had to leave to get Johnny.”

Charity shakes her head in disbelief as she looks at the clock. Vanessa must have come to find her near enough after she left. “Did she say what she wanted?”

Chas smiles and grips Charity’s upper arms gently. “She said to tell you that nothing more happened with her and that Jill. And that she broke it off with her after you left.”

Hope blooms in Charity’s chest. “She did.”

“Yes. She also said that she will come back over later on after she has put Johnny to bed.” Chas smiles with glee. “I think she may have been had a smack in the face from the reality of her feelings too.”

Charity tries not to get her hopes up, but god if what Chas is saying is true then today may just be one of the best days she has had in years. If not her life.

“She’s coming over later, yeah?”

“Yep.”

“Do you think she will want any dinner or anything?”

Chas rolls her eyes. “Text her and find out. But maybe order in. We don’t want you two confessing all and then you end sending her to hospital by giving her food poisoning now do we?”

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Right, if he wakes up give me a call, but he should be down for the night,” Vanessa says as she reaches the bottom of the stairs.

Leyla just nods and doesn’t look up from the magazine she is reading, but Tracey gives her sister a funny look and tilts her head as she looks her sister up and down.

“Why aren’t you dressed more fancy? I thought this was your big date with Jill. You know, the one where you finally get your leg over.”

Vanessa gives her sister a fake smile as she grabs her bag and her yellow coat. She didn’t tell her sister or Leyla that her date with Jill had been changed from this evening to this afternoon. She also hasn’t told them that it all went wrong, and she ended things between them because she thinks she is crazy about Charity Dingle. Her head is still all over the place. All she knows is that she needs to see Charity. She needs to know where Charity’s head is at too. Maybe then she will be able to unscramble her own brain and work out where things go from here.

She also knows that if she tells Tracey and Leyla exactly what is going on they will go mad. In fact, she wouldn’t put it past them to tie her up and keep her hostage. She has no doubt that her sister will be outraged if she found out what is going on, or could be going on, with her and Charity.

“First of all, thank you for saying I don’t look nice enough to sleep with. Secondly, I never said we would be sleeping together. You came up with that all by yourself.”

Tracey opens her bag of crisps and shoves a few in her mouth. “Well, it is the fifth date. Most people get it jiggy on this date if they aren’t already. Right, Leyla?”

“Yeah,” Leyla mutters, still not taking her eyes off her magazine. Nothing comes between Leyla and her celebrity gossip.

Vanessa rolls her eyes and she shoves her arms into her coat. “Well, we won’t be.”

Tracey grins. “How do you know?”

“Because I very much intend to come back here alone. Right, remember if he wakes up—”

“Yeah, yeah, we know. I can get him back to sleep you know.”

Vanessa gives her sister a small smile. “I know but since he was ill he only wants me. No offence.”

Tracey smiles around another large mouthful of crisps. “None taken. Enjoy your night.” She winks and wiggles her eyebrows at her big sister.

“Grow up,” Vanessa says on a laugh as she grabs her keys and walks out of the house.

She pulls up the zip on her coat as a gust of wind sweeps through the village. She can’t wait for the weather to get warmer. She starts the small journey to the pub and says a quick hello to Jimmy and Nicola who walks past her on their way home. They’re in the middle of an argument and Vanessa laughs to herself. She doesn’t think she has ever seen them not having a little bicker. They adore each other but at the same time they seem to just drive each other mad.

As she gets closer to the pub the knot of nerves in her stomach gets tighter. She has been nervous since Charity called her earlier. She nearly dropped her phone in shock when she saw Charity’s name flash on her phone earlier. She smiles gently as she thinks back to their rushed conversation and Charity’s little babble.

_“Charity! I am so glad you’ve called me. Are you ok?”_

_“I’m fine. Sorry I worried you. I am fine though. Seriously, I am not lying. I am ok. Chas said you were here. She told me what you said. She also told me that you said you are coming back later on which is great. I was thinking that we could get something to eat. Like a takeaway or something. Well, not like a takeaway, an actual takeaway. That’s if you want to do that? I know it is late to be eating but it would be nice. Wouldn’t it? I haven’t—”_

_“Charity,” Vanessa interrupts her gently. “I would love that.”_

_“Brilliant. Pizza? We could share one.”_

_“That sounds perfect.”_

_“Good.”_

_“Great.”_

_“Well, I’ll see you later then, babe.”_

_Vanessa smiles. “You will indeed, Charity.”_

Vanessa stops just before she walks into the pub. She takes a deep breath and places her hand on her stomach to try and calm her nerves. This is Charity. She knows Charity better than she knows most people. No matter what happens tonight she wants to come out the other end with Charity still in her life. As her friend….or more…..whatever happens tonight, whatever comes from them talking, she wants Charity in her life. Of that she is one-hundred percent positive.

She walks into the pub intending to just walk right through to the back room. She stops in her tracks when she sees her dad. He thinks she is supposed to be out with Jill too.

“Teeny, is everything ok?”

Vanessa gives him a smile. “Everything is fine, Dad, why?”

“You are supposed to be going out with Jill, aren’t you? I didn’t think you were meeting her here?”

“Oh, we are not meeting here. I have just come to grab…..something from Charity first.”

“Ok then.”

“I will probably go out the back door, too. So I won’t be seeing you again….tonight….I won’t see you again tonight. I imagine you will be in bed by the time I get home from my date.”

Frank laughs and gives her a weird look. “Ok. Well have fun. And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Vanessa screws up her face. “It is totally wrong that you have just said that to me.”

Frank laughs and Vanessa shoves him as she walks past him and around the bar. Marlon is stood behind the bar looking like he wants to punch something, as per usual, and Vanessa can’t help but let out a little laugh. He has clearly been made to work the rest of Charity’s shift.

“Ah, Vanessa, see if you can get her to come and do some work for a change. I was planning on having a  nice night in with my wife. But no, Charity as usual can’t be bothered to do her shift.”

Vanessa straightens her spine, ready to fight in Charity’s corner. Marlon is always giving her a hard time and Vanessa has had just about enough of it. She doesn’t condone violence but right now she can see why Charity gave him a punch.

“She has been having a hard time recently, Marlon. Give her a break.”

Marlon folds his arms over his chest and scoffs. “She doesn’t look like she is having a hard time. In fact, I think she is going out on a date. She is all dressed up. She is even wearing her expensive perfume.”

Vanessa fights back a smile at the thought of Charity putting in an effort for her tonight. Surely that means that what Jill said is right and Charity really does what this. Want her. Then her smile fades as she looks down at her own outfit, her fancy flowery top, skinny jeans and flats. She should have made more of an effort herself.

“Well, she deserves a night out.”

Marlon scoffs again. “I bet you two are planning on painting the town red right?”

Frank frowns. “Vanessa is going out on a date.”

Vanessa nods. “I am. I have just come to get something from Charity. I will tell her that you have been moaning about her again though.”

She gives him a big, fake smile and feels a small bite of victory as he pales slightly. She waves to her dad and then walks through the private door. She walks to the living room but stops short of opening it. This is it. This could be the moment her life as she knows it changes. This could be the moment that her relationship with Charity changes too. This night might be one she looks back on in years to come. This could be the night she makes a memory to treasure for the rest of her life.

 

                                   - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Charity runs down the stairs and checks her appearance in the full-length mirror for the fifth time since she got changed over an hour ago. She is her strappy orange top with her favourite white jacket over it. Her favourite pair of skinny jeans and some boots. She hopes she hasn’t gone to over the top, but she wants to look nice. She wants Vanessa to see she has put some effort into tonight. She knows Vanessa will appreciate her outfit choice.

She chose this outfit though because Vanessa brought her the strappy top and Vanessa loves the white jacket. The boots are a favourite of Vanessa’s too, and she always says the black jeans make Charity’s legs look like they go on for days. She is going to finish the outfit off by wearing the earrings the boys got her last Mother’s Day. Earrings she knows Vanessa picked out for them.

Charity runs into the living room and has a quick look around, making sure everything is tidy. Moses made a right mess before bedtime, pulling out every toy he owns. Noah threw his school bag on the table and left it there until she threatened to shove it in a place the sun doesn’t shine if he didn’t move it.

Moses is fast asleep, and she has bribed Noah with twenty quid to stay in his room all night. She also had to order him a pizza earlier on after he threw a strop when she told him Vanessa was coming around for a pizza. The pizza parlour must she has developed one hell of an appetite. When she ordered Noah’s pizza, she also pre-ordered their pizza for tonight. The guy on the other end of the phone couldn’t hide his confusion at the double order.

She goes to the kitchen counter and grabs the little box containing her earrings. She puts the first one in with no problem. The second one however is a bit more troublesome and before she can move to go and put the earring in whilst looking in the mirror she drops it. She gasps as it rolls underneath the cooker.

“Oh, no, no, no!”

She drops down to her knees and groans when she sees how far it has rolled underneath the cooker.

“This is not happening! You stupid thing!”

 

                               - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The last thing Vanessa expected when she walked into the back room was for Charity to be in her hands and knees shouting at the cooker. Vanessa bites back a laugh as Charity lets out a few choice words.

“What has that cooker ever done to you?”

Charity jumps and gives Vanessa a sheepish smile as she looks over the other woman. Her smile fades quickly though as she looks back at the cooker.

“I am shouting at an earing that's rolled under the cooker.”

Vanessa laughs as she takes off her coat. She places her coat on the sofa along with her bag. “Has it gone far?”

“Yeah, it is fairly far back.”

Vanessa walks over to the kitchen and looks around for some inspiration. She smiles when she spots a long wooden cooking spoon. She grabs it and she drops to her knees too. Charity smiles when she sees the spoon.

“You are a genius. What would I do without you.”

The question hangs between them and the air thickens with an awkward tension. One that Vanessa has never felt around Charity before. Vanessa is the first to break the silence with a small laugh and a little shrug. “Well, don’t thank me yet. This might not work.”

Vanessa bends down further so she can see under the cooker. She can see the earring. It is one of the ones she picked out for Charity on behalf of Noah and Moses for Mother’s Day. She tries to reach it a few times but realises she needs to be lying down so she can get her arm under too. She can feel Charity watching her. Not watching her trying to get the earring but watching her, her face. It is almost like she can feel Charity’s eyes caressing her face and it makes her blush. She tries hard not to concentrate on the other woman though, the earring rescue needing her full attention.

After several tries Vanessa let’s out a little laugh when she finally manages to get the tip of the spoon close enough to the earring to pull it back in their direction. A little tug and the earring shots back out from underneath the cooker and lands right by Charity’s knee. Charity claps and Vanessa grins as she gets up onto her knees. Charity quickly wipes the earring against her trouser leg before putting it in her ear. As she is doing this Vanessa takes in Charity’s outfit. She is wearing the top Vanessa brought her, the white jacket Vanessa loves, the jeans Vanessa always compliments and the boots she also loves.

The outfit, and the earrings…….Charity has worn them for Vanessa. The fact that she was thinking about Vanessa when she was putting her outfit together makes Vanessa’s throat tighten. Who knew Charity could be so….dare Vanessa say, romantic. It might not seem like much to some, but for Charity this was quite something.

“Thanks, babe. I was worried I was going to have to ask Marlon to move the cooker to get it. Last time we asked him to move something in here he broke it.”

Vanessa laughs. “No problem.” Vanessa leans forward and gently pushes Charity’s hair behind her ears. “You…..You are wearing my ultimate favourite outfit and the earrings me slash the boys got you.”

Charity looks at her top before looking back at Vanessa. It is the first time since they have been in each other’s lives that Charity has looked at Vanessa like she is now. Unsure of herself. She is the strongest, bravest, most head strong woman Vanessa has ever known. Charity doesn't do anything without knowing exactly how it is going to play out.

“Yeah,” Charity mutters.

Vanessa looks down at her own clothes. “I feel really underdressed.”

Charity shakes her head and clears her throat. “You look beautiful, Vanessa. You really do.”

Vanessa stares at Charity.

Charity stares right back at Vanessa.

Vanessa drops her gaze down to her hands and then back at Charity again. Charity doesn’t take her eyes off Vanessa. Her gaze drops between Vanessa’s eyes and her mouth. Vanessa feels the invisible pull between them getting tighter. A pull she hadn’t even realised was there before now. Charity leans forwards an inch and Vanessa's heart jumps in her chest.

Is this really about to happen? Is she really about to kiss Charity Dingle?

It turns out that Charity isn’t questioning things like she is. She does what Charity Dingle does best and takes charge of the situation and before Vanessa even has a chance to take her next breath Charity’s lips are on her own.

Charity doesn’t try and rush the kiss. She let’s her lips linger and stroke gently across Vanessa’s. Vanessa eyes close against the rush of sensations that run through her body as Charity continues to softly caress Vanessa’s lips with her own.

It is like fireworks are shooting through her body.

Her heart is beating faster than it ever has before.

Butterflies are swarming her stomach.

Tingles shoot up her spine.

Her whole body feels like it has come alive for the first time in her life. Well, the second time. The first time was the last time Charity kissed her.

Vanessa sinks into the kiss. She cups Charity’s face in her hands and her body trembles when she feels Charity smile against her lips. They don’t go any further than lips caressing lips. Gentle but firm caresses that have Vanessa wanting more.

Charity pulls away slowly, kissing the tip of Vanessa’s nose before leaning back against her heels. She goes to say something but Vanessa stops her but reaching one hand behind her neck and pulling her in for another kiss. Charity lets out a surprise squeak which quickly turns into a moan as Vanessa runs her tongue along Charity’s bottom lip.

Just as the kiss starts to deepen there is a knock on the back door. Vanessa groans and Charity laughs.

“The pizza,” she mumbles against Vanessa’s lips. “I’ll get it. We can eat and then I really think we need to talk.”

“You don’t say,” Vanessa says teasingly.

Charity smiles and Vanessa remembers again just how much she has missed that smile over the past month. Charity jumps up and grabs her purse before running to answer the door. Vanessa stands, and her legs shake, but not because of the uncomfortable position they have been in, but because for the first time in her life a kiss has made her weak at the knees.

She has kissed a lot of people in her lifetime.

But no one has ever kissed her like Charity Dingle just has.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your lovely comments and all the kudos. Each one means the world.


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long chapter :)

“God that was delicious,” Vanessa says after she swallows her last mouthful of pizza. 

Charity smiles and nods in agreement. They made small talk whilst they ate their food. The conversation between the two women stayed on safe grounds and was mainly about the kids and work. 

Charity scoffed down her half of the pizza in record time. She is eager to get onto the talking part of the evening. Then, god she hopes, they can do a bit more kissing. Who knew her best friend would be such a good kisser? She should have known really. Vanessa is good at everything she does. 

Charity grabs the empty pizza box and goes to grab both plates when Vanessa stops her. 

“I’ll help clean up.”

Charity shakes her head. “I invited you here. I will clean up.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes. “Cleaning up in this case involves putting two plates in the dishwasher. So, you go outside and put the box in the bin and I will throw these in the dishwasher.”

Charity mock scowls at her. “Always so bossy.” Charity smiles as Vanessa laughs. “And don’t throw them in the dishwasher, babe. Place them in nicely.”

“Always so literal.”

Now it is Charity’s turn to laugh. This is what she has always loved about spending time with Vanessa. Their easy banter. The easy back and forth they have. They both know what to do and say to get a smile or a laugh out of the other. Charity doesn’t think she’s ever had a relationship like this before. Not one where she was so at ease with the other person. 

She quickly throws the empty pizza box in the bin and runs back inside. She is equal parts nervous and excited. And terrified. She is terrified. No matter how much she wants to do this, wants whatever could happen between her and Vanessa to happen, she is terrified of ruining the best relationship she has ever had. She screws everything up. Every relationship she has ever had has gone down the pan. What if the same thing happens here?

She takes a deep, calming breath and walks into the living room. Vanessa has cleared the table and is now sat on the sofa. There is an unopened bottle of wine on the coffee table and two glasses. She gives Charity a smile and looks at the wine. 

“I got it from your fridge. I didn’t want to go back out into the bar. My dad thinks I am on a date with Jill, and I don’t really want to have to explain myself right now.”

Vanessa saying Jill’s name reminds Charity what she interrupted earlier, and she feels a spike of jealously run through her. What she interrupted is one of the first things they need to talk about. Or more to the point what happened afterwards, she doesn’t think she can stomach listening to Vanessa talk about what went on intimately with her and Jill.

“Why does he think you are on a date with Jill?”

Vanessa pats the sofa. “Sit down. I will explain all. Do you want a glass of wine?”

Charity nods as she walks round the sofa. She sits down and watches Vanessa pour them both a healthy sized glass of wine. 

“Ok, where do I start….” Vanessa mumbles more to herself.

“The beginning?”

“Ok. I was born on March—”

Charity’s laugh interrupts Vanessa who smiles in response. 

“Not that far back thanks, babe.”

Vanessa takes a sip of her wine and shifts on the sofa so her body is angled more towards Charity than the coffee table. “Where do you want me to start, Charity.”

“What happened today? After I left?”

“I broke things off with Jill. Whilst we were……Nothing happened between us more than a bit of groping by the way. I need you to know what.”

Charity’s lips tighten. “I don’t…..Good.”

Vanessa carries on, “Whilst we were…..Well, I wasn’t into it. I wasn’t feeling turned on. I thought it was nerves at first, but then I realised I just didn’t want to be with her like that. I was about to tell her that to when you knocked on the door. After you left, I broke it off with her. When I said I couldn’t do it she said ‘it’s her isn’t it?’. Meaning you.”

Charity clears her throat. “What did she mean by that?”

“Apparently we look at each other like we are crazy about each other most of the time. She said I look at you like I would walk over hot coals for you and I have never looked at her like that.”

Charity fights back a smile, remembering that Chas said something very similar to her about how she looks at Vanessa. “How did she take it?”

Vanessa smirks and raises an eyebrow. “Do you care?”

“Care? No.”

Vanessa shakes her head and gives Charity a small smile. “She was surprisingly ok with it.”

“Good.” Charity doesn’t like the woman one bit, but she knows how it feels to lose Vanessa. She wouldn’t wish that pain on anyone. The last month has been the worst of her life. 

“I started seeing her, I think, as a way of capturing the past. She was my first crush and I think I thought that bumping into her whilst I was trying to find a girlfriend was fate.”

“Makes sense. Do you like her, in that way, at all?” Charity asks nervously. 

“No,” Vanessa stays so sternly that Charity knows she means it. “I like her as a person. I would like to stay friends with her. I don’t want to be in a relationship with her. I should have known that after the first time she kissed me if I am being honest.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because it did nothing for me. I thought it was because you kissed me, it was the night you were a drunken mess. I thought I didn’t feel anything when she kissed me because my head was all over the place. I kept trying to come up with excuses after that though. On the second, third and fourth date when she would kiss me, I would try and come up with reasons why I wasn’t feeling the reactions one would expect to feel.”

“I am sorry for kissing you that night. I was a mess. It was unfair. What I said to you was unfair, too. I was just….” Charity stops and starts picking at an invisible thread on her jeans. “I wanted to hurt you in the same way I was hurting.” She frowns. “That is so messed up. Vanessa, you deserve someone better than me, as a friend or anything more. Maybe you should—”

Vanessa places her hand on her arm. “I am not going anywhere. And I get to decide what I deserve, ok?”

Charity looks down at Vanessa’s hand and nods. 

“What you said hurt me yes, but it was the fact that you were lying to me that hurt more. We have always been so open and honest with each other and that night wasn’t the first time I suspected you of lying to me.”

Charity thinks back on all the lies she told to Vanessa in the few weeks leading up to their big fall out. “It wasn’t.”

Vanessa smiles and gently starts stroking Charity’s arm with her finger tips. “Ok. So how about I tell you why my Dad, Tracey, Leyla and Rhona think I am on a date with Jill tonight, and then you tell me about what exactly was going on with you. Yeah?”

“Yeah, ok.”

“Ok. So I haven’t told any of them what happened today. I want to be able to sort out where my head at and what this,” she stops to wave her free hand between her and Charity, “is before I tell them. My head was all over the place after Jill left. What she said got me thinking. About how I feel about you…..I needed to speak to you before I speak to them. Had I told them that Jill and I are no longer seeing each other then, well, I wouldn’t have got out of the house tonight for the barrage of questions that would have been thrown at me.”

Charity nods in understanding. “I get that.”

“Good. So…..what was going on with you, Charity?”

Charity takes a large sip of her wine. “When you started babbling on about getting a girlfriend I thought at first I was just scared of losing you. I thought if that started seeing someone then you would forget about me.”

Vanessa’s grip on Charity’s arm tightens. “I wouldn’t have, Charity. I promise.”

Charity gives Vanessa a reassuring smile. “I know. It was just my stupid head messing with me. Everyone else has always forgotten about me. But then again you are not like everyone else and I forgot that for a moment, didn’t I?”

That gets a smile out of Vanessa. 

“Then I realised it wasn’t just fear of losing you. I was jealous too. Again I thought I was jealous because I wouldn’t be getting to spend as much time with you if you found someone. Then I realised that I was jealous because I want you. All these feelings that I have been holding back came rushing to the surface.” 

Charity takes another sip of her drink as she thinks back on what she was feeling at the time and how she worked out why she hadn’t realised how she feels about Vanessa before now.

“I realised I held them back because of what happened with Cain. I was scared of being with someone again. I was scared because I didn’t want to be dropped like I am worth nothing again. Like he did. Then, everything happened with Bails and finding Ryan and my head was here there and everywhere.” 

She looks into Vanessa’s beautiful blue eyes. “Then I think I got comfortable with how things were between us. I was content and happy. I have never had such a meaningful relationship, Vanessa. I really haven’t. I think part of me was terrified of screwing it all up so my brain just blocked those feelings……If that makes sense?”

Vanessa nods. “It does. I think my brain did the same thing.”

“However, the thought of you with someone else just triggered something. I couldn’t handle the thought of you being with someone else. I realised then that the were the only one I wanted when I was going through the Bails stuff because you, Vanessa, are the only one I want by my side no matter what I go through.”

Vanessa smiles as her eyes start to water. 

“I…..started to think about how it makes me feel when you laugh, when you smile at me, when you hug me, when I hear your voice or see your face. I have always thought you were fit, babe, by the way, but it suddenly hit me how attracted I am to you.”

A light blush kisses Vanessa’s cheeks. “Fit?”

Charity winks. “Well fit, babe.”

Vanessa laughs. “Well romantic, Charity.”

Charity laughs and then sobers. “I…..Started acting up because I didn’t want to be near you because I thought it was best for us to cut ties, for me to distance myself from you, before you met someone. Then I couldn’t bear to be away from you. It was messing with my head big time.”

“I can imagine. You should have said something, Charity.”

“You would have run a mile, babe.”

“No I wouldn’t.”

“You would. Look, you needed to see for yourself that you like me…..That’s if you do?”

Vanessa rolls her eyes. “I don’t just kiss anyone like I kissed you, Charity.”

“Good to know,” Charity says sternly. 

“I was feeling things towards you, too. When you kissed me I felt that kiss from the top of my head right down to the bottom of my toes. I think that is why it confused me so much. Not only did I not feel like that when Jill kissed me, but I have never felt like that before.”

“Not even with Kevin?” Charity asks breathlessly. She can’t believe that one small kiss affected Vanessa in the same way it had her. The way Vanessa ran, well anyone would think she was horrified by the kiss. 

Vanessa frowns. “Kevin?”

Charity laughs softly. “Johnny’s dad.”

Vanessa’s mouth drops open before she bursts out laughing. She falls back against the sofa cushions as Charity watches her with a confused look on her face.

“What is so funny? I thought you loved Kevin?”

Vanessa shakes her head and waves both hands in front of her as tears stream down her face. “Ki……Ki…..”

“What?”

“His name…….is……Kirin!”

Vanessa carries on laughing and Charity can’t help but join in. 

“Oh.”

Vanessa wipes at her eyes as she starts to calm down. “Oh, Charity.” She lets out a long breath as she composes herself. “No one makes me laugh like you do. Even if it is unintentional at times.”

Charity smiles. “Glad to be of service to you.”

Vanessa smiles back. 

Charity takes Vanessa’s hand in hers. “Can I ask you one more thing?”

“Of course.”

“Do you know where your head is at now, in regard to your feelings, I mean if you have any. For me?”

Vanessa squeezes Charity’s hand. “I do. The kiss helped. Although. I may need another one, just to remind me.”

Charity smirks. “I suppose I can manage that.”

Vanessa laughs, her eyes sparkling like the stars in the night sky, as Charity gently cups her face and closes the small distance between them. Charity slips her tongue into Vanessa’s mouth which gets a groan from the other woman.

She doesn’t stop. She can’t stop. Vanessa’s lips feel so good against her own. Her tongue sensually slides against Charity’s like they have done this a million times before. Charity puts all her effort into the kiss. She and Vanessa were connecting in a way she never imagined they would and instead of feeling awkward or wrong it feels incredible and oh so right. 

When Charity pulls back Vanessa’s eyes are slightly dazed. Her mouth follows Charity’s and Charity gives her bottom lip a playful bite.

“God, Charity. You can’t half kiss a girl.”

Charity beams. “Well, I have a lot of hidden talents. Many hidden talents. Some of which I will only show you if you are a good girl.”

Vanessa’s eyes darken with desire. “I would have thought me being a bad girl would be a lot more fun. For both of us.”

Charity’s body throbs with desire as images of Vanessa being a bad girl, with her, in bed, naked, run through her mind. 

“As much as I would love for that to happen, babe, like right now, I think we need to take it slow.”

Vanessa pouts. “Where is the run in that?”

Charity laughs. “You are going to be a bad influence on me, aren’t you?

Vanessa grins. “Yep. But you are going to love it.”

Charity laughs again, shocked by the other woman’s behaviour. They have had many a conversations about their sex lives, or lack thereof. Most of those conversations took place after one too many glasses of wine. Charity couldn’t remember most of them very well. However, she has always believed Vanessa to be a bit of a….well, prude. She never imagined her to be so open about her desire. 

“I am sure I will. But until then, I suppose the snogging is ok. I need time to process all this too. Ok?”

Vanessa’s grin and the kiss that follows is the only answer she needs. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The next week fly’s by. Vanessa can’t remember a time she has been this happy. She has been practically skipping around the village and it hasn’t gone unnoticed by anyone. Especially Tracey who is still pestering her to hear all about her date with Jill. 

So far she has managed to hold her off, but she knows it won’t be long before Tracey catches on to the fact that something isn’t right. Maybe she should just tell them that she isn’t seeing Jill anymore. Yeah, she should. She feels guilty every time someone mentions her. Guilty like she is betraying Charity somehow. 

Charity. Just thinking about the other woman brings a huge smile to her face. The last week has been amazing. They have spent nearly every evening together. They have been out for dinner with the three boys or they have had dinner at each other’s houses. 

Keeping their hands off each other whilst the boys or anyone else is around has been hard. Vanessa is constantly desperate to feel Charity’s lips against her own. She flushes as she thinks about how a simple kiss from Charity has her whole body burning with desire.

When they eventually get around to doing it………God, she isn’t sure how she will ever let Charity out of her bed. 

“Wanna go for lunch at the pub?” Rhona shouts from the reception desk.

“Yes!” Vanessa replies eagerly. Charity has teachers evening at Noah’s school tonight, so she won’t get to see her. This unexpected lunch date in the pub will be the only time she will get to see her today and she is already formulating a plan on how to get her on her own for five minutes. 

“Eager much?” Rhona asks with a laugh. 

Vanessa smiles. “Just hungry.”

They close the vets and walk arm in arm. Rhona starts talking about Leo and some schoolwork, but Vanessa’s mind is already on the woman she knows will be behind the bar in their local. 

They walk in and Vanessa’s heart drops when she sees Victoria behind the bar and not Charity. 

“Rhona, you go and grab a table and I’ll order the food and get the drinks.”

Rhona nods her ok and Vanessa walks to the bar. Vic notices her and gives her a small smile as she walks over to Vanessa.

“Food?”

“Yes, and drinks please. Is…..where is Charity?”

Vic rolls her eyes and points to the backroom. “Spending some quality time with herself, as per usual.”

“Is she ok?”

Vic laughs as she grabs two bottles of orange juice from the fridge. “Of course she is. Just feeling lazy today, like every other day.”

Vanessa fights back the urge to defend Charity. She would rather spend a few previous minutes with her rather than arguing with Vic. It would only go through one ear and out of the other anyway. 

“Rhona, I just need to see Charity. I will be two seconds. Vic will bring the drinks over and she knows what food we want.”

They eat in there enough for Marlon and Victoria to know what their lunchtime food order will be. 

Vanessa doesn’t wait for a response from Rhona, she just runs around the bar and heads out the back. She swings open the living room door and smiles when she sees Charity sat on the sofa. Charity looks over her shoulder and her eyes light up when she sees Vanessa. 

“Hey, babe.”

That smile. Those eyes. Vanessa can’t help herself. She throws down her handbag and practically runs to the sofa. Before Charity can utter another word, Vanessa is straddling her. Then kissing her. Then running her hands through her hair and moaning into her mouth.

Charity grips Vanessa’s hips and moans as the smaller woman’s tongue slides against her own. Vanessa feels so powerful, beautiful and wanted when Charity responds to her kisses like that. She loves that Charity wants this, wants her, as much as she does. They have so many hurdles they still have to overcome, but they will. She knows they will. 

Vanessa’s body has a mind of it’s own when she is kissing Charity. Her hands are everywhere. Running through Charity’s hair. Scratching her scalp gently. Cupping Charity’s jaw. Pulling the other woman closer to her. She can’t stop touching Charity. She can’t fight the need to feel the other woman beneath her hands. 

Vanessa’s hands drop from Charity’s hair down to the top of her chest. She grips Charity’s top in her hands as Charity moves her mouth down to Vanessa’s neck. She sucks lightly on Vanessa’s pulse point and Vanessa grinds her hips into Charity’s lap in response. Vanessa releases her hold on Charity’s top and flattens her hands on Charity’s chest. She slowly moves her hands downwards to Charity’s breast. Charity normally stops her at this point, but today she doesn’t.

Vanessa kisses Charity at the same time as she brushes her hands against Charity’s breasts. Charity moans and thrusts her breasts into the smaller woman’s hands. Vanessa’s heart pounds as she gently squeezes the other woman’s pliant flesh. She can feel Charity’s nipples straining for attention, even through the material of Charity’s top and bra, and she has never been so turned on in her life. 

Charity pulls away, gasping for breath. Her hair is messy, her lips are wet and swollen from Vanessa’s kiss, and her eyes are black. Vanessa doesn’t think she has seen anything as beautiful as Charity Dingle when she is turned on. 

“Babe, we need to…..I don’t know how much longer I can do this going slow thing for.”

Vanessa barks out a laugh. “It was your idea! I would have quite gladly gone to bed with you last week.”

Charity groans and throws her head back against the sofa cushion behind her. “I know, I know. I am stupid. Don’t let me make any more decisions ever again.”

Vanessa giggles and places a soft kiss on Charity’s chin. “Deal.” 

She starts to climb off the landlady who stops her by gripping her hips. “Where are you going?”

“I am having lunch with Rhona. If I don’t appear in a minute she will coming looking for me.”

Charity groans. “Great. Get me all worked up and then leave.”

Vanessa manages to get off Charity’s lap this time and she looks down at the other woman and smiles. “That wasn’t my intention.”

Charity looks back at Vanessa. “What was your intention?”

“Just to see you.”

Charity smiles softly. “Go on, go back to Rhona. I will be out in a minute. I think I have found a reason to come back to work.”

Vanessa goes back out to Rhona and she really does try to give her best friend her full attention, but it is impossible to do so with Charity behind the bar throwing her sultry smiles every time she thinks Rhona isn’t looking. 

Charity is throwing her another flirty smile as Tracey and Leyla walk in. They do so just as Vanessa and Rhona’s food is delivered. 

“Aha! You are here!” Tracey shouts.

“I told you we would be,” Rhona replies.

“We weren’t sure if she would come here or not. You didn’t text me back,” Leyla says as she drops her bag next to Vanessa.

“I did,” Rhona argues. “I have been making small talk, but it hasn’t been any use. She has been away with the happy fairies again.”

Vanessa suddenly realises they are talking about her. Then she realises that it sounds like they have planned to meet here without her knowing.

“What is going on?”

“An intervention of sorts,” Tracey says proudly. “We want to know what is going on in your life. You have been floating around on cloud nine all week. Day dreaming, smiling at your phone like a loon. We want to know what you are hiding from us.”

Vanessa grins nervously. “I am not hiding anything?”

“Well, we know you aren’t with Jill,” Leyla says, crossing her arms over her chest and raising on of her perfectly plucked eyebrows. 

“How do you know that?” Vanessa asks. Her voice coming out all squeaky. 

“Because she came round the night you two were supposed to be on your date. She dropped her purse down the back of the sofa. She told us it was over between the two of you.”

Tracy takes over the interrogation from there. “So, we want to know where you went that night, V? Who were you with?”

“She was with me,” Charity shouts. 

Vanessa’s heart stutters in her chest and she momentarily panics thinking that Charity is about to blurt out what has been going on between them. She isn’t ashamed or embarrassed, but she wants to tell her sister and her friends herself. She wants to explain everything. They’re not Charity’s biggest fans but she knows she can help change that and that they will understand her feelings for the other woman better if they hear them from her. 

Charity throws her a reassuring smile and she feels herself relax. She should have known better than to think that Charity would do that to her. She is happy keeping this between them too at the moment. 

“Why were you with, Charity?” Rhona asks. 

“Because she was upset and confused about Jill, and she came in here after they’d broken up earlier on in the day and I told her she should come here in the evening and we could bitch about our naff love lives over a bottle of wine,” Charity says.

All three women look at Vanessa with different facial expressions. Tracey looks hurt, Leyla looks confused, and Rhona looks concerned. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Rhona asks.

“Because I was embarrassed. Another failed attempt at dating a woman.”

“I thought you really liked her,” Leyla says, still looking very confused.

“I do, but not as a lover but as a person. My head was back in uni whilst my heart and my body are firmly in the present, and they don’t want her. When things were starting to get a bit heavy between us my body wanted out. I didn’t want to touch her or be touched by her. I was fooling myself thinking that I did.”

“Why did you tell Charity first?” Tracey says, throwing an angry look Charity’s way. 

Charity to her credit doesn’t bite back or say anything hurtful to Tracey. She just gives Vanessa an encouraging smile before she answers again for Vanessa, “She didn’t say anything to you guys because she needed to work out what she wanted first. Isn’t that right, babe?”

“Yes! I needed to get my head straight and sort through the mess that was my confused brain.”

Charity winks at her and Vanessa smiles back. 

“So, are you still into women?” Leyla asks, completely confused by what is going on. “And why have you been so happy this week?”

“Yes, Leyla, I am still very much into women,” Vanessa says. She doesn’t look at Charity, but she knows she has a saucy smile on her face. “And I have been happy because I know for sure what I want. I was unhappy when I was with Jill because my heart knew it wasn’t what I really wanted.”

Tracey gives Vanessa a soft smile. “Sorry I have been banging on about her all week.”

Vanessa squeezes Tracey’s shoulder. “It’s ok.”

“So, are you back on operation find-a-woman?” Rhona asks.

Vanessa smiles at her best friend. “No, not right now. I am just going to take things day by day.”

“Yeah, best way to do it. Take things slowly.”

“Slow is so overrated,” Charity mutters and Vanessa snorts out a laugh. The other women look between the two of them in confusion until Charity says, “Inside Joke.”

Tracey grabs her sister’s hand and pats it in a way she believes comes across as comforting, but Vanessa has always found it slightly patronising. “Don’t worry, V, you will find the woman for you.”

Vanessa’s eyes meet Charity’s across the bar. Charity winks and Vanessa can’t hide her smile. 

“Don’t worry, Trace, I will help her get her happily ever after.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and kudos. Every single one means the world to me.


	9. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature content coming up!  
> There is some smut in this chapter........

**What are you doing right now? xx**

Vanessa smiles as she reads Charity’s text.

**Working. It is quiet though xx**

**Wanna come over here? I really need to see you…..Being slow really is overrated…..If you get my drift…xx**

Vanessa does get what she means. She is desperate to see Charity and take things further too.

**I would love to, but I am the only one here. Rhona and Paddy are out on a call out and I need to stay here. What about tonight? xx**

**It is Chas’s night off and she is having a movie night on the sofa with Paddy. What about your place? xx**

**Tracey and Leyla will both be at home. My dad might be too. xx**

**We need to find a desert island somewhere and run away for a bit xx**

Vanessa groans at the thought. Charity and her. Alone. Naked. On a warm beach. Naked. It honestly sounds like heaven. Unfortunately, they couldn’t go too far. Johnny has a little field trip with the nursery tomorrow and Vanessa is one of the parents down to go. They have to leave at nine. So a night away from the village together would be…….She smiles as she thinks of the perfect place for them to go.

**We do. But until then leave it with me. I think I have a plan. xx**

**God I hope you do. I am dying over here. xx**

Vanessa rolls her eyes and laughs a little. Since last night Charity has been sending her some pretty explicit messages. Vanessa knows for sure that if she hadn’t been eating with Rhona she would have happily had Charity on her living room sofa.

She doesn’t want their first time together to be some quick fumble on the sofa though. She wants it to be special. Really special. And somewhere private where they don’t have to worry about being interrupted or being overheard.

She has a feeling Charity will be quite vocal.

The door to the vets swings open and she lets out an excited squeal when Paddy walks in. Excited to see Paddy? That is definitely a first. “Paddy, I need you!”

Paddy halts in his tracks and stares at her like she has grown a second head. “I…..I……I’m with Chas.”

She pulls a disgusted face. “Not that like! Eww no.”

Now he looks offended. “Oh thanks.”

She puts her hands into the prayer position and gives him her biggest puppy dog eyes. “Can you cover the rest of my shift. And by that I mean can you listen out for the phone and twiddle your thumbs?”

He laughs as he walks through to the treatment room. “I suppose so. Rhona is doing on-call for the rest of the day. So, I will just sit here and twiddle my thumbs.”

Vanessa runs over to him and gives him a big hug. He sputters and watches her with a bemused expression as she runs around the office gathering her things.

“Thanks again, Paddy. You are the best.”

She runs out of the vets and down the little hill. Her plan has taken hold and she knows that she has a limited amount of time to get it sorted. First things first, she needs to sort out Johnny’s child care.  She runs all the way home getting a few strange looks from the villagers she runs past.

She lets out a huge sigh of relief when she sees that Tracey is at home. This is the first step of her plan. Child Care.

“Trace, I need a huge favour. Can you look after Johnny for me tonight?”

Tracey looks up from the magazine she is reading. “Yeah of course. Where are you going?”

Crap. She hadn’t thought about a lie. She is awful at lying too! “Um……I am meeting up with some friends in Leeds. Friends from Uni.”

“Sounds good. Is Rhona going?”

Vanessa shakes her head. “No she doesn’t know them. I used to play netball with them.”

Tracey frowns. “I didn’t know that you used to play netball.”

“What? Yeah, I was really good at it. Have we got any candles?”

Tracey shrugs and turns her attention back to her magazine. “No idea.”

Vanessa chews on her bottom lip as she thinks about the next stage of her plan. She can sort the candles out later. She needs to partake in the next stage first.

“Ok. I need to run back to the vets. I will be back soon. Can you pick Johnny up from nursery for me?”

“Yeah that’s fine,” Tracey mumbles.

“Thanks.”

Vanessa runs back out of the house and back across to the vets. She runs in, making Paddy jump in his seat. She throws him an apologetic smile as she makes her way through the vets and to the door leading to Rhona’s house. She turns she handle and frowns when she door doesn’t open. She tries again and groans when it dawns on her that Rhona has locked the door.

She never locks the door. It is so typical that she has done it today.

“Paddy, do you have the key to Rhona’s house?”

Paddy shakes his head. “Pearl might.”

“Which would be great if she wasn’t in Skegness,” Vanessa replies sharply.

“Why do you need to go in there anyway?”

Vanessa, again, hasn’t thought this excuse through. “I need……Johnny! Johnny left his favourite toy in there and he won’t sleep without it.”

Paddy smiles. “I was like that with my baby doll. I loved her. Apparently, I used to—”

“Lovely, Paddy. Do you know when Rhona is due to be back?”

“No until at least five. She has a few planned appointments at a few farms too. That was rude by the way. I have to listen to you babble on about how you—”

“How do you break into a house?”

Paddy looks flummoxed for a second before he starts to laugh. “You can’t break into her house!”

Vanessa sighs and runs a hand through her hair. “I wasn’t on about….You know what, it doesn’t matter. Thanks for nothing, Paddy.”

Vanessa runs past a very confused looking Paddy and back out into the village. She feels deflated. Really deflated. Her little plan has come apart at the seams already. She is about to call it a defeat and text Charity to tell her she hasn’t got a plan after all when she spots Robert walking past the café.

“Robert! Hi!”

He looks up and gives her a warm smile. She has always liked Robert. They get on well. He can be trouble, she knows that, but he has never done anything to her.

“Hi, Vanessa, how are you?”

“I am good thanks. I need to ask a favour. A weird favour. I may need to borrow your husband.”

Robert raises his eyebrows. “I don’t share.”

First Paddy and now Robert. Is her desperation for a bit of intimacy that obvious?

“Not like that for god sake! I um……It is a little bit illegal. Well, a lot illegal, actually.”

Robert now looks really interested. “Really. Well, do tell.”

 

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Charity checks her phone for the tenth time since she last text Vanessa. God knows what the other woman’s plan is, but she hopes it leads to them getting a few hours alone time. Vanessa has that trip with Johnny’s nursery tomorrow, so she probably won’t want to spend the night anywhere.

Charity doesn’t care where they go or what her plan is. She just wants to be alone with Vanessa. She needs to be alone with Vanessa. The need clawing through her is like nothing she has ever felt before. She is desperate to touch Vanessa. To feel Vanessa’s touch against her skin. She has never wanted anyone this much in her entire life. Maybe it is because they have waited. Charity normally just jumps into bed with whoever has taken her fancy. She has never spent a week driving herself mad with lust by snogging the object of her affections every time she has a had chance. She said they should go slow for Vanessa’s sake. She knows she wants to do this properly. She doesn't want Vanessa to feel like sex was the only thing she is after. She wants Vanessa to know she wants her mind as much as she wants her body.

“You ok?” Chas asks, sneaking up behind Charity.

“I’m fine,” Charity says with a smile. She looks around the pub, making sure there is no one within ear shot before she speaks again, “Vanessa is planning something for the two of us for tonight. I’m just waiting to hear back from her.”

Chas smiles. She is the only one who knows what is going on between the two women. Vanessa knows Chas knows. Charity told her what she said to Chas before she went to Vanessa’s when Jill was there. Vanessa knows Chas gave Charity the push she needed to confront her feelings for Vanessa.

“Sounds exciting. Are you going on a date or something?”

“No. We need some……alone time. She said she is sorting it.”

Chas folds her arms over her chest. “Why can’t you have some alone time here? Moses is with Ross and Noah will spend all evening in his room. Paddy and I can go out for dinner or to see a movie. He has been pestering me to go and see some weird zombie film with him. You two can have the living room all to yourselves.”

“It isn’t the living room we want to ourselves, babe.”

Chas frowns and then smiles when it dawns on her what Charity is saying. “Ohhh…..You want some funky time together.”

Charity pulls a face. “Don’t ever say funky time again. Ok?”

Chas laughs and waves at Bob as he walks into the pub. “Yeah, I don’t think I will.”

Charity’s phone goes off and she jumps to open it.

**Stage two of the plan has come into action. So far it looks like it is all go. Meet me in the playground at seven xx**

**Seven! Babe that is hours away! xx**

**Just do it! xx**

**Bossy! xx**

**You love it! xx**

Charity smirks as she shoves her phone back into her pocket. Yeah she really does.

 

                                             - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Right, are you off to get Johnny yet or what?” Vanessa asks her sister, eager to get her out of the house so she can get started on stage three of her plan.

“Yeah, alright!” Tracey huffs. “I was supposed to be having a relaxing day off you know.”

Vanessa laughs. “Tracey, you haven’t left the house. You only got dressed an hour ago, and you have been slobbing out on the sofa all morning. That sounds pretty relaxing to me.”

Tracey grunts. “Wait, why can’t you get him? You aren’t leaving for ages yet.”

“I want to get my stuff ready for tonight. I am getting ready at my friends, but I want to look through my outfits. I will be leaving about six-ish.”

Tracey grumbles again but doesn’t say anything else as she grabs Vanessa’s car keys. She walks out and Vanessa waits a few seconds before putting the third part of her plan into action. She runs upstairs and into her bedroom. She goes to the closet on the landing and grabs the spare double quilt that is rolled up in there, and a fresh bedsheet.

She then runs to her room and opens up the bottom draw. She grabs one of her trashy romance CD’s, one she is sure Charity is going to love winding her up about, and she throws it onto her bed. She then grabs the quilt, and the bedsheet and runs back down stairs. She goes to the backdoor and lets out a sigh of relief when she sees Robert is stood there waiting.

“Here, thank you,” she says as she shoves the quilt at him. “Just throw them on the sofa. I will do the rest.”

“Ok…..Pillows?”

Vanessa smacks her forehead. “Wait there?”

She runs back upstairs and grabs two of the pillows off her bed. She runs back downstairs and gives them to Robert.

“You going to be ok with all that?”

“Yeah course. Anything else?”

“Um…..Do you happen to have any candles?”

Robert laughs. “We do actually. How many?”

“I dunno. How many is appropriate?”

Robert shrugs. “I have no idea. Candles are Aaron’s thing. Not mine. I will ask him.”

“Thanks Robert. For everything.”

“No sweat. Good luck.”

Vanessa closes the backdoor as Robert leaves. She pulls her phone out of her pocket and looks at the time. Five o-clock. Two hours until she meets Charity and she still has loads left to do. Step four. Food.

 

                                                - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Noah! Dinner is ready!”

Charity walks back into the living room and smiles as she hears her sons footsteps thunder down the stairs. He has always loved his food.

“Thanks, Mum,” he says as he runs to the table.

She’s made him one of his favourites, sausage and mash.

“You’re welcome. I um….I’m going out with Vanessa tonight. I don’t know when I will be back.”

He nods around a mouthful of food.

“Do I look ok?”

He stops chewing and gives his mum the once over. “Yeah. Why? Where are you going?”

“Just out….” Charity looks down at her outfit. She is wearing her grey power suit and she has decided not to change it. Mainly because of the way Vanessa was looking at her whilst she was wearing it the other day, like she wanted to devour her.

“Just out for dinner,” she lies.

Noah loves Vanessa. They get on so well. He really looks up to her. However, Charity isn’t sure how he will react when he finds out that they are together. She can’t see his reaction being all that positive. He will probably mention her track record with relationships and he will be more worried about them losing Vanessa if Charity screws it up.

“Ok. Well yeah you look fine.” He gives her a strange look. “You are going out with Vanessa, right? You’re not going out with some man and using Vanessa as an excuse?”

Charity laughs. “I am definitely not going out with a man. I am done with men.”

He gives her a disbelieving look. “Whatever. Have a good night anyway. Can I play on my PlayStation for a bit tonight?”

Charity crosses her arms over her chest. “Until nine.”

“Half past nine.”

She smirks. He is definitely her son. “No later.”

He gives her a cheerful smile and her heart aches in her chest. She loves him so much. Times like this she is reminded just how lucky she is that he has stuck around. Her phone buzzes and she grabs it off the kitchen table. Her smile is wide as she reads the latest text from Vanessa.

**Everything is in place. I can’t wait to see you! xx**

**Babe you have no idea how excited I am to see you! xx**

And she is, she really is.

 

                                            - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Vanessa takes a deep breath as she sits on the swing and waits for Charity to arrive. It is five minutes to seven and she knows Charity won’t arrive until seven on the dot. Vanessa kicks her legs back and the swing moves with her.nTo say today has been a whirlwind is an understatement. She can’t remember the last time that she told so many lies or ran around as much as she has today. She thinks back to her last lie, which actually cost her a fiver.

Cain bloody Dingle.

She hadn’t thought about what she was going to do with her car. It wasn’t until Tracey said she shouldn’t drink too much because of Johnny’s trip the next day and she was going to have to get up early and drive back, that Vanessa even thought about her car. She panicked and when she was “leaving” for her night out she spotted Cain about to lock up the garage.

She ran over and asked if she could keep her car in there overnight, no questioned asked. He said yes, as long as she gave him a fiver. Whether or not he was joking she doesn’t know, but she threw the fiver at him and then made her way around to the park. Now she is sitting on the swing feeling more and more nervous as the minutes tick by. She knows she shouldn’t be nervous. It is Charity. There is no one in the world she would rather spend the night with than Charity. But, the fact that is it Charity is what is making her nervous.

Charity is one of her best friends about to turn lover. A lover who will probably blow Vanessa’s mind whilst Vanessa is sure she is about to be a fumbling idiot.

“Hey.”

Vanessa jumps off the swing and turns to face Charity. She is wearing her long black coat, but Vanessa can still see the power suit underneath it. She loves that suit. She loves Charity in that suit.

“Hey.”

Charity looks nervous too and that eases Vanessa’s nerves a bit.

“You ready?”

Charity nods. “I am. Although, babe, I hope you are planning on getting it on here. I mean, I love a bit of outside sex myself, but I draw the line at doing it where our sons play.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes and grabs Charity’s hand. Charity’s fingers immediately entwine with hers and Vanessa’s heart flutters. It is like they have been made for each other. Vanessa could honestly kick herself for not seeing it before now. Everything happens for a reason though. Vanessa honestly believes they weren’t supposed to get here until now. She drags Charity out of the park and towards Ross’s old house. She looks around before running up the back path leading to Ross’s house, a little giggle escapes her as she thinks about how naughty she has been today. She can’t wait to see Charity’s reaction when she sees for herself what Vanessa has done.

“Um, why are were coming here?”

Vanessa pulls Charity close as she looks around again to make sure no one can see them.

“This is where we are spending the night.”

“The night?”

Vanessa smiles at the surprise in Charity’s voice.

“Yes, Charity, the night. Come on.” She gives the backdoor and gentle shove and walks in with Charity behind her.

She smiles as she looks at her handiwork. She then turns to see Charity’s reaction. She isn’t disappointed. Charity looks shocked and pleased at the same time. Vanessa looks back around the room to take in her effort all over again. There are candles on the kitchen island and the coffee table Ross left behind. She has placed two pillows she found in a cupboard upstairs by the coffee table for when they eat. She got Brenda to make them both a chicken salad, Charity’s favourite. She took the plastic covering off the sofa, so they have somewhere to sit. There is a bottle of champagne sat in an ice bucket in the middle of the sofa and two glasses lying on the sofa in front of it.

“Ness, this is…….It looks amazing.”

Vanessa smiles. “Thanks. I have had a busy day.”

Charity smiles and pulls the other woman closer to her. “I bet. What did you say to Pete when you asked for the key? Didn’t he think it was weird?”

“Well, I couldn’t get the key. Pete is at a cattle market and Rhona locked up her house. I still can’t believe the landlord hasn’t asked for the key back yet.”

Charity frowns. “So how did you get in here?”

“I had help…..From Robert and Aaron……They helped me break in. Well, we didn’t break anything to get in here. Aaron picked the lock. You Dingles sure do have your uses.”

Charity stares down at Vanessa. Her face is a mixture of shock and amusement. “Seriously?”

“Yep. They also helped me set this place up. They helped me bring the stuff for the bed over and oh, those are Aaron’s candles. We also have a lamp from them upstairs. One that doesn’t need electricity. It is one of Robert’s fancy gadgets.”

Charity looks down at Vanessa with a look Vanessa can’t quite read. It makes her nervous. Nervous that she has somehow screwed up by involving Robert and Aaron.

“I…..Is it ok that they know?”

“I don’t care who knows, babe. I just…….Did you seriously rope my cousins son and his husband to help you break into here. Then make them help you set it all up. And go to all of this effort just to spend the night with me?”

Vanessa nods slowly. “Yes.”

Charity groans before slamming her lips against Vanessa’s. Vanessa lets out a squeak in surprise but returns the kiss with just as much passion.

“Upstairs.”

“What?”

“Upstairs, Vanessa, now.”

Charity barely gives Vanessa time to blow out the candles before she is dragging her up the stairs towards what was Ross’s old room. Charity presses Vanessa into the door as she kisses her again. They stumble slightly and Charity’s hands go to Vanessa’s waist to steady her. Then they move lower to Vanessa’s hips and then around to her backside.

Vanessa moans as Charity squeezes her bottom. A wave of arousal slams into her and she places her hands flat on the door behind her to try and hold herself up.

“I hope you weren’t planning on taking the lead tonight, babe,” Charity says, her lips still clinging to Vanessa’s. “Because if I don’t get you on that bed and naked with my mouth all over you within the next five minutes then I am going to go mad.”

Vanessa can only whimper at Charity’s words.

“Next time though, babe, next time,” Charity whispers huskily before kissing Vanessa again.

Vanessa doesn’t know how it happens but the next thing she knows they’re moving across the bedroom at the speed of light. And then the back of her legs hit the bed. Instead of letting her fall though Charity holds her upright.

Charity is putting her all into their kiss. Her tongue glides against Vanessa’s with a purpose. This is what's to come. Vanessa can’t wait. Charity suddenly pulls away and before Vanessa can protest Charity grips her own coat and shoves it off her shoulders. She then grabs the bottom of Vanessa’s top. She stops before she takes it off, her eyes meeting Vanessa’s silently asking for her permission.

Vanessa nods without hesitation. Charity smiles and pulls Vanessa’s top off in one fluid movement. Then Charity takes her own jacket and her own top off. Vanessa is about to complain, she wanted to do that, but the sight of Charity standing before her, her top half in just her bra, takes the words out of Vanessa’s mouth.

She is so beautiful. God she is beautiful.

“Vanessa….You are…..Perfect.”

Charity’s words awaken something in Vanessa and she all but jumps on the other woman. She places her hands-on Charity’s stomach. Loving the way that the other woman’s muscles twitch underneath her finger tips. Charity moans at the same time she pops the button on Vanessa’s jeans. They separate to take of their own trousers for just a second before their lips meet again.

The next thing Vanessa is aware of is them falling back onto the bed. Charity breaks the fall by putting her hands on either side of Vanessa’s head so she doesn’t land on her. Vanessa looks up at Charity and smiles as she follows Charity’s bra straps down her back, and then across to her bra strap.

Charity smirks as she feels Vanessa unclip her bra. “Taking charge are we, babe?”

“Trying to get things moving!”

Charity laughs. “Oh, babe, your wish is my command.”

Charity whips Vanessa’s bra off before Vanessa even has a chance to realise that was her intention. Charity kisses Vanessa once before moving her attention else where. Vanessa gasps as Charity’s tongue slides over her right nipple before she replaces it with her entire mouth. Vanessa groans and arches upwards. She starts to whimper the harder Charity sucks.

Charity’s hands are everywhere. One hand on her other breast, tweaking her nipple with her fingers, her other sliding down Vanessa’s torso, slowing itching her way towards Vanessa’s underwear. Vanessa feels a rush of cold air as Charity pushes her underwear away from her body. Vanessa eagerly kicks them off and Charity pulls away from Vanessa’s breast as she lets out a laugh.

“Eager, babe?”

Vanessa grins back. “You bet it am.” Vanessa tangles her hands in Charity’s hair and pulls her down for another kiss. She sucks on Charity’s tongue which earns her a moan in response. She learnt pretty quickly how much Charity likes that.

Charity’s hand strokes Vanessa’s hip as she slows down her kisses. She pulls away and looks Vanessa in the eye. The desire shinning in her eyes is clear but so is something else. Uncertainty.

“Are you sure, Ness? Are you sure that this is what you want?”

Vanessa catches Charity’s lips with her own. “I am positive. God, Charity, please. I need you to…..”

Charity doesn’t let Vanessa finish her sentence. She knows what Vanessa needs. Vanessa whimpers as fingertips tease her clit before sliding down to her entrance. Charity gently thrust one finger in, moving it back and forth at a slow pace. A maddeningly slow pace.

“Charity, more, I need more.”

Charity adds another fingers but doesn’t up the pace. She thrusts slow and deep and Vanessa thinks she may lose her mind if she doesn’t up the pace.

“Charity, faster…..I need faster.”

Charity smirks and Vanessa is expecting some snarky response. She doesn’t get one. She does however get what she asked for. Charity thrusts into her, harder and faster than before. Vanessa’s eyes slam shut as pleasure shots through her body, obliterating her senses.

She digs her nails into Charity’s back as Charity curls her fingers, hitting a spot inside Vanessa that no one has ever found before. She lets out a noise she never has before and even Charity moans. Charity thrusts her fingers faster and Vanessa screams out as a surge of pleasure, so strong she thinks she may pass out, shots through her.

Vanessa has never understood the saying ‘seeing stars’ but now she does.

Charity places a series of hot, wet kisses along Vanessa’s chest as the comes down from the most intense orgasm she has ever had in her life.

“Charity, that was….”

Charity looks up at Vanessa and smiles. It isn’t smug. It is a beautiful, happy smile. Vanessa moves her leg between Charity’s thighs. Charity grinds down onto Vanessa’s leg and Vanessa moans when she feels just how wet Charity is. She rolls them over so she is the one on top. In two seconds flat she has Charity’s underwear off.

She looks at Charity in all her naked glory and as she takes in the incredible sight before she knows she has never seen anything as beautiful as Charity lying before her, needy and eager for Vanessa to touch her.

“Ness, you don’t have to—”

Vanessa places her finger on Charity’s lip. “I want to.”

She starts off how Charity did. She finds Charity’s clit and circles it gently. Charity’s back arches and her breathing gets faster and faster as Vanessa’s movement gets faster. It isn’t enough, for either of them. Vanessa slides her fingers down and into Charity.

Charity grips Vanessa’s arms and groans, loud and unabashed. Vanessa loves it. She starts slow but quickly builds the tempo. Loving the effect that she is having on Charity. Desperate for a taste of her own she leans down and takes Charity’s right nipple into her mouth. Charity’s moans get louder the more Vanessa sucks and the harder she thrusts.

In what seems like a matter of minutes Vanessa feels Charity clench around her fingers as she shouts out Vanessa’s name. Vanessa watches in awe as Charity comes undone beneath her. It is one of the most beautiful things Vanessa has ever seen. She knows she is already addicted to the sight of Charity Dingle in the mist of an orgasm.

Yeah, they are definitely going to be doing this again tonight……A lot.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and kudos. I am overwhelmed <3


	10. Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of a filler chapter. Mature content. Nothing exciting happens, just a bit of fun :)

                   _Present Day_

Charity takes a sip of her coffee as she looks around the pub. The last month has been crazy. The pub has gotten busier with all the walking tours that keep coming in. They now have a darts team, so every other Monday night the pub is packed out with locals and players and patrons from the opposing team. The lunch menu has improved so they are always busier around lunch. Noah decided to join more after school clubs, so she constantly seems to be going to school to pick him up. Moses has developed a bit of an attitude as of late. She can’t decide if he gets it from her or Ross. Probably a bit of both if she is being honest.

The best thing that has happened though, without a shadow of a doubt, is Vanessa. They have now been sleeping together for a month and Charity can’t honestly remember craving anyone the way she craves Vanessa.

Vanessa’s kiss.

Vanessa’s touch.

Vanessa’s taste.

Sneaking around has been rather fun and exciting. Not that their sex life needs to be anymore exciting. God that woman is incredible in bed. If she’d have known before now that Vanessa posses some wicked skills in between the sheets she would have started dating her when she came to the village all those years ago.

She leans against the bar and takes another sip of her drink. They have nearly been caught a few times though. Neither one has approached the issue of when they should tell people what is going on between them. For now, Charity is happy with how things are. She doesn’t want to share this with anyone else yet. She likes that it is only between them at the moment.

And she does love the added rush they get when they sneak around. Not just when they have sex but when they get a stolen moment together. She grins as she thinks back on some of her favourite moments so far……..

                                

                                    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Charity, please!”

“Please what, Vanessa. What do you want?”

Vanessa grasps the back of Charity’s head as she bites down on Vanessa’s nipple through her bra. The pleasure pain combo is exquisite, and Vanessa wishes they were in her room, not the treatment room at the vets, so she could show Charity just how much she likes it.

“Do something with your hands.”

Charity laughs against Vanessa’s breast. “What do you want me to do with my hands, Ness?”

Vanessa groans and covers her face with her hands. Dirty talk doesn’t come as easily to her as it does to Charity. She spent her entire adult life going through the motions when it came to sex. And whilst she enjoyed the sex she had she could never bring herself to demand things from her lovers.

Unlike Charity who is bossier in bed than she is out of it. If that is even possible. Not that Vanessa is complaining. She loves it.

“You know, that thing I like.”

Charity raises her head and smirks. “This?”

She tickles Vanessa and Vanessa squirms to get away from her. “No! Not that…..The other thing.”

Charity sighs and then laughs. “Babe, is it really that hard to ask me to shove my hands down your pants?”

Vanessa gasps. “That…..I…….Please?”

Charity laughs and kisses Vanessa. Softly at first, but before long the kiss turns deep and dirty and has Vanessa’s whole body shaking with desire. Vanessa smiles against Charity’s lip when she feels Charity pop open the button on her trousers. She is about to encourage Charity to slip her hand between the waistband of her trousers when the door to the vets swings open.

“Vanessa?”

Vanessa gasps and shoves Charity off her. Charity stumbles back into medicine cabinet and winces as the padlock digs into the shoulder.

“Hello?”

“Crap! It’s Rhona!”

Charity rolls her eyes. “Yes, I know what Rhona sounds like, babe.”

“What are we going to do?”

“I suggest you do your top up and I will go and distract her.”

Thank god they shut the door between the treatment room and the reception Charity thinks as she makes her way to the double doors separating them from Vanessa best friend.

“Just a minute,” Vanessa calls out.

“Ness, are you ok?”

Charity gives Vanessa a saucy wink. “You were about to be real good, weren’t you, babe.”

Vanessa scowls at Charity as she tries to do the buttons up on her top. “Go deal with her.”

Charity laughs and pushes open one half of the double doors, making sure Vanessa is out of view. “Hey, Rhona.”

Rhona frowns. “Charity, what are you doing here? Why was the door shut?”

Charity shrugs. “I have no idea about the door. I came here to see if Vanessa fancies taking the boys out on a play date tomorrow.”

Rhona nods. “Ok……”

The door swings open as Vanessa joins them. She gives Rhona a big smile as she pats down her hair.

“Rhona, hey, is everything ok?”

“Yeah…..I saw the light was still on. I thought you would have gone home by now.”

“Oh…yeah….well I….”

“I came over and we got talking. I distracted her. We even had a cuppa, didn’t we babe.”

“What…Uh, yeah, we did.”

Rhona frowns. “What was with all the banging?”

Charity lets out a little laugh and Vanessa nudges her.

“I fell.”

“I tripped.”

They both say at the same time. Rhona looks at them like they have both grown a second head. “What?”

“I tripped causing Vanessa to fall,” Charity says. Using her god given lying skills.

“Right…….Anyway, I’ve come back to grab some more syringes. Mr Blackstone thinks half his herd have the infection now.”

“Oh no,” Vanessa says sadly.

“Well, as intrigued as I am by all this infection talk, I need to get back to the pub. Playdate tomorrow?”

Vanessa’s beaming smile is all the answer she needs.

 

                                    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“I can’t believe we just did that.”

Charity gives Vanessa a smug grin as she does up her trousers. “It was your idea, babe.”

“No it wasn’t!”

“I clearly remember you saying, ‘Charity, I need you to take me right now,” Charity says, mocking Vanessa’s accent.

Vanessa gives Charity a glare with no force behind it. Her eyes are still swimming with pleasure, and so they should be from the two incredible orgasms Charity has just given her.

“I never said that.”

Charity laughs. “It was something along those lines, babe.”

Vanessa runs her hands through her hair. “What is wrong with us? Why can’t we be alone for five minutes without ripping each other clothes off?”

Charity shoves her foot back into her shoe. “It’s called passion, babe.” Charity looks over at Vanessa and frowns. “You must have experienced it before?”

Vanessa shakes her head. “No….Not really.”

“Ness, you’ve had loads of sex with loads of different people.”

“I would prefer you to say, ‘a variety of people’. Sounds better.”

Charity tuts and rolls her eyes. “Even so, surely you have been with someone you fancied the pants off?”

“Not really. Charity, I have always been more attracted to women.”

“But every time I saw you with Kevin—”

“Kirin….” Vanessa says, rolling her eyes. Charity is getting his name wrong on purpose now.

“Kirin.....you were always all over him.”

“I loved him and I found him attractive, but not in the same way I do you. I have never been this attracted to anyone. It is crazy.”

Charity holds her arms out. “Who can blame you though, babe. Look at me.”

Vanessa laughs and runs her finger down Charity’s nose. “Modest.”

Charity winks. Having a bunk up in a layby in the middle of nowhere isn’t perfect. Especially in the back of Vanessa’s car. But what just happened between them was perfect. Not only was the sex was getting better and better but the bond between them was strengthening. They were being more open and honest than they have ever been before.

“You know me, babe. Never one to deny the truth.”

Vanessa smiles softly and cups Charity’s face in her hands. “We need to book ourselves a hotel room for the night. The night at Ross’s old place was amazing because it was just us. No having to be quiet. No rushing out after we’ve finished because we are lying about where we are.”

Charity kissed Vanessa’s palm. “That sounds perfect, but where will we say we are going?”

“I…….I…….I haven’t thought about that. Girly night away?”

“Then Leyla, Rhona and Tracey would want to come with us.”

“Um…….I don’t actually think anyone would notice if we both went away, right? I mean, Chas knows about us so she could cover for you. I could say I have a conference.”

Charity narrows her eyes. “Should I be worried at how quickly you can come up with a lie?”

Vanessa snorts. “I’m not angel, Charity. I have told plenty of lies in my time. Although, most are pretty rubbish.”

Charity grins. “Tell me one. Tell me the biggest lie you have ever told?”

“Ok……..I used to tell this lie every Thursday when I first got here. I lived with Rhona and Paddy right.”

“Yeah…..”

“And on a Thursday Paddy used to make a Beef Stew. I…..Well, it was awful, but I used to scoff it down and tell him I loved it. He used to make extra for me to have the next day for lunch too.”

Charity lets out a long, loud laugh. “Vanessa, you are just…….The nicest person on this planet.”

“I wasn’t doing it because I was nice. Paddy and I didn’t get on that well at first and I thought he would chuck me out.”

Charity giggles. “I doubt he would have gone that far, babe. Remind me to get the recipe from him though yeah. I love a good stew.”

 

 

                                    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_Present Day_

Vanessa clicks her pen over and over again as she watches the hands on the click slowly make their way around the clock. One hour and she is out of here and supposedly on her way to a conference in Bradford. Bradford is only a forty-minute drive away, but everyone brought the excuse that she was off to a conference and wanted to stay overnight to avoid the morning rush.

Truth is she is having a night away with Charity. They have been sleeping together for a month now and only twice have they managed to spend the night together where they didn’t have to worry about being overheard. The first being their first night together and the second was a night when Chas and Paddy went away for the night and Noah was at a school camp out.

She honestly can’t wait. She is dying to get some proper alone time with Charity. Alone time that isn’t rushed or hushed. She wants to be able to lie in Charity’s arm after they have made love. She wants to be able to take her time. She still feels like she has so much of Charity’s body to explore, even though she feels like she has kissed and touched every delicious inch of it.

They have had some incredible quickies though. And she loves how spontaneous they have to be at times. They literally can’t plan on getting any alone time. Every time they have planned to see each other something else has happened that has needed their attention a bit more. Vanessa glances up at the clock and lets out a frustrated sigh. Fifty-five minutes to go until she gets out of the vets.

She sits back in her chair and closes her eyes. This last hour is going to drag. Her mind quickly drifts to the night ahead. They are going to have so much fun. She smiles as she thinks back on some of the fun they’ve had during the past month.

 

 

                            - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Vanessa……that…..was…….incredible……”

Vanessa kisses the inside of Charity’s right thigh. Thigh’s that are still quivering as they struggle to hold Charity up. Vanessa slowly makes her way back up Charity’s body, kissing a path as she goes. She stands up and smiles at the faraway look in Charity’s eyes. She always has this look after she’s climaxed. Vanessa loves it. Vanessa loves knowing she put that look there.

“Jesus, Ness, I can’t believe…..I mean……Where did you learn to do that?”

Vanessa watches a trail of water run down Charity’s chest. “Do what?”

Charity waves her hand in the air in a circular motion as she rests her body weight against the shower wall behind her. “That thing…..with your tongue…..”

Vanessa kisses Charity’s shoulder. “I may or may not have got some tips from an online forum. It is amazing how many different things you can do with your tongue.”

Charity groans and grips Vanessa’s head in her hands. She runs her fingers through her wet hair as she looks down at the smaller woman. “Give me a bit of warning next time, yeah?”

Vanessa laughs. “Where’s the fun in that?”

She captures Charity’s lips in a fierce kiss. She can’t get enough of Charity. The way she kisses is one of Vanessa’s new favourite things about her. Charity can convey how she is feeling with a kiss. If she is turned on. If she is upset. If she is angry. If she is being soft.

Charity’s hands move from Vanessa’s hair to her back. They slowly itch lower until she is cupping Vanessa’s backside in her strong hands.

“Cheeky,” Vanessa says, then bursts out laughing. “No pun intended.”

Charity laughs and is about to say something when there is a knock on the bathroom door.

“V, are you in there? I really need a wee!”

Vanessa’s eyes widen as she looks at Charity. Panic fills her. She eventually wants to tell everyone what is happening between Charity and herself. However, she doesn’t want anyone to find out like this.

“V?”

“What do we do?”

“Let her come in,” Charity whispers. “She can’t see through the shower curtain, it’s fine.”

“You sure?”

Charity nods.

“Yeah…um…sorry, Trace, come in.”

The door swings open as Tracey runs in. “Sorry about this. I will sing so you can’t hear me pee.”

With that she starts to sing a Spice Girls song very loudly and very out of tune. Charity snorts out a laugh and Vanessa covers Charity’s mouth with her hand, fighting back a giggle of her own. Charity bites the palm of Vanessa’s hand and Vanessa lets out a little yelp.

“You ok, V?”

“I’m fine. I just….stubbed my toe.”

“Silly.”

Tracey carries on singing and Charity’s shoulders are shaking as she laughs behind Vanessa’s hand. Vanessa knows the only way to stop her laughing is to distract her, so she does just that. She starts kissing her, slowly and softly, in the way that makes Charity’s legs weak.

Charity’s grip on Vanessa’s backside tightens and she pulls Vanessa’s body firmly against her own. Vanessa lets out a little moan as Charity’s right hand somehow finds its away between Vanessa’s legs. Vanessa pulls away and shakes her head as Charity raises her eyebrow.

“V…..Can I ask you something?”

Is she really still peeing?

“Um….sure?”

“Do you think I should dye my hair brown again?”

Vanessa brain is trying to think that through whilst her body is trying to ignore Charity’s wandering fingers.

“Um….again?”

Charity licks a path down Vanessa’s neck, following a trail of water. Vanessa automatically tilts her head back allowing Charity more access.

“Yeah,” Tracey says as she flushes the toilet. “I had it dyed brown when I was a teenager. I think it gave me more confidence.”

Charity sucks on Vanessa’s pulse point as her fingers start their exploration. Vanessa whimpers. This is so naughty. Naughtier than anything she has ever done. And maybe a tad wrong. She tries to focus on what her sister is saying, she really does.

“And I feel like I need a change. You know the old saying, new hair new……Well, I can’t quite remember it, but I know there’s a saying.”

Charity laughs against Vanessa’s neck.

“Tracey, I think you need to do what is best for you,” Vanessa says in a rush, not trusting her voice to rise an octave or two in response to Charity’s continuing torture of pleasure on her body.

“Thanks, V. Leyla thinks it is a stupid idea. I knew you would support me.”

Vanessa smiles, even though her sister can’t see her. She places her hand on Charity’s wrist, asking her to stop. She needs to get rid of her sister and she won’t be able to speak long enough to do that if Charity carries on.

“Always. Can you do me a favour. Can you get Johnny from Pearl’s and take him to the park? I will meet you there and we can then go and get something to eat from the café?”

“Of course.”

They wait in silence until they hear the door open and closes behind Tracey. The second the door closes they both burst into laughter.

“I can’t believe that she sat there singing like that,” Charity says, her mouth still against Vanessa’s neck.

“I can’t believe you started……you know.”

Charity bites down on the tendon in Vanessa’s neck, making the smaller woman’s legs buckle. “You loved it. Face it, babe, you are just as devious as me.”

Vanessa laughs as her hand slides back down to Charity’s wrist. “I will never admit that. Not publicly anyway.” She gives Charity’s hand the encouragement it needs to carry on its earlier ministrations. “But please, carry on.”

 

                                   - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“They’re all home! I thought they were going to be out?” Vanessa whispers furiously as she listens to her fellow housemates laughing and joking downstairs.

“Don’t worry, babe. I will just climb out of the bedroom window and shimmy down the drainpipe.”

Vanessa sighs in relief. “Will you?”

“Hell no! I’m not breaking my leg by falling out of your window like a teenage boy.”

“What do we do then?”

“I walk downstairs like a normal person would. I reluctantly say hello. Then I walk out of the front door. Like a normal person would.”

“No!”

“No?”

“No…..They will know something is going on. Tracey can read me like a book. She asked me if I had…..you know…..got a new toy the other day because apparently I have a glow about me.”

Charity rolls her eyes. “Tell her it’s a new foundation or moisturiser or something.”

Vanessa scowls. “I tried that.”

Charity sighs. “This is ridiculous, Vanessa. We are adults. We can do what we like with who we like.”

“I know that. I really do. But if they see you walk downstairs after me, they are going to start asking questions.”

“Why?”

“Because how often do come up to my room.”

Charity wiggles her eyebrows. “More often than they could imagine.”

Vanessa growls and slams her hands against her head. She starts muttering to herself before her eyes open and she looks at Charity like she has the best idea. Which means it probably isn’t anywhere need a good idea.

“I will distract them, and you can come down the stairs. Quietly.”

“I’m hardly going to run down the stairs like a herd of elephants am I!”

Vanessa wouldn’t be surprised if she did, just to prove a point. “Right, follow me out of the room and wait at the top of the stairs. I will clap my hands to signal that you can come down. Ok?”

Charity nods and walks towards Vanessa. She grabs the collar of her shirt. “Thanks for this afternoon, babe. Very enjoyable.” She kisses Vanessa softly before pulling away and resting her forehead against Vanessa’s. “We need a night away pronto.”

Vanessa nods in agreement. “I will sort it. Don’t you worry. Right, let’s do this.”

Vanessa slowly opens her bedroom door and looks out to make sure the coast is clear. She gives Charity a weird hand signal that Charity doesn’t understand, before making her way down the stairs. She runs down the stairs, scaring Tracey and Leyla who clearly had no idea she was in the house.

Thank god. They must have come home after her and Charity finished their afternoon roll in the hay. They would have heard them if they’d come home earlier, that’s for sure.

“Hey!”

“Hey, Teeny, I didn’t realise you were home.”

“I was asleep. I didn’t sleep well last night. I…..Can everyone come over here for me a second?” she asks, walking over to the cooker.

All three follow her with a look of confusion on their faces.

“What’s wrong, V?”

“I…….I think I saw a mouse dropping in the cupboard. Can you look?”

Leyla starts walking backwards. “No way! If there is a creature in there it might jump out and bite me.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes. “It won’t.”

“I’m with, Leyla. I’m not looking.”

Vanessa chews anxiously on her bottom lip. “Ok…..then how about we……Go outside and have a nice bottle of wine?”

Leyla shakes her head. “It’s just been raining……..Are you ok?”

Frank places his hand on her forehead.

“I’m fine. Honestly, I am fine. I……the guttering! Did you see the state of the guttering?”

Tracey laughs nervously. “V, have you hit your head or something?”

Vanessa rubs her temples. She is a rubbish liar. Charity is just going to have to stay hidden away in her bedroom for the night…….not that that’s a bad thing. “No, I haven’t. I’m not feeling too good thought still. I might go back to bed.”

“I’ll grab Johnny for you,” Frank says. “I’ll take him out for some dinner.”

“That sounds nice,” Tracey says. “I might come with you.”

Leyla sighs. “I’m off for a meeting with some clients and Megan soon.”

“So….you’ll all be leaving the house then?”

Frank nods. “In about an hour or so yes. So, you go back to bed for a bit and if you are still awake when we are gone you can come down and crash out on the sofa for a bit. I will make you some of my famous chicken soup when I get home.”

Vanessa forces out a smile. The only thing famous about her dad’s soup is how bad it is.”

She gets a bottle of water from the fridge, for authenticity, and walks back up the stairs. She stops outside her room and takes a deep breath. Charity is going to be annoyed. She probably has places she needs to be this afternoon. She is always busy with work or a family drama to be dealing with. Vanessa doesn’t know how she does it. Just hearing about Charity’s days is enough to make Vanessa feel exhausted.

She pushes open her bedroom door and gingerly sticks her head inside. To her surprise Charity is sat on the bed, not scowling, but laughing. Hysterically laughing into a pillow.

“What’s so funny?” she whispers as she closes the door behind her.

“Mouse droppings, a drink in the rain, and the guttering?”

Vanessa drops her bottle of water in the bed as she huffs. “I’m not as good at lying as you are. What would you have done?”

“Just asked if they fancied going to the pub for a quick drink. With that lot it will always work.”

Vanessa could kick herself. Why didn’t she think of that.

“What were you hopping they would do by the way when you said about the mouse droppings?”

“All bend down and look in the cupboard,” Vanessa says weakly as she realises just how naff an idea that was.

Charity grips Vanessa hips and pulls her other woman until she is stood between Charity’s legs. Vanessa tucks Charity’s hair behind her ears and gives her a sad smile. “I’m sorry. You probably have a million and one—”

Charity stops Vanessa’s rambling by placing a finger against her lips. “I am right where I want to be. Another hour stuck in here with you sounds like heaven.”

Vanessa’s heart beats faster as she looks down at the beautiful, funny woman sat on her bed. How did she get so lucky?

“Well, it doesn’t exactly sound like a hardship, does it?”

Charity grins and places a soft kiss against Vanessa’s jumper covered stomach. “No hardship at it. The only question is, what shall we do to pass the time?”

Vanessa raises her eyebrows. “I can think of a few things.”

 

                                           - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Vanessa smiles at the clock strikes five. Time for her to go. “Rhona, I’m off!”

Rhona walks out of the treatment room still in her green coat. She has just finished an emergency operation on a poor dog that was hit by a car. “Ok.”

“Is Dingo going to be ok”

“He will be fine. Thankfully. He is a very lucky boy. Do you not fancy going for a drink before you leave?”

Vanessa makes out like she is thinking about it before she answers. “No, I better get there. The room has the most amazing bath, and I can’t wait to use it uninterrupted.”

“Ah, yes, the joys of having a bath without a child in the house.”

“Oh, it’s not Johnny that’s the problem. It’s Leyla and Tracey. They never leave me alone.”

Rhona laughs. “Text me when you get there.”

“I will. See you later.”

Vanessa grabs her handbag and her jacket and throws them over her arm. She gives Rhona a wave before she leaves the surgery. She walks to her car which she has parked on the drive for a change. She unlocks it and walks around to the boot. She is about to open the boot when she catches sight of a lock of blonde hair hiding behind the side of her car.

“Charity?”

Charity jumps and nearly drops her phone in the process. She gives Vanessa a big smile. “Hey, babe.”

Vanessa laughs. “What are you doing? I thought I was picking you up from outside of the village.”

“I couldn’t be bothered to walk could I.” Charity hands Vanessa her overnight bag whilst staying in a crouched position.  Vanessa grabs Charity’s bag and throws it into the boot alongside her own. They climb into the car and Vanessa backs off the driveway.

They sit in a comfortable silence until Vanessa drives them clear of the village. Charity places her hand on Vanessa’s thigh and gives it a gentle squeeze. “Thanks for sorting this out, babe.”

Vanessa smiles. “You are very welcome. But, you can plan on showing me how thankful you are when we get to the hotel.”

Charity gives Vanessa her favourite saucy grin. “Don’t worry, babe, I’m planning on doing just that.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the wonderful comments and the kudos. They all mean the world.


	11. Eleven

Charity blinks and opens her eyes slowly. She looks at the alarm clock and lets out a sigh, six-am. She has another half an hour before she has to get it up meet the dray man. Which is a good thing. She is way too cosy and warm with Vanessa tucked up against her side, breathing all over her neck as she gently snores. Charity has never been much of a cuddler in bed, but that changed the second she took Vanessa Woodfield to bed. Vanessa is a cuddler, which isn’t much of a surprise to Charity. 

Vanessa murmurs in her sleep and Charity feels wet lips brush against her throat. It sends a pleasant tingle all the way down to her toes. She waits a few seconds before she feels Vanessa still against her. She smiles and kisses the top of the other woman’s head. She closes her eyes and lets out a dreamy smile as she realises for the hundredth time since she and Vanessa first slept together just how happy she is. 

That first night was magical. Charity has never experienced anything like it. Vanessa is an eager lover. Eager to please and eager to try new things. Loads of new things. Things Charity has never done that’s for sure. They haven’t been able to keep their hands off each other since that first night. Unfortunately, their time together has been mostly quickies. Well, not unfortunately because Charity wouldn’t trade those stolen moments for the world.  Their quickies are hot, passionate and loud. They often have them in the cellar or in the backroom of the pub. Paddy nearly caught them once which Vanessa found hilarious. They’ve been out in their cars a few times. Mainly Charity’s. Vanessa’s car isn’t ideal for coping off on the back seat. 

And the vets.....but the animals watching them kind of freaks her out. 

But Charity wants more of this. More of Vanessa staying over without having to make out it was for Johnny and Moses’s sake because they want a sleep over. She doesn’t want to have to keep denying herself the privilege of giving Vanessa a hello kiss when she comes into the pub or a goodbye kiss when she leaves.

Tracey and Leyla are still going on about getting Vanessa a girlfriend and she has to bite her tongue every time they talk about it. She wants to scream in their face that Vanessa has her and Vanessa is happy. Very happy. Vanessa hasn’t broached the subject of them telling their family and friends yet, and she isn’t sure if she even wants to. Vanessa has got very good at lying and making up excuses. Charity knows though that Vanessa hates lying, so deep down she knows Vanessa probably wants people to know what is going on between them as much as she does. And Vanessa is a naff liar. The 'there is mouse droppings under the fridge' has got to be Charity's favourite.

Charity gently lifts the covers and looks at all the naked skin on show. They look amazing tangled up together. The few times they have been able to they have always fallen asleep with their legs tangled up, arms wrapped around each other, as if being apart even in their sleep is just too much to bare. 

“What are you doing?” Vanessa mumbles.

Charity feels a blush tinge her cheeks. “Umm…..just looking at you.”

Vanessa gives her a sleepy smile. “Didn’t you look enough last night?”

Charity smiles back as Vanessa’s eyes open and look deep into Charity’s. She is make-up free, her hair is a mess, and her lips are still swollen from Charity’s kisses. She is the sexiest woman Charity has ever seen. 

“It will never be enough, babe. I can’t get enough of you. Or looking at you.”

Charity already knew what a great figure Vanessa had, but seeing her without her clothes on was a sight to behold. She is perfect. Absolutely perfect. 

“It is……it is amazing, isn’t it?”

Vanessa frowns as she stretches her free arm above her head. “What is?”

“Us…This…..It is perfect.”

Vanessa smiles softly. “I think so. I would have thought saying something like that would scare you though.”

Charity laughs and kisses Vanessa nose. She knows her too well. “It does. But it doesn’t, if that makes sense. We have been at this for a month now, and—”

“We have been at this……very romantic, Charity.”

Charity smirks but carries on. “Like I was saying, we have been……sexing it up for a month now,” she says, stopping when Vanessa barks out a laugh. 

“I am not sure that is any better to be honest.”

“Give a girl a break, babe.”

Vanessa kisses Charity’s shoulder. “Sorry.”

“Anyway……I have been thinking. Do you think we should maybe tell people?”

Vanessa leans up onto her elbow. “Tell people we are sexing it up?”

Charity rolls her eyes then smiles nervously. “Yeah. I mean, I am sick of sneaking around. I like having you stay over. I like being able to fall asleep next to you after some phenomenal sex.”

Vanessa gives Charity a smug grin. “It is pretty amazing.”

Charity runs her fingers through Vanessa’s tangled hair, momentarily thinking back to when her fingers were tangled in the blonde locks last night as she guided Vanessa’s mouth down to where she really needed her. 

“So, you want to tell people about us?” Vanessa asks, breaking Charity out of her little trip down sexual memory lane. 

“Yeah…..If you want to.”

Vanessa sighs and her shoulders drop in what looks like relief. “Yes! God yes! I am sick of sneaking around. And my back is still playing up from the quickie in my car last week.”

“Then tell the world we shall,” Charity says in what she hopes is a posh voice. 

Vanessa laughs but sobers quickly. “What are we going to say is going on between us?”

“Um…..seeing each other. Seeing how it goes before we apply any labels onto it?”

Vanessa nods slowly as she thinks about what Charity has just said. “Sounds good to me.”

Charity runs her hand down Vanessa’s back. The muscles twitch under her hand and she smiles at the affect her touch as on Vanessa. She doesn’t stop until she reaches Vanessa’s backside. She gives the supple flesh a squeeze and Vanessa presses her body into Charity’s.

“Have we got time?” Vanessa asks, the arousal coursing through her causing her voice to drop an octave. 

Charity nips at Vanessa’s bottom lip. “We always have time. Always.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She thought about telling Rhona first. Then decided she should tell her Dad first. Then she decided to just invite Rhona, Leo, Pete and her Dad around to hers to tell them all, including Leyla and Tracey, together. She is nervous, which is ridiculous, she thinks as she checks on the lasagne before making sure the table is all set. She is a grown woman. She can see who she likes. 

And likes Charity she does. So much. Much more than she will ever admit to anyone, let alone Charity. She sees how skittish Charity can be when it comes to any mention of the commitment or love word. Last week after a strenuous bout of sex Vanessa had simply said ‘I love it when you do that’, and Charity had tensed up the second Vanessa said the word ‘love’. Yes, she may have hinted that her feelings for Vanessa were stronger than a simple ‘I really like you’ and Vanessa has hinted the same thing, but Charity is no where near ready for big declarations or any real form of commitment. 

Vanessa knows how many times Charity has had her heart broken. She gets why Charity is reluctant to let people in. Vanessa knows how lucky she is that Charity has opened herself up to her as much as she has. Vanessa is the first person Charity has told a lot of her secrets too. Even so, going from friends, to lovers, to more is a big step. Especially for someone like Charity, who has such a negative outlook on love and relationships. 

She wonders how Charity is getting on. She is telling the kids tonight. Vanessa is ninety percent positive they will be happy about it, or at least not be overly that bothered. She really hopes they don’t have a negative reaction to it. Charity won’t care what Vanessa’s lot think about it, and truth be told neither does Vanessa, but she dreads to think how Charity will feel and what she will do if her kids don’t like the idea of them seeing each other. She is trying so hard to be a better mum to her kids. If they disapprove Vanessa worries that she will call it a day between them. 

“What are we having then, V?” Tracey asks as she walks down the stairs holding Johnny. He is already in his PJ’s. Vanessa is hoping she can sneak off to the pub after she has told them and put Johnny to bed. Well, she won’t have to sneak. She can say with pride that she is off to see Charity. 

“Lasagne.”

“Sounds good,” Tracey says as she puts Johnny down by the sofa. “Who else is coming?”

“Rhona, Leo, Pete, and Dad.”

Tracey gives Vanessa a strange look. “What is with the big gathering?”

Vanessa rolls her eyes. “I have told you already. I have something I want to tell you all.”

Tracey frowns. “You….you’re not sick, are you?”

“No I am not sick.” Vanessa grabs a bottle of wine from the fridge. “Crack this open. They will be here soon.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Are you sick?”

“No.”

“Are you getting arrested for something?”

“No.”

“Are you about to do something you shouldn’t?”

“No.”

“Has someone died?”

“No!”

“Are you getting married?”

“No, Noah! None of those things.”

Her son huffs. “I don’t see what is so important then and why you have gathered us all here like this. I want to go out and play footie with Samson and Jacob.”

“And you can do, once I have told you my news.”

Debbie narrows her eyes at her mum. “You’ve done something you shouldn’t, haven’t you?”

“No!”

“Do we have another sibling we don’t know about?” Ryan asks with a laugh.

“God no! I have only ever had four kids I swear!”

Noah laughs. “You told us you’d only ever had three.”

Charity rolls her eyes. “If you let me get a word in edgeways then I might actually be able to tell you!”

“We are moving, aren’t we?”

Charity feels like throwing something at Noah. He hasn’t shut up since he got downstairs. Whilst she normally would love him to do more than grunt at her right now she wishes he would just grunt at her. Why has he chosen now to remember he has a voice?

“No. We are not moving.”

“Then what is it then?”

“Noah, just shut up and let her speak,” Debbie says, also getting annoyed with her little brother. 

“I….I am seeing someone.”

“A married man,” Noah says loudly.

“An old man,” Ryan says.

“A rich man,” Debbie says.

“No……Not a man.”

“All of those suggestions with woman in front of them,” Ryan says cheekily. He hasn’t been in her life that long but Debbie, Noah and half the village have happily informed him of Charity’s past. Including all her failed marriages and weddings. 

“No……She isn’t rich, or old or married. She…..You know her.”

Debbie frowns. “We do?”

“Yes. It’s—”

“Vanessa,” Ryan says proudly, as if he has won a prize by giving the right answer.

Charity looks at him in shock. “How……How do you know?” She swears to god if he says ‘I have seen the way you look at each other, or, it has been obvious for ages how you two feel about each other’ she is going to scream. 

“I came to see you last week. I walked through the bar and Vic said you were back here with Vanessa. The door was shut and I was about to open it but…..Well, I heard a few noises that suggested I shouldn’t. And I heard you say Vanessa. Very, very loudly. If you get my drift.”

Debbie visibly shudders, and Noah just stares at his mother. Charity shuffles nervously on her chair. She looks over at her three children sat on the sofa as she tries to gage their reactions. Ryan doesn’t look bothered. Debbie looks like she wants to throw up, but Charity hopes that is because of what Ryan has just said, and Noah is still just staring at her with an blank expression on his face.

“Yes….I am seeing Vanessa.”

“Since when?” Noah asks, his voice is too devoid of emotion. 

“A month.”

“How did it start?” Noah asks again. 

Charity sighs and tells her kids everything. From Vanessa staring her dating profile to their first time together (not in any detail) and everything in between. By the time she has finished Ryan is smiling, Debbie’s expression has softened and Noah just looks…..he looks defeated. 

“Noah…..Are you ok with this?” Charity asks. He loves Vanessa and she was sure he would be ecstatic at the thought of them seeing each other. 

“I…..I love Vanessa, Mum.”

“I know you do.”

“And I don’t want to lose her. If this goes south between the two of you, we will all lose her.”

“I promise you Noah you won’t. Vanessa and I have already spoken about this. She loves you, all of you, if she and I don’t work out she will still want to see you guys.”

Her heart had melted when Vanessa had said that. She adores Charity’s kids, especially Noah and Moses who she spends most of her time with. She said she wouldn’t want to lose them from her life either. It might be awkward at first if they did end up not seeing each other anymore, but they could make a friendship work for the sake of the kids. 

“I will still want to see Johnny, too. We have thought about that.”

“Is it serious?” Debbie asks. 

“I…..At the moment we are just taking things slow. We haven’t labelled what we are yet. We are just….enjoying each other.”

Ryan pulls a face. “Thanks for the reminder.”

Noah snorts out a laugh. “Gross.”

Debbie smiles. “You like her a lot though?”

“I am crazy about her, Debs. Honestly I am. But like I said we are taking it slow. It is hard going from friends to more than friends, and I have been burnt so many times in the past. At the moment it is working brilliantly though and I am…..Well, I am happy.”

Debbie gives her mum another rare smile. “Then I am happy for you. We all are, aren’t we boys?”

Ryan and Noah nod.

“Just try not to mess it up, Mum,” Noah says sternly. Out of all her kids he has suffered the most through her failed relationships, but she knows if this one fails it will hurt him the most.

“I will try not to. Believe me I am going to try not to mess this up, with everything I have.”

He smiles and jumps up. “Right, I am off to play footie.”

Debbie stands as well. “I am going to get the kids from Diane.”

“And I’m going to get a drink,” Ryan says as he stands as well. 

They all leave, and Charity lets out a huge sigh of relief. That went a hell of a lot better than she thought it would. She stands up and starts to make her way out to the bar to carry on her shift. As she does, she wonders how Vanessa is getting on. She grimaces as she thinks about it. Vanessa isn’t going to have as easy a time of it as she did. That’s for sure.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Ness, I need to talk to you about something,” Rhona says as she helps Vanessa dry up the last of their dishes.

“Can I talk to you guys first?”

Rhona nods. “Sure. But I really do need to talk to you. Tomorrow morning at work would probably be the best time actually.”

Vanessa gives her friend a smile. “Are you going to chuck me out of the business?”

Rhona gives Vanessa a tight smile. “Course not.”

Rhona’s reaction has Vanessa curious, but she needs to get her own news out first. If she doesn’t she will bottle it. She has already backed out of telling them a few times whist they were eating. Every time she went to tell them the words seemed to get stuck in her throat. 

The extra glass of wine she has just downed has seemed to calm her nerves a bit. She knows it is now or never. She just got a text from Charity saying the kids are fine with it. So she needs to grow a pair and tell her lot. Now. 

She waits for Rhona to sit down before she re-joins them all on the sofas. She stands in front of the fireplace and coughs to get their attention. They all look at her in confusion. Leyla sways on her chair and Vanessa isn’t sure she is sober enough to remember what she is about to tell her. She will more than likely have to have this conversation again with her tomorrow.

“Are you ok, teeny?”

“I am fine, Dad. I…….I am seeing someone.” Straight to the point. 

Tracey claps with glee. “I knew it! Didn’t I tell you guys I thought she was seeing someone? You have been glowing with that glow you only get from good sex…..Sorry, Dad.”

Frank laughs and pats his daughters knee. “It’s ok, Tracey. So, who is she then?”

She looks around at the faces looking back at her. Leyla is practically asleep. Tracey looks so excited she could burst. Her Dad looks curious. Pete looks like he honestly isn’t bothered. And Rhona looks…..Rhona looks concerned…….does she know?

“Charity,” she says loudly before she loses her nerve.

Leyla sits upright so fast she nearly falls off her chair. “Dingle?”

“Yes.”

Leyla bursts out laughing, much to Tracey’s annoyance.

“Are you being serious?” Tracey shouts.

“I didn’t see that one coming,” Pete says with a smile. “Good for you.”

“Good for……Are you kidding me! V, she is bad news. Really bad news, what are you thinking! Tell her, Dad.”

Frank sighs and looks at Vanessa a lot like he used to when she was a kid and she was naughty. “Teeny, I agree with Tracey. She is bad news. Do you remember what—”

“Yes! I know what she did to you. But I also know you willingly slept with her, Dad. You weren’t so innocent, and some might say you deserved what she and Megan did to you. And no, she isn’t bad news. She makes me happy. Happier than I have ever been. Ever.She gets me and I get her.”

“How long has it been going on?” Rhona asks gently. 

“A month. My feelings for her…..Well, I had feelings for her before that. I just didn’t realise what those feelings were until they literally smacked me in the face.”

“And you are happy? She isn’t forcing you into this relationship? She isn’t blackmailing you?” Frank asks.

Vanessa scowls at him. “No she isn’t forcing me into this relationship or blackmailing me. After what she went through with Bails do you really think she would do that! And yes, I am happy. So happy. She is amazing. What we have is amazing. When we spend time together it is amazing. The sex is amazing. Everything is amazing!”

Vanessa throws her hands up in the air before carrying on, “You know, me and Charity have been friends for over two years now. In that time she has never done anything to hurt me or Johnny. She adores him and he adores her. She has been an incredible friend to me and all you lot have ever done is make her feel like she isn’t good enough to by my friend.”

“Well, she isn’t,” remarks a drunk Leyla. 

“She is,” Vanessa says angrily. “You just haven’t gotten to know the real her.”

“I know her pretty well,” Frank says. 

“No, Dad, you don’t. One bunk up against a tree and a few months of her terrorising you doesn’t count as knowing her.” Vanessa hates the fact that her Dad slept with Charity. She really does. But she won't have him use that against her when he was a willing participant. 

Tracey points at her Dad. “See, she tormented him, V! How can you be with someone who does that?”

“Because I know her and why she did that. The way dad treated her and Megan was equally as bad.” She looks at her dad. “Wouldn’t you say so, Dad?”

Frank actually squirms under his daughters glare. “I wasn’t the nicest man, no.”

Vanessa gives her sister a smug grin. “See.”

Tracey growls. “She is still trouble, Vanessa.”

Vanessa sighs and runs a hand through her hair. “You don’t know her, Trace. But you better get used to the idea of her being around because she is going to be around here a lot more. I will be spending a lot of time there too with Johnny.”

“It’s serious then?” Rhona asks. 

She looks nervous for some reason and Vanessa is reminded of how she reacted when Vanessa joked about being fired. Maybe she is feeling ill or the vets is having money troubles again and she is nervous about telling her. Even though the last time Vanessa checked the vets was doing ok again. 

“Yeah…..It is.”

Rhona gives a sharp nod. “I am happy for you then.”

Vanessa smiles at her best friend. “Now, I am going to put Johnny to bed and then I am going to see Charity. Dad, if you could keep an ear out for him. I won’t be there long. I just….I just want to see her.”

Her Dad gives her a small smile. “No problem. I……I am glad you are happy, Vanessa. Just be careful, ok?”

Vanessa gives her dad a grateful smile. “Thanks, Dad.” She grabs Johnny from where he is sat on the floor. She hopes he doesn’t want two bedtime stories tonight. She is desperate to see Charity.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Charity flips a bear mat over in between her fingers as she listens, with some disgust, as Pearl, Rodney, Eric and Faith talk about all the public places where they have had sex. Their little friendship group to those looking in might seem cute, but most of their conversations steer towards sex. They always meet on a Thursday night. The night Charity always works. Which means she normally ends up hearing those conversations, whether she wants to or not. They are not in the slightest bit discreet. 

The door swings open and Vanessa strolls in. Her face breaks out into a smile when she sees Charity and Charity can’t help but smile back. She walks over to the bar and leans on it, right in front of Charity. Charity leans forwards but just stops herself short of kissing her. She still doesn’t know how it went with her lot.

“So?” Charity asks, unable to wait a second longer to hear how Vanessa’s family and friends took the news. 

“It went as well as you would think. Dad was miffed off, Tracey was fuming, Pete wasn’t bothered, Leyla is drunk so I am not sure how she really feels, and Rhona……Rhona has been acting weird all night. I guess I will have to speak to her again about it tomorrow. She seemed off.”

“Problems with her and Pete?”

“Nah. They’re ok and she would have told me if they are having problems.”

“Good. So, how do you feel? You know, with their reactions?”

“I am not bothered by what they think. We knew they weren’t going to be happy with it. They will get used to it. And when they see how happy I am they will hopefully start changing their attitude.”

Charity smiles softly. “How happy you are…….”

Vanessa grins. “Don’t pretend that you haven’t noticed how smiley I have been. Tracey said she knew that I have been seeing someone because I apparently have a glow about me.”

“A glow?”

“Yes, that glow you get when you are having good sex, apparently.”

“Phenomenal sex,” Charity corrects teasingly. 

Vanessa grins. “Phenomenal. Mind-blowing. Earth shattering. Life altering. Unbelievably amazing sex.”

Desire shots through Charity’s body. “I really want to kiss you.”

Vanessa wiggles her eyebrows. “There is nothing stopping you.”

Charity narrows her eyes and leans forward. Her nose bumps against Vanessa’s and the smaller woman smiles. “You know if we kiss right here right now, in front of Pearl, then the whole village will now within a minute.”

Vanessa’s sighs happily. “Saves us telling everyone.”

With that Charity closes the gap between them and presses her lips against Vanessa’s. Her whole body tingles and she moans as Vanessa bites on her lower lip. 

“Jesus I knew it! I knew I wasn’t going mad.” Pearl shouts. 

They break apart with a laugh. Vanessa looks over her shoulder and Charity sees her shoulders bounce as she laughs. 

“Knew what, Pearl?”

“I forgot my glasses the other week. I left them at the surgery, and I swore to god that when I walked out the vets I saw your car bouncing and I heard you scream Charity’s name.”

Charity laughs, remembering their bunk up in Vanessa’s car on the vet’s driveway. It was the bunk up that done in Vanessa’s back.

“I thought I was going mad. Good for you, ladies.”

Faith nods. “It is about time. You two have been looking at each other like love sick puppies for ages now.”

They both laugh. Yet another person who could see what they couldn’t.

“Hold onto each other, girls. What you have is good. Rare. Yes. It is rare.”

Vanessa turns her attention back to Charity and she leans in for one more kiss. She pulls away and gives Charity the smile that makes her legs weak. “I plan on holding onto her, Faith. Don’t you worry.”

“Same here,” Charity mummers, and she means it.

What she has with Vanessa is rare. She will hold onto to Vanessa with everything she has. Vanessa is amazing, special, beautiful, kind, funny, honest, trustworthy and sexy as hell. She is the best friend Charity has ever had and Charity is confident she will be the best partner she has ever had too. She will fight tooth and nail to keep her.

She just hopes that from here on out they will have a smooth time. No drama. No fights. No worries. No one trying to come between them.

Surely that isn’t too much to ask?

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Babe, are you ok?” Pete asks Rhona as he climbs into bed. His girlfriend has been usually quiet since they got back from Vanessa’s, and he is starting to worry that he has done something wrong.

“I am fine, why?”

“You seemed off at Vanessa’s and you have barely said two words since we got back.”

She sighs. “I…..I have some news for Vanessa. Before tonight I was convinced she was going to be over the moon. Now I am not so sure.”

“What news?”

“She is going to be offered a job. A big job. The job of her dreams.”

“What job?”

“Regional manager of Veterinary for farms and equine. She will be in charge of over twenty veterinary surgeries and how they deal with farm animals and horses. She will go check-ups and things like that. She will also do farm inspections to make sure the farmers are treating their animals correctly. And she may get called in to horse racing events, to make sure the vets are doing their jobs right there. It is a big job. She will be on nearly twenty-thousand pounds more than she is now.”

Pete whistles. “That is amazing.”

“It is. It is what she has always wanted to do. She is obsessed with making sure other vets are treating animals right. This way she would be able to.”

“So, what is the problem?”

“Well, she will be based at another vets. She will still practice herself, but she will also have a lot of people underneath her.”

“Ok……”

“But now she is with Charity. She seems happy right?”

“Yeah. Really happy. Rhona, I am still not seeing the problem here?”

“Well, the problem is she will have to chose between her dream job and what looks like her dream woman.”

“Why?”

“She will be based near Birmingham, Pete. Over two hours away……..Two hours away.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the wonderful comments and the kudos. They make my day that little bit brighter.


	12. Twelve

Charity wakes up slowly. She is lying on her side facing Vanessa’s bedroom door. It is just starting to get light outside. Something has pulled her from her deep slumber. Something by the name of Vanessa Woodfield.

Charity feels a soft, wet flutter of lips against her shoulder once, then again. The soft lips move towards her neck and Charity moves her head to accommodate them. She receives a sharp bite in response that sets every nerve ending in her body on fire. She gasps and arches into the warm body pressing again her back. Vanessa’s bare breasts are pressed into her back, her hip is lined up perfectly with Charity’s and their legs are entwined. Every part of their bodies that can be touching are. It is perfect. They are perfect together Charity thinks as heat blossoms in her stomach.

Perfect.

Vanessa’s tongue grazes Charity’s earlobe as she breathes out, “Charity.”

The need in her voice has Charity moaning in response. They always fall asleep exhausted after devouring each other and wake up needing each other with a desperation Charity has never felt before.

“Charity,” Vanessa breathes out again as her hips start pumping against Charity’s backside.

“Babe, I need…..”

Vanessa whimpers and Charity smiles. She loves the sounds Vanessa makes. She never imagined Vanessa would be such a vocal lover. Vanessa trails her hand up Charity’s stomach and roughly palms her breast. Vanessa is definitely a breast woman.

“Babe, please,” Charity says, not afraid to beg. Last night clearly wasn’t enough and she will be damned if she is left hanging for much longer. Her body must have been reacting to Vanessa’s touch, her presence, even in her sleep. She has never woken up so aroused before.

Charity turns her head and their lips meet in a wet, sloppy kiss that fuels the urgency between them. “Vanessa, god, babe, if you don’t touch me in a second, I am going to explode!”

Vanessa laughs against Charity’s lips. “Your wish is my command, my lady.”

 

                                    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“So, what do you think is wrong with Rhona then?” Charity asks Vanessa ask they walk out of the café.

Vanessa takes a slow sip of her hot coffee. “I have no idea. I am eager to find out though. She just seemed so……unlike herself yesterday.”

“Time of the month?”

Vanessa shakes her head. “Nope. She is just really stroppy when she has that. She seemed more…..I dunno, worried.”

They walk to the middle of the road together. Charity spins on her heel and looks down at the smaller woman. “I am sure whatever it is, you can help her through it. After all, you are super sloshed girl.”

Vanessa smiles as she thinks back on the night they got stuck in the cellar. Vanessa went down there intending to have a go at her friend for teasing her Dad and Megan. Instead they got locked in and spent most of the night watching videos of people slipping on ice and drinking a good amount of whiskey.

“Oh yeah. And what are my super powers exactly?”

Charity looks up at the sky as if deep in thought. “Kindness. Intelligence—”

“Intelligence isn’t a super power, Charity.”

“It is in this village, babe. Yesterday Jimmy realised he has been spelling Emmerdale wrong the whole time he has been living here.”

Vanessa lets out a loud laugh. “That’s Jimmy. Hardly a surprise now is it.”

Charity smirks. “Ok so your superpowers are….Kindness. Intelligence. The special ability to read people. The biggest heart—”

“More character traits than special powers.”

Charity narrows her eyes at Vanessa as Vanessa sips her coffee with an innocent look on her face.

“Fine…..Then your super power is the ability to give women toe-curling, sheet grabbing, mind-blowing, screaming orgasms.”

Vanessa spits her coffee out as Charity gives her a smug grin. Rishi stops in his tracks having heard what Charity said. He gives them both a grin and Charity glares at him.

“Yes?”

“Nothing.”

Vanessa laughs as he walks off with a big smile on his face. “You have made his day.”

Charity grunts as she watches him go. “Weirdo.”

Vanessa shakes her head and then leans up and places a soft kiss on Charity’s lips. Charity grins into the kiss and pulls Vanessa closer. Vanessa sighs as she pulls away. Spending the day with Charity, using her apparent super power, sounds perfect. But Charity has the pub to open and Vanessa has work.

More importantly she needs to speak to Rhona.

“Can you come over to the pub at lunch?”

“I will try. It depends on what Rhona says. If it is something personal then she might need my full attention all day. Until bedtime, of course. Then I can put my super power to good use again.”

Charity moans softly and Vanessa feels a spike of excitement shoot through her. She loves the affect she has on Charity. It is addictive. As is the affect Charity is having on her. She hopes to god it never fades away.

“That, I am definitely up for.” Charity places a chaste kiss on her lips. “See you later.”

Vanessa smiles at her in lieu of a goodbye. She watches Charity walk into the pub before she makes her way to work herself. She smiles as she thinks back on last night. They hadn’t planned on spending the night together. Vanessa thought she would go and tell Charity how her lot took the news about them seeing each other and then she would head back home alone. Charity had other ideas then and decided they needed to celebrate their ‘outing’, as she called it, by spending the night together. Moses is with Ross so after Charity finished up her shift she ran straight to Vanessa’s for the night. And what a night it was. Vanessa blushes as she thinks about the things they had done. Unlike with her other partners Vanessa doesn’t hold back and neither does Charity. They each give as good as they get, and god it is good.

Vanessa walks into the vets with an extra spring in her step. She is sure that nothing can wipe the smile off her face today. She takes her coat off and hangs it on the back of the door. She places her handbag onto the reception desk and fires up the computer.

Once that is done she has a quick look at the appointment list. She frowns as she sees all of Rhona’s appointments have been cancelled. Concern hits her as she really starts to worry about her best friend. Rhona doesn’t even cancel appointments when she has the flu.

This must be bad.

She is about to go and find Rhona when Pearl walks in. Vanessa gives her a smile as she looks at her in confusion.

“Why are you here? You aren’t working today?”

Pearl takes off her scarf and eyes Vanessa wearily. “I am. Rhona told me I am covering your shift.”

Vanessa shakes her head. “No….I am working today.”

She can’t wait until she is back to being a full time vet. She loves Pearl. She really does. But the other woman also drives her up the wall. She also likes to refuse to work when Vanessa wants her to cover her shift and then insists that she is working when Vanessa is, meaning they are both in the reception trying to do the same job.

It is safe to say they argue. A lot.

“No. Rhona rang me this morning and asked me to come in.”

Vanessa groans. She could have spent the morning in bed with Charity. Charity, she is sure, would have gotten out of her morning shift at the pub with a quick phone call and a poxy excuse. Especially if there was the promise of a few more precious hours in bed together.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me!”

Peal shrugs like she doesn’t care less. She probably doesn’t.

Vanessa stands up and sighs. “I need to speak to Rhona. Did she……did she sound ok to you?”

Pearl sits straight in the seat Vanessa was just sat in. “She sounded fine. Why?”

“No reason,” Vanessa says with a fake smile. “I’ll just be through there if you need me.”

Pearl looks at Vanessa over the rim of her glasses. “I never need you, love. I am quite capable.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes. “Don’t I know it,” she mutters under her voice.

“What was that?”

Vanessa smiles again. “I was just saying how lucky we are to have you.”

Pearl scoffs and Vanessa laughs. Pearl may drive her mad but she wouldn’t change the older lady for the world. She wouldn’t be Pearl if she wasn’t opinionated, nosey, gobby, and outrageous.

Vanessa walks into the treatment room and then to the door leading to Rhona’s house. She tries the door and is shocked to find it open. Since Rhona has been with Pete, and whilst they are both at home, it is often locked. Something Vanessa is relieved about. Walking in on them once was more than enough for her. The only time the door is left unlocked is when Rhona is working or out on a job, in case they need some tea or biscuits. The vets really does need some tea making facilities put in.

“Rhona?”

“I’m in here.”

Vanessa closes the door behind her and follows the sound of Rhona’s voice into the kitchen. There is a pot of tea and some biscuits sat on the kitchen table as well as Rhona’s laptop and some paperwork.

“Good morning.”

Her friend gives her a strained smile and Vanessa knows she won’t be leaving this room until she knows what is wrong with Rhona.

“Good morning. Sleep well?”

Vanessa sits down at the table. “When Charity let me fall asleep, I slept like a baby. Not that I a complaining about her keeping me awake.”

Rhona lets out a little laugh as she places a small jug of milk on the table. Vanessa likes her tea tasting more like warm milk than tea. Rhona never dares to make her one in case she gets it wrong. The familiarity between them makes Vanessa smile.

“She stayed the night then?” Rhona asks as she takes a seat opposite Vanessa.

“She did.”

“That’s good then…..That’s good,” Rhona says softly.

She is looking everywhere but at Vanessa and Vanessa is about to start her interrogation when Paddy walks in, like the bull in a china shop he is.

“Sorry I am late. Chas and I…….Chas was….” He blushes and Vanessa can guess what he and Chas were up to.

“It is no problem,” Rhona replies. She gestures to the seat next to her. “Sit down.”

Vanessa frowns and a feeling of unease runs down her spine. The only time she, Paddy and Rhona sit down like this, without warning, is when something bad has happened or is about to. Like when a vast majority of their patients moved to the cheaper vets.

“What is going on?”

Paddy scratches at his head. “You haven’t told her?”

“I thought it would be better for us to do it together.”

Paddy slaps his hands together. “Am I taking the good news, or the really good news?”

Oh….It is good news? This whole situation has Vanessa scratching at her own head. If it is good news then why does Rhona look like she is about to tell Vanessa her hamster has died?

“You can take the good news. I will take the really good news.”

Paddy practically bounces in his seat as he looks at Vanessa. “You have been reinstated. Early.”

Vanessa stares back at him in shock before she yells out in delight. “You are kidding me?”

Paddy shakes his head. “Nope. I got the email yesterday. They reviewed your case and decided you have suffered enough.”

Vanessa laughs. “Tell me about it.” Happiness swims through her. “Wait……Why did they review my case? They don’t normally do that. They told me their decision was final and I wouldn’t be reinstated until the thirtieth of March. And what about the refresher classes I was going to have to go to.”

Paddy smiles. “You still have to go to them. But……Well, the next bit all ties in with Rhona’s part of the news. I just want to say though, before she tells you, I will be gutted to see you go.”

Vanessa shakes her head, sure she has misheard him. “Go?”

Rhona takes a large swig of her tea and places it back down with shaking hands. “You have had a job offer, Ness.”

That takes Vanessa by surprise. She was never, in a million years, expecting Rhona to say that. “A job? Where? Doing what?”

“Regional manager of Veterinary for farms and equine.”

A mix of excitement and disbelief hit Vanessa. It is her dream job. A job she never let herself imagine she would ever be able to get. “You. Are. Kidding. Me?”

Paddy laughs. “Nope. I saw the job come up online. They were asking for recommendations, so I recommended you. I asked all our clients for references and they all sent one back and they were amazing. Honestly, Vanessa, our client base thinks the world of you.”

Vanessa blushes. She gets on well with all their clients. She knows she is a good vet, too. She didn’t realise that they all thought so highly of her. “Wow.”

Paddy carries on talking, “They want you to officially start on the day you are reinstated. But, you will need to learn the ropes and do the refresher classes. It is the first of Feb now. Obviously, it is a lot to take on and you will be very busy for the next seven weeks. They want to see you first. Your potential new boss, Tony Clein, is coming up to Leeds tomorrow. He wants to see you then. From the sounds of things, you will need to give him your answer by the end of the week. So, four days away.”

Vanessa nods and then something Paddy has just said hits her. “Wait…..Coming up to Leeds? Where is he based?”

Rhona shuffles on her chair. “Birmingham.”

“Oh……Wait, so why will I be based up here if he is based down there?”

Paddy and Rhona look at each other uncomfortably. Rhona takes a deep breath and clears her throat. “You won’t be, Ness. The job is in Birmingham.”

A cold shiver runs down Vanessa’s spine. Birmingham. Two hours away. Away from her sister and her Dad. Away from Rhona, Leo, Paddy and Pearl…….Away from Charity and the kids…..

“I….I can’t move to Birmingham…….”

Paddy frowns. “Why not? It is a Monday to Friday job. You came come back up on the weekends.”

“But what I am supposed to do during the week? Who is going to have Johnny? I can’t move away my life is here!”

Paddy laughs as if he thinks she is joking. “Vanessa, he goes to nursery here he can go to nursery down there. And you can start up a new life down there.”

“Oh…..It is that easy is it, Paddy? My family are here. I……Charity is here.”

Paddy rolls his eyes. “Oh come on. Surely you two aren’t serious? I thought it was just a bit of fun. You exploring your sexuality and all that?”

Vanessa feels anger rise through her. “It isn’t just a bit of fun, Paddy. I……I care about her. A lot. She……She means the world to me.”

Rhona leans both hands on the table. “Vanessa, I love you and I only want what is best for you. You know that right?”

Vanessa nods.

“I think you should go and meet Tony tomorrow. I think you need to see what he has to say. I….I know you are pretty smitten with Charity right now. It is all new and pretty, but you have to ask yourself is it going to last….”

“How the hell do I know! Who goes into a relationship knowing if it is going to last or not!”

“Is it a relationship though?” Paddy asks seriously. “Or is it just a bit of fun for her, and you? Cain was round this morning and he says she is only with you because she is bored. She does this, Vanessa. She starts seeing someone because she is bored and lonely. Then some rich man comes along and she moves on to them. No one is ever enough for her.”

Tears sting Vanessa’s eyes. Caused by both fury and fear. Fury that even Paddy thinks Charity is just the love them and leave them type, when in fact he knows nothing about what has really happened in any of her past relationships.

And a fear that he might be right.

What if she isn’t enough for her?

“Vanessa,” Rhona says softly. “We want the best for you. We don’t want you to miss out on your dream over a fling.”

“It isn’t a fling.”

Rhona gives her sad smile. “To you maybe. But is it more serious for her?”

Vanessa can’t answer that question. They haven’t put a label on what they are. Even Charity herself said they don’t need to. Nor does she want to. Charity only really wanted to tell people about them so they could stop sneaking around.

Vanessa lets out a shuddering breath before answering, “I honestly don’t know. I don’t know.”

 

                                      - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“Why are you smiling so much?” Nicola asks Charity with a look of alarm on her face.

“Just happy, Nicola. I know it is an emotion you don’t experience, but the rest of us happen to experience it quite a lot.”

Nicola glares at Charity as she grabs her drink. “I am very happy actually.”

“Tell your face that then.”

Chas laughs from behind Charity. “Leave her alone for once will you.”

“Oh, she loves it,” Charity says as she watches Nicola walk to her table. Nicola glares at her again and Charity laughs.

She is too happy to let Nicola bring her mood down.

“She is right though. You are very smiley today.”

“Who wouldn’t be in my position. My kids are happy for a change. This place is blooming. Oh, and I am seeing the hottest woman, with the most incredible sex drive, who happened to drive me mild last night.”

Chas pulls a disgusted face. “TMI.”

Charity laughs. “Sorry not sorry.”

Chas joins in on the laughter. “It is nice though. To see you so happy. Vanessa is good for you.”

Charity grins. “She really is. I have never been this…..I don’t know how to explain it. I have never been this happy with anyone before.”

“Won’t last.”

Charity spins on her heel to face whoever said that. Cain. She could have guessed. He can never be happy for her. Never. He always has to bring her down. He was really supportive on the day of her trial, but then after that he went back to his usual crappy self.

“Yeah, who says?”

He scoffs. “Your track history says. You can’t stay with someone for more than five minutes before you move onto someone new. You cheated on me you claim I am the love of your life.”

She lets out a humourless laugh. “I didn’t cheat on you. You need to drop that. You need to accept that you screwed up our relationship by cheating with Faye. I didn’t sleep with Jai until we were over. Also, I may have said that, but it is amazing what one will say when they are lonely and desperate. Really, really desperate.”

Cain laughs. “Keep telling yourself that.”

Charity goes to say something else when Chas grabs her arm. “Leave him. He has clearly got one on him. Go out the back. Noah just got home from school. Go and see how his exam went.”

Charity throws Cain one last death glare before she walks through to the backroom. Just before she walks into the living room her phone buzzes in her back pocket. She pulls it out and smiles when she sees a text from Vanessa.

**Sorry I haven’t been in touch. Busy day xx**

**That’s fine. Is Rhona ok? Did you speak to her? Xx**

**Yeah….she is fine. I might not be able to see you later, but I will try and pop in xx**

**“I hope you can. I really want to see you. I am rather looking forward to sample your super powers again xxxx**

**“I will try xxxx**

**Can’t wait xxxxx**

Charity smiles as she walks into the backroom. Two nights on the trot with Vanessa. How did she get so lucky? Noah smiles at her which shocks her somewhat.

“How did it go today?”

“I won’t know until I get the results.”

Charity rolls her eyes. “I know that. How do you feel it went?”

“Ok. I knew nearly all the answers. The ones I was unsure of I tried my hardest with.”

Charity smiles with pride. He may he a moody sod a lot of the time but he is a hard worker.

“That’s my boy. Pizza for tea?”

He grins. “Yeah…..How is Vanessa?”

Charity smiles. “She is good. She is staying tonight….If that is ok?”

“Course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Because, you know…..”

“Mum, I am fine with you dating Vanessa. I just don’t want you to muck it up.”

“I don’t want to mess it up either. I am going to try my damned hardest to make this one last, Noah. My damned hardest.”

 

                                         - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Vanessa walks through the dark village. She has lost count of the amount of times she has walked around this village this evening. Her mind is all over the place. She doesn’t know if she is coming of going. And her heart…….Her heart feels like it is being used as the rope in a game of tug of war.

Her dream job.

Vs

Her dream woman.

She stops outside the pub and sits down on one of the benches. She feels the tears stinging her eyes again. She can’t remember the last time she cried this much. It is all she has done all day. Rhona and Paddy have tried their best to comfort her. They have tried their best to help her with her decision. They have tried to make her see things from their point of view.

_She has waited her entire working lifetime for this job. It will only be offered to her once._

_There are a million other women out there. Five minutes in Birmingham and she will have found a new woman._

Not one like Charity though. There is no one on this planet like Charity. No one who will ever make her laugh like Charity. No one who will ever make her heart beat faster like Charity does. She is one of a kind. She really is.

But the job……It is her dream job. The job she has fantasied about getting. The job she swore she would get on her first day at Uni, earning her a smirk from her lecturer.

She groans into her hands. This is going to be, without a doubt, the hardest decision of her life.

She stands up and walks into the pub. It is late, really late. She sent Charity a message saying she couldn’t come over, but then Rhona offered to have Johnny overnight. She could see Vanessa needs sometime to herself.

Vanessa was planning on going home and staying hidden away in her room whilst she made her decision. She was determined to make her decision tonight. She needs to go into her meeting with Tony tomorrow knowing what she wants. She even made a ‘why to take the job list’ and ‘why to stay with Charity and in the village’ list.

It didn’t help.

Tony was going to be dealing with a very confused Vanessa tomorrow afternoon.

For now though she just needs Charity. She needs to be near her. She needs to feel her. To kiss her. To touch her. Charity grounds her and she needs that more than anything right now.

Chas looks up in surprise as Vanessa walks through the door. Vanessa gives her a tired smile.

“I wasn’t expecting you tonight? Charity said you weren’t coming around?”

“I wasn’t but……Is she upstairs?”

“Yeah. I think she is asleep.”

Vanessa nods. “Thanks.”

Chas frowns. “Are you ok? You don’t seem yourself?”

“Just tired,” Vanessa says simply.

She walks through the dark living room and treads slowly up the stairs. She walks to Charity’s room and slowly turns the doorknob. The room is dark expect for the sliver of light from the streetlight coming through the curtains. Charity lays still in the middle of the bed. Her soft snores fill the room and fill Vanessa’s heart with warmth. This…..This is what she has always wanted. Someone to climb into bed with. Someone who soft snores make her heart flip over in her chest, not annoy her.

She strips out of her clothes until she is naked. She carefully slides into bed beside Charity. She wraps her arms around Charity and buries her face in Charity’s hair. The smell of Charity’s shampoo makes her eyes tear up again. It has all become so familiar so fast. She has never felt this safe, this content with anyone.

Charity moans softly and wiggles in Vanessa’s arms.

“Ness?” Charity whispers as she rolls over in Vanessa’s arms.

Vanessa’s heart goes into overdrive. Charity hardly ever calls her Ness, but when she does it is so soft, so loving, and only in moments when it is just the two of them. She doesn’t want to talk though. They are going to have to talk, but not tonight. Tonight, she just wants this. The warmth of Charity embrace.

“Go back to sleep,” Vanessa whispers as she places a soft kiss on Charity’s lips.

“You ok?”

Vanessa smiles in the darkness. “I am fine.”

Charity throws her arm over Vanessa’s hips and tangles their legs together. This….Vanessa just needs this…….

“You’ll still be here in the morning?”

“Yeah, Charity….I will still be here.”

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your continued support :) It means the world.


	13. Thirteen

Charity walks down the stairs with an extra spring in her step. Vanessa turning up out of the blue last night was a very welcome surprise. They didn’t have sex, but Charity doesn't care. She loves snuggling up with the smaller woman just as much. Well, maybe not just as much. The sex between them is mind-blowing, but the cuddles are pretty phenomenal too. Charity has never been much of a cuddler, especially in bed, but with Vanessa she just can’t help herself.

She walks into the living room and gives her little gang a smile. If only Johnny was here, then it would be perfect, she thinks as she walks over to kitchen table. She stops short when she realises the boys are already eating. Noah never gets his own breakfast and Moses is too small to, so Vanessa must have fed them. Love burst through Charity’s veins. She’s never had a partner who has cared about her kids as much as Vanessa does. She knows that Vanessa must have heard Moses get up and instead of waking Charity and demanding she feed him she brought him down here herself.

“Morning, babe,”

Vanessa is stood looking at the toaster and she jumps when she hears Charity’s voice. The smile she gives Charity is small, not the usual beaming smile Charity is greeted with in the morning.

“Are you ok?”

Vanessa gives a quick nod. “I am fine. Just tired.”

“Oh….Did you not sleep too good?”

“Not really.”

Charity walks over to Vanessa, aware that Noah is watching her, and wraps her arms around Vanessa’s waist. Vanessa tenses for a second and then sighs before relaxing into Charity’s embrace. Charity kisses her cheek softly.

“Is everything ok? Is it work? I know Rhona needed to talk to you about something.”

Vanessa tenses again. “Yeah work is……Just losing a few customers again.”

“That sucks. Maybe you could do something to lure them back. Like………I have no idea what you could do. I hate animals.”

Vanessa laughs softly. “I know you do, and maybe yeah…..I am sure we will think of something.”

Two slices of toast pop out of the toaster and Vanessa grabs them. “Here, I have made you breakfast.”

Charity doesn’t let go of Vanessa as she spreads the butter over the toast. Something is off with her, she can feel it. Vanessa is tense and she has yet to make eye contact with Charity. She has normally snogged her face off by now.

Vanessa picks up the plate and turns in Charity’s arms. She gives her another soft smile as she holds up the plate. “Breakfast.”

Charity takes the plate. “Thanks, babe. Have you had some?”

Vanessa rubs her stomach. “I am not all that hungry. I need to get home and get Johnny off to nursery. I will grab something on the way back.”

Charity frowns, her worry worsening. Vanessa loves food. Not that you would know it looking at her. She eats more than Noah, if that is even possible. She even moaned about how hungry she was during sex one time, which made Charity stop what she was doing and laugh harder than she could ever remember laughing before. Vanessa not eating means something is definitely wrong.

“Are you sure you are ok? You always eat as soon as you wake up.”

Vanessa gives her a big smile that seems forced. “I am fine, honestly. Maybe I have a bug coming or something.” She gently cups Charity’s cheek. “I will call you later, yeah?”

Charity nods. “Maybe we could go out, just the two of us or something?”

Vanessa smiles and this time it is a real smile. “I would like that.” She gently leans forward and kisses Charity softly. She pulls away before Charity can really reciprocate. “Can I leave you to arrange it all? Early dinner? I can’t ask anyone to look after Johnny again.”

“Sure,” Charity replies softly.

Vanessa gives her a grateful smile. She quickly says goodbye to the boys before making her exit. Charity sits down with her toast next to Moses. He is covered in banana as usual but he looks happy. Noah on the other hand is glaring at her. She has only been awake ten minutes. Surely she can’t have annoyed him already?

“What?

“What have you done to her?”

Charity takes a bite out of her toast and stares at her son in confusion. “Who?”

He tuts. “Don’t talk with your mouthful.”

“Um, who is the parent here?”

He shrugs. “Hard to tell sometimes,” he mutters before glaring at her again. “Seriously though, what have you done to her?”

“To who?”

“Vanessa?”

Charity drops her toast. “I haven’t done anything to her.”

“Then why was she really quiet this morning and acting all…..weird…..”

“Weird how?”

“Like, she kept daydreaming with a frown on her face. She only spoke when she was spoken to and she didn’t laugh at the bad jokes the guy on the breakfast show was telling. I don’t think she was even listening to them to tell you the truth. She just seemed……off.”

“Well, you heard her. They have a lot going on at the vets and she is clearly worried about it. I haven’t done anything to her. We are as happy as Larry.”

“Who is Larry?” Moses asks.

Charity laughs and ruffles his hair. “No idea, baba.”

Noah hums. “Well, I hope that is all it is. She wasn’t this anxious about it when they first started losing the customers.”

That makes Charity pause. Noah is right. Last time she was upset but she wasn’t overly that worried. They only lost a handful of customers last time. Not enough to cause them any issues and quite a few came back when they realised how naff the other vets were.

“Yeah….You’re right…..I’ll speak to Paddy later on and see what is going on.”

Paddy will tell her. She hopes it isn’t anything too serious.

 

                              - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Vanessa walks into the plush hotel in the centre of Leeds. She feels like she is about to throw up and she has no idea why. She always imagined this moment. Finally getting the interview for the job of her dreams. Then again, she always imagined she would be in a happy, settled relationship by that point. Not just realising who she really is and not having just found the woman of her dreams.

And she is. Charity really is the woman of her dreams.

Vanessa stifles another yawn as she heads towards the reception desk. She barely slept a wink last night. She couldn’t switch her brain off. All she could think about was Charity, the job, Johnny, moving away vs staying.

She knew she had to come today, to hear Tony out. Maybe they could compromise. Maybe they could find her a similar job a bit closer to home. She doesn’t just love her life in Emmerdale, but she loves what she has with Charity. She loves it.

“Hi, I am here for a meeting with Tony Clein.”

The receptionist smiles. “He is in the restaurant. It is on the second floor. Take any of the lifts, they all stop right outside of it.”

Vanessa smiles in thanks and walks to the lifts. She gets in with another gentleman and the knot of nausea in her stomach tightens as the lift makes the short journey up to the second floor. The gentleman lets out her first and she gives him a small smile. Vanessa walks into the restaurant and introduces herself to the host.

“Aha, yes, if you would like to follow me, Miss Woodfield.”

Vanessa follows the young man as he leads her through the restaurant. She looks around at all the other people laughing and joking, looking like they were having a good time, and she wishes she could swap place with them. Any of them. Even the woman who is clearly on a date with her sugar daddy. The young man stops so suddenly Vanessa nearly walks into his back. She looks around him as another man stands up to greet her. His smile is warm and friendly. He is dressed in what looks to be a very expensive suit. His black hair is slick back from his forehead. He looks very professional, just how Vanessa imagined he would.

“Vanessa?”

She nods and holds out her hand. “Yes. You must be Tony?”

“I am indeed.” He gives the hostess a smile before taking Vanessa’s hand in a firm, tight grip. “Sit, please.”

She does. She points to the jug of water. “Do you mind if I have a quick glass of that?”

“Oh of course not.”

She pours herself a full glass and downs it right away.

“Wow. You must have been thirsty.”

She lets out a small laugh. “Yeah I had to park miles away and then run.” She didn’t. She managed to park in the hotel’s carpark. The water is to try and fight back the sick feeling that is getting stronger by the second.

“Ok. Well, I know meeting here seems a little……strange, but I always like to do these things in an informal environment. I feel like it helps with the nerves, wouldn’t you agree?”

Nothing can make Vanessa feel better right now, but she nods along in agreement anyway.

“I presume as you are here and Paddy told me you are very excited and that you know what this meeting is all about.”

“The regional manager of Veterinary for farms and equine job.”

“Yes. For the midlands. You will be in charge of quite a lot of people. You will mainly cover Warwickshire, Leicestershire and Northamptonshire. You will be based at a vets in Birmingham, and you will work from there. Paddy says you are very hands on, so don’t worry you will still get to help out and practice at the same time.”

Vanessa nods slowly. “Is…..Is there not a position any closer?”

Tony smiles. “Paddy said you might say that. He told me you have just gotten into a new relationship and you are also hesitant about leaving your family behind.”

Bloody Paddy! She is going to kill him. “Yes. That is right.”

“Well, your family can come and see you and……..Call me a downer, but I rarely find that relationships last.”

Anger flares within her but she holds it in. “Well, it might be new, but we have known each other for a long time now. She is my best friend. We have been through hell and back. Well, she has, but I was there for her the whole time. So, whilst this all might seem new to the everyone else, it kind of isn’t for us.”

He smiles but Vanessa can see it is fake. It definitely isn’t as warm as the smile he gave her when she first arrived. “As lovely as that is, if you have been friends for so long then why hasn’t it gone further before now. And, how do you know it is going to last?”

“I…..” Vanessa stutters. She doesn’t feel comfortable talking about this with someone she has just met. She also can’t answer him because he is right. How does she know it is going to last? Look at Zac and Lisa, they split after nearly twenty years of marriage. They got back together, but she and Charity are just beginning. What if something came between them in a few months and they split. What then?

Would she want to be in the village with Charity, knowing what is was like to be with her yet not being able to?

Would she be able to stay around and watch her be with someone else?

Would she be able to walk into the pub ever again, knowing every time she saw Charity her heart was bound to break?

Would she regret throwing away the opportunity of a lifetime?

“I think, Vanessa, that we have a lot to talk about. Don’t you?”

 

                                  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Charity walks over to the vets with Marlon yapping away by her side. He said he was going to see Paddy and she remembered that she too wanted to see Paddy. She also wants to see if Vanessa is at work. She hasn’t heard from her since she left this morning. Charity has sent her a few texts that haven’t even been read yet.

“So, I am taking her to Belfast.”

“Belfast…..For your honeymoon…..Oh, Marlon, that is tragic.”

“What, no it isn’t. She is really excited.”

Charity snorts. “I am sure she is. Marlon, women want a beach with the hot sun shining down on them. Not Guinness and rain.”

“A….she doesn’t drink Guinness. And b, it might not rain.”

Charity laughs. “Why Belfast anyway. Does she have some ties there or something?”

“No, no, Titanic is her favourite film and that is where it was built. They have the museum and all that there too.”

Charity stops. “Titanic is her favourite film?”

“Yes…..Why?”

Charity groans. She can’t believe it. “I love that film too. I make Vanessa watch it all the time.”

Marlon looks more excited by that piece of information then one would expect. “Really! Maybe you two could watch it together.”

Charity huffs. “Over my dead body. Look, Marlon, you are my cousin and I……Well, I like you a little bit at a push, but I am not watching that film with your wife. I still think she is a stuck up—”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Marlon interrupts as they reach the vets. “Why are you coming here anyway?”

“To see Vanessa. And Paddy.”

“What do you want to see Paddy for?”

“I want to ask him something.”

“What?”

“None of your business.”

The door swings open and a small woman holding a very small dog walks out the vets. The dog snarls at Charity and she nearly snarls back. She has no idea why Vanessa loves working with animals. She can’t stand the things. Noah has been banging on about getting a dog for years now, but there is no way in hell that will be happening.

A goldfish. He can have a goldfish.

Charity walks in and looks over at the desk. Pearl is sat there and she feels an new wave of unease rolls over her. Vanessa didn’t say she was going to work this morning, but she always works on a Friday morning. Always.

Pearl looks at them over the top of her glasses. “How can I help you both?”

“I need to see Paddy quickly,” Marlon says.

Peal just points to the door leading to the treatment room. Marlon runs through leaving Charity and Pearl alone.

“And how can I help you, Charity?”

“I also need to speak to Paddy. And, I was hoping to see Vanessa.”

“She is out.”

“Out where?”

“How the bloody hell should I know. All I know is that she has gone to Leeds. I heard Paddy say to her that if she has to pay for parking in Leeds he will put it on the expenses.”

“Oh….So it is work related then?”

Pearl shrugs. “Must be.”

Charity takes a seat and Pearl rolls her eyes. “She isn’t going to be back anytime soon so there is no use you just sitting there.”

“I need to speak to Paddy, too, remember?”

Pearl tuts but luckily the phone rings so that ceases all conversation between the two women. Charity doesn’t know how Vanessa copes working with Peal either. Animals and Pearl……Charity’s worst combination.

She waits nearly ten minutes, ignoring Pearl’s scowling face the whole time, before Marlon walks out of the treatment room. He and Paddy are giggling like little school girls and Charity rolls her eyes. Their conversation was probably about the new zombie game they are both obsessed with. She hears Paddy screaming at the TV all the time. Noah playing those games she gets, he isn’t fifteen yet, but Paddy and Marlon…….Men, do they ever grow up.

Paddy stops laughing when he sees Charity sitting in the reception. “Charity, are you ok?”

Charity stands and gives Marlon a half-arsed wave as he quickly runs out of the vets. “I am fine. I want to speak to you, if you have time?”

“Pearl, when is my next appointment?”

“In an hour. This is your lunch.”

He rubs his protruding belly. “Yes! Come through. We can chat whilst I eat.”

Charity grimaces at the thought. He is a messy eater. But she needs to know what is going on with Vanessa and the vets, and if there is anything she can do to help. Charity follows Paddy into the treatment room and waits patiently whilst he gets his lunch. He places his lunch box on the table and Charity reels in horror.

“You don’t eat that in here do you? On that table?”

“Yes, why?”

“You chop animals up in here, Paddy! It isn’t very hygienic.”

He laughs. “We don’t chop them up. And we sterilise after every patient. This room is probably the cleanest room in the village.”

Charity doubts that. It stinks of dog.

“So, what can I help you with?” Paddy asks around a mouthful of his sandwich. A sandwich Chas made because, you know, men never grow up.

“Vanessa…..I am worried about her. She seemed off this morning.”

Paddy swallows slowly. “Ah…..Well…..She’s…….”

“I know she is worried….You know, about this place and what is going to happen next. How long do you think she will be in Leeds for?”

Paddy relaxes. “You know about Leeds?”

“Yeah, Pearl just—”

“Thank god. I am so glad she told you. I know she was worried about how to tell you. I think she was so worried about telling you that she didn’t really let it all sink in though. I am glad you are being supportive though.”

Charity frowns. “What?”

“What?”

“Supportive of what, Paddy?”

“The job. Vanessa’s new job. She has definitely got it. Her interview today was just a formality. She has that job in the bag.”

“What job?”

Paddy laughs and then pales. “You said…..You said you know she is in Leeds and why!”

“I was about to say Pearl told me that she is in Leeds, but you interrupted me. And I didn’t say anything about knowing why.”

“Oh….god.”

“Paddy, what the hell is going on?” Charity walks around the table until she is stood toe to toe with Paddy. “You better tell me the truth or so help me god, Paddy, I will find some surgical instrument in here and shove it—”

“Vanessa has a job interview for the job of her dreams.”

“Regional manager of Veterinary for farms and equine,” Charity states slowly. Vanessa has gone on about it so much she knows the title off by heart. The job on the other hand….she has no idea what that entails.

“Yes…..”

Charity beams. “That is fantastic! She will be over the moon! Will she be based here, or will she have to go to a vets in Leeds?”

Paddy scratches the top of his head anxiously. “I……I think we need to talk.”

 

                                                 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Vanessa drives back into the village, unable to keep the smile off her face. She has made a decision that is best for her and for Johnny, of that she is sure. It is an amazing opportunity and one she can’t wait to tell Rhona and Paddy about. She knows they will be equally as thrilled as she is, if not a little bit jealous. She parks outside her house and jumps out of the car. She can’t wait to see her little boy and give him a big hug. She did this for him as well as herself. She wants to give him not only a childhood full of security but one full of love. One she never had.

She runs into her house and stops dead in her tracks. The living room is a state. There are pillows and blankets everywhere. She is about to scream bloody murder when Jacob’s head pops out from underneath one of the blankets.

“Oh, hi, Vanessa.”

Leyla’s head pops out the other end, followed by Johnny whose eyes light up when they see her.

“Mummy!”

He runs out from what Vanessa is guessing is some kind of pillow and blanket fort, and straight into his mother’s legs.

“We made a fort!”

“I can see that!”

“Me, Leyla and Jakey made it all by ourselves.”

Vanessa picks him up and places a soft kiss on his cheek. She inhales his smell and her heart swells in her chest. “It looks amazing. I hope Leyla is going to tidy it up by herself, too.”

Johnny frowns. “No! I want Charity, Moses and Noah to come play in it.”

Vanessa laughs. She can just imagine Charity’s face when she tells her Johnny wants her to come around and play in his fort.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Leyla says. “Jacob and I are going out for dinner. Tracey is with Victoria, they’re going to a ladies night thing in Hotten. Your dad is planning on spending the night in the pub…..again.”

Vanessa sighs. Since her dad broke up with Megan, he has been spending more and more time in the pub. He doesn’t get drunk and he ends up normally hanging out with Rodney, Eric and Bob, but she still would rather he found something better to do than sitting in their local every night. Although, she wouldn’t mind doing that. But she is different. She wants to go and sit in there so she can ogle her woman, not to moan about women and much life sucks over a few pints.

“Great stuff.”

Vanessa places Johnny back on the floor and smiles as she watches him run back under the blanket fort.

“I think his idea is great. Ring Charity and get her and the boys round. Moses will love the fort.”

“And Noah,” Jacob says with a laugh.

Vanessa rolls her eyes. “And you get to get out of tiding it all away. I know your game, Leyla.”

Leyla bats her eyelashes at Vanessa. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

Vanessa laughs. “Be off with you then. Where are you going for dinner?”

“Pizza hut!” Jacob says with a big smile.

“Well, enjoy. And remember—”

“Bring any leftovers home in a box. Yes, Vanessa, I know.”

Vanessa smiles gleefully before pulling her phone out of her back pocket. She sends a quick message to Charity asking if she wants to come around for dinner.

**Hey! Fancy coming round and having dinner with me and little man? He has built a pillow fort and I am sure Moses and Noah will love it xxxx**

**Yeah sure**

Vanessa frowns at the brisk response. She quickly shakes it off thinking Charity is probably busy or something. She isn’t going to tell her about the job. Not yet. Not until she has ironed out all the details. She has another meeting in four days. After that she will know exactly what is going on, and then she will tell everyone what the new job is all about and what it will mean for her and her future at the vets. And Tony needs to speak to Paddy and Rhona too.

“Right, Johnny, what do you want for dinner?”

“Spaghetti?”

She laughs. She should have known that would be the answer. Spaghetti or Pizza. Johnny’s two favourite foods. If she didn’t know any better she would swear the kid had some Italian in him.

“Good choice. Let’s make this fort a little bit better before the rest of the gang arrives, yeah?”

 

                                      - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Charity walks over to Vanessa’s with Moses and Noah. Well, Moses is running as fast as his little legs will carry him. The idea of playing in a fort is apparently the most exciting thing that has ever happened to him. Today anyway.

“What are we eating?”

Charity shrugs. “She didn’t say.”

Vanessa hasn’t said a lot of things today. One of which being the job interview she forgot to mention she was going on today. Charity can’t fathom why she wouldn’t tell her. Was Vanessa not the one banging on about them being honest with each other from now on? Was Vanessa not the one always hassling Charity to get her to tell her exactly what is on her mind?

Yep.

Yet she can sneak off to a job interview that will not only change her life but also her address……without saying a word…….

Moses is already banging on the door by the time Charity reaches Vanessa’s gate. Vanessa opens the front door and grabs Moses before he has a chance to run inside the house. He squeals in delight and she blows a raspberry against his cheek before setting him down on the floor. Next she turns her attention to Noah, who holds out his hands in front of him.

“A high five will do thanks. I am a bit old for raspberries.”

Vanessa throws her head back as she laughs. “I wouldn’t even dream of it. You’d probably shave my eyebrows off whilst I was asleep to get back at me.”

Charity can’t see Noah’s face but knows he is more than likely smiling. He loves Vanessa. God, all her kids do. If she has taken this job it is going to break their hearts.

And hers.

Noah walks in and Vanessa turns her attention to Charity. Her expression changes as she walks down the path. Charity’s heart clenches as Vanessa wordlessly cups her face in her hands and draws their lips together. As angry and hurt as Charity is she can’t help but reciprocate the kiss. The way her body and heart respond to Vanessa is out of her control. It always has been. Even when her brain is screaming at her to pull away and demand answers.

She can’t.

She won’t.

“I’ve missed you today,” Vanessa whispers as they part. “Sorry I was so quiet this morning. I had a lot on my mind.”

Charity forces out a smile. “No problem. Come on then, let’s go and see this fort.”

Vanessa frowns slightly but then gives Charity a smile. She is probably wondering why her ‘I missed you’ wasn’t reciprocated. “It is a bit crazy. Blame Leyla. She built the bloody thing.”

Charity follows her into the house and smiles at the carnage in the living room. All three boys are not in sight which means that all three boys are underneath the pile of blankets. Noah may claim he is too old to play with Moses and Johnny, but more often than not he ends up playing whatever silly game they are playing.

“Ness, have you got any torches?” Noah asks from underneath the pile of blankets.

“Yeah, upstairs. Charity, would you mind checking on the mince for me? It should be done soon.”

Charity nods and walks towards Vanessa’s small kitchen. She pokes the mince meat with a fork. It still needs a few more minutes. She is starting to stir the spaghetti when Vanessa’s phone goes off, signalling that Vanessa either has an email or a message. Charity tries not to look at the screen, she really does, but temptation gets the better of her and she turns towards the kitchen table and picks the phone up. Her stomach drops and she swears her heart stops when she sees the title of the email on Vanessa’s phone.

**Job start date, next meeting and contract information:**

She did it. She took the job.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and kudos :)


	14. Fourteen

Vanessa grabs her perfume and places it into her overnight bag. She double checks she has everything before zipping up her bag and throwing it over her shoulder. She turns off her bedroom light before walking out of her bedroom. She smiles when she hears Johnny laugh at something Tracey is saying to him. She gets to the bottom of the stairs and her little boy looks over at her with his big blue eyes shinning up at her. Whatever happens over the coming days, weeks, months and years, he is going to be her main priority. He always has been and he always will be. The decision she has made is for him, not just for her.

“You off then?” Tracey asks with a smile.

“Yep. Are you sure you are going to be ok looking after him over night?”

Tracey rolls her eyes. “Yes, but after tonight I am going on strike.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes. Her sister may complain but she loves having Johnny all to herself. God knows what she is teaching him though. Vanessa often expects him to just come out swear words or start telling her the latest celebrity gossip. After all, a bedtime story to Tracey and Leyla is an article from a gossip magazine they love.

“Ok. I will call you when I get there.”

“Ok. Awesome.”

Leyla walks in and eyes Vanessa’s overnight bag. She lets out an over exaggerated sigh.

“I can’t believe you are going without me!”

“You have seen her twice since she left. I haven’t seen her once. It will be nice to get some alone time with her.”

“Alone time? I wonder what Charity will say about that,” Tracey says with a laugh.

“God knows,” Vanessa mutters as she thinks about the other woman. She has hardly seen or heard from Charity since she came over for dinner with the boys. She seemed a bit tense during dinner, but she assured Vanessa that she was just tired after a tiring shift in the pub. That was four days ago and they have only seen each other in passing. Vanessa knows Charity has a lot going on with another family fall out, this time between Debbie and Cain, but that doesn’t normally stop her from seeing Vanessa.

Vanessa hasn’t told her about the job yet. She will after her meeting today. She is going to text her later and ask if she can take her out for dinner tomorrow night when she gets back from Manchester. Having to drive to Manchester to meet Tony again is a pain. Apparently her new ‘boss’ will be there, and she will be meeting him at the same time. Charity doesn’t even know she is going to Manchester and staying overnight. But if today is anything like the last four days then she probably won’t even notice Vanessa isn’t around.

“I am sure she will be fine with it. When she finds out.”

Tracey frowns. “You haven’t told her yet?”

She had to tell her Dad, Leyla, Tracey as well as Rhona and Paddy the basics so they knew exactly why she was going to Manchester. She hasn’t told them everything about the job though. Mainly because she isn’t as fine tuned with the final details as she wants to be yet.

She may have also let it slip to Moira, but only because she is so excited.

“No. She’s been distracted with another family drama.”

“Yeah, Cain and Debbie. It right kicked off last night in the pub. They had a right barney. Something to do with Joe. I can’t quite remember what was said though.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes. Tracey was useless for gossip when Vanessa needed it the most. “I will text her and see if she and Debbie are ok….Ok….Wish me luck!”

                                              

                                                                                 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“So, shopping?”

Charity looks over at Chas. She looks remarkably chirpy considering for the third day in a row Charity has done sod all to get the pub ready for the day ahead. She is finding it extremely hard to find the motivation to do anything. Even the thought of shopping makes her want to go back to bed and curl up until the day fades to night.

“Not up for it, babe.”

“Oh, Charity, come on. You can’t seriously be moping around again. What is the matter with you?”

Charity huffs. “Nothing.”

Chas shakes her head and throws Charity’s jacket at her. “Put that on. We are going shopping. I need a new spring wardrobe.”

Charity groans. “Chas, please. I want to stay here and—”

“Mope around? Not a chance. You are starting to scare away the punters.”

Charity huffs again. “That’s hard to believe considering they are all out there and I’m out here.”

Chas walks over to her and grips her arm. She pulls her up off her chair and all but puts the jacket on her. “Not happening. Come on. We are going to go shopping, have a liquid lunch, and find a way to get your mind off whatever the hell is wrong with you. Is it Debbie and Cain?”

Charity nods. She can’t bare the thought of telling Chas what is going on with Vanessa. She is surprised Paddy hasn’t already. He said he wouldn’t tell Chas though and for once he seems to have stuck to his word. Charity doesn’t think any amount of shopping or alcohol could help her take her mind off Vanessa. Or the job. Or the fact that she is seemingly happy about moving two and a half hours away.

“Charity, move, car, now.”

Charity grabs her car keys as she glares at Chas. Moira walks in with their food delivery just as Chas walks out of the door. Charity sighs and wordlessly takes the clipboard off the top of the box.

“You ok?” Moira asks, shocked by the lack of snarky comment or insult from the other woman.

“I’m fine.”

“Vanessa seems excited…about the job.”

Charity slams the pen down onto the clipboard.  As if she has told Moira but not spoken to Charity. Charity gives Moira a fake smile as she tries to ignore the pain in her heart. How could she do this? Is she just planning on leaving without saying a word? Or is she going to break it to her over the dinner she has just text Charity about?

“Driving all that way for an interview is a bit too much if you ask me.”

“Well, if she wants it she is going to have to do that isn’t she.”

Moira lifts her shoulders. “Just seems to me that if they are that desperate for her they should be bending over backwards to show her that. Not the other way around.”

Charity waits for Moira to leave the living room before she lets out the breath she was holding. It comes out as more of a sob and she quickly tries to get her emotions in check. She is going to go shopping with Chas and she is going to forget about the woman who apparently has forgotten completely about her.

 

                                                                         - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“Vanessa, good to see you again.”

Vanessa smiles at Tony. She still isn’t overly keen on him, but he has offered her a lifeline she can’t refuse. “Same to you.”

“So, you have had a chance to think about the job then, yeah?”

“I have and it sounds perfect. I need to know what is involved, properly of course.”

“Of course. Andrew, who will be your boss, is on his way. He got stuck in traffic.”

“That’s fine. It was crazy getting here today. I am glad I set off a bit earlier than I should have done.”

Her first interview with Tony wasn’t the best and she is surprised that he is even here with her right now. She can’t even believe he offered her another job. A better job for her and Johnny and where she wants them to be. She took the job he offered on the agreement of another meeting and more details, because at the time Tony didn’t have the full work package available to him. He just remembered there was a job going that Vanessa could do. Even if he did repeatedly insist that she is too good for this job and the original job was more suited to her.

He then, as agreed, sent her an email with all the details of the job he was offering her. She waited for Charity and the boys to leave before she climbed into bed and excitedly read about her new job role. Instead of being in charge of a range of vets dealing with farm animals she was going to be supervising the farmers more.  Farmers have to abide by certain regulations and the animals have to be looked after in a certain way. Her role will be to educate farmers on how they can make their animals lives better and also making sure they are abiding by the law. She will only do the job two days a week, the rest of the time she will be at the vets.

Also, whilst she is checking up on the farmers and their animals, she will have trainee vets with her. She will not only be checking on the animal’s welfare, but she will also be training upcoming vets who also want to specialise in farm animals.

“The email was really detailed but there are a few questions that I need answering.”

“Go ahead.”

“I will definitely be based at the vets in Emmerdale?"

“Yes. This is a part-time role. Two days a week. You can choose what days you work. You need to do a three-month rota though, so we know where we can send you and when.”

“Ok. How far out will I be working?”

“Up to two hours away.”

“Ok, and how are the farms selected?”

“They have all joined up to our programme. It lowers their insurance and their vets bills. If you notice a potential problem, you report it to us with the instructions you gave them. If they deal with said issue, then they get their insurance pay-out. If they don’t and an animal suffers because of it then they don’t get a pay out.”

“It gives them more incentive to deal with it right away,” Vanessa says more to herself than to Tony.

“Yes. Also, they can contact you in an emergency.”

“Even the farms two hours away?”

“Yes, although I doubt that they will. They can call you for advice though. A lot of them favour their own vet. But because you are classed as a specialist having you on the books as their vet also lowers their insurance. They may call you, get some advice, and then call the vet they usually use. The one closest to them. We also advise that their vet calls you too to make sure you agree with their course of action.”

“Ok……..How many farms will I have under me though? You know, as their actual vet?”

“Twelve. Possibly sixteen. We have another four farms who are considering joining us.”

“Ok. How much is the pay?”

Tony laughs. “I was expecting that question first if I am being honest with you. Ten thousand a year more than what you are on now.”

Vanessa nods. Not that she is bothered about the money, but if she is going to be travelling up to two hours away then she will need the money for petrol and possibly accommodation depending on how long she is going to be at the farms for.

“You also get a company car.”

Vanessa grins. “I will turn that down. I love my little beetle and she is still in good shape. When she starts to play up though, I might take you up on that.”

He laughs. “So, Vanessa, do we have a deal? Can I draw up a contract? Andrew will be thrilled if the deal is done by the time he gets here. And that will put you right in his good books.”

 

                                                                                  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“So, what do you think of my new jacket?” Chas asks a still very quiet and very moody Charity.

“Lovely.”

“And my shoes?”

“Lovely.”

“And the gimp outfit?”

“Lovely.”

Chas sighs and slams her hands down on the table in front of her. Charity jumps and glares at Chas. “You haven’t been listening to a word I have said, have you?”

“I have,” Charity argues. “I wasn’t aware that had brought a gimp outfit today, but I am sure it is lovely.”

Chas laughs and shakes her head. “What colour is my jacket?”

“Blue.”

“No, that is the colour of the jacket you brought. Try again.”

“Red.”

“No……Try again.”

Charity throws her hands up in the air. “Chas, why are you doing this? You know my mind is elsewhere. Why are you trying to wind me up?”

“I am not!”

“You are! You have been all day.”

“I have not!”

“Really? Pointing at that fortune teller and very loudly suggesting I go and see her to see if there is a chance I might cheer up sometime in the future. Talk about embarrassing.”

Chas shrugs. “Well, it is true.”

Charity feels like she could smack her cousin right now. She knows she is in a bad mood but Chas hasn’t even bothered to ask her why. It’s like she almost doesn’t care. The only thing she has done is suggesting this day out as a means to cheer her up.  Thing is, no amount of shopping and alcohol is going to cheer Charity up. She can’t stop thinking about Vanessa. Or how much her life is going to suck once she leaves.

Because she will.

Everyone always leaves her.

“You aren’t being very supportive,” Charity snaps.

Chas lets out a bark of laughter. “I don’t know what I am supposed to be supporting you through, Charity. Every time I ask if you are ok you assure me you are fine and then carry on throwing your weight around. Although, I do think I have an idea….It’s Vanessa, isn’t it? I haven’t seen you few together in days.”

Charity sighs. “She’s going for a new job. In Birmingham.”

Chas seems shocked as Charity was when she first found out. “But…..Paddy hasn’t said anything. Are you sure you have that right?”

“Paddy is the one that told me.”

“Well……..How……Why?”

Charity runs her finger up and down the stem of her wine. She’s barely touched her drink whilst Chas has had three. Charity tells Chas all about the job, what Paddy told her, the email. and what has happened since. Including what Moira said today.

“So, she is driving down to Birmingham today?” Chas asks looking slightly confused.

“According to Moira.”

“And she hasn’t spoken to you about it at all?”

“Nope.”

“That doesn’t sound like Vanessa. If this is the job of her dreams, then surely she would have told you. You would think that she would be too excited to hold it all in.”

Charity thinks for a second before she asks Chas a question that has been going around and around in her mind since she first spoke to Paddy. “Chas, would you turn down the job of your dreams for Paddy?”

“Considering I don’t really have a job of my dream—”

“Hypothetically….”

“Yes. Without a moment’s hesitation.”

“Even if you had only been together for five weeks and have yet to use those three words, or even put a label on what is going on between the two of you?”

Chas laughs. “Charity, you and Vanessa have been together longer that five weeks.”

Charity quickly does the maths in her head and frowns when she comes to the same amount of time as she had before. “No, we haven’t.”

“Not physically, but you two have been a couple without the sex for two and a half years now. Think of all the things you have done together. The holiday to Ireland, the days out, the nights spent at each other’s houses. She was the first person you told about Bails. Like you said, your heart new what your head wasn’t ready to admit. Yes, you have only been sleeping together for a short period of time, but you two have been in love with each other for a hell of a lot longer than that.”

Charity’s heart clenches in her chest and butterflies swarm into her stomach as she thinks about what Chas has just said. She and Vanessa have been irrespirable for two years now. Not a day went by since they became friends where Charity didn’t want to see the other woman. Not a day went by where she didn’t crave the sound of Vanessa’s voice or the sweet melody of her laugh.

Is she in love with her?

Yes. She knows that for sure.

Is Vanessa in love with her?

She thinks about how Vanessa looks at her. How she touches her. How she kisses her. How her eyes shine, full of emotion every time she looks at Charity. Charity has never seen her look at anyone else like that. Not even Kirin.

What if Vanessa takes the job?

She will lose all of that.

She will lose the person she loves more than anyone she has ever loved before.

She can’t just let her go. She can’t.

“I can see you have a lot to think about. I am going to the loo before we hit the shops again.”

Charity nods as Chas gets up from their table and walks away. A rush of panic hits her and her heart races as she thinks about the possibility of losing Vanessa. She can’t. She won’t. Now she has her she is never going to let her go. That was the promise she made herself. And Noah.

She stands up and grabs her jacket and her bag. She isn’t going to lose her. She is going to fight for her. No matter what it takes.

“Waiter, can I have a pen please?”

 

                                                                                     - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Chas walks back to the table and frowns when she sees Charity is missing. A waiter then appears from nowhere and hands her a piece of paper. She curses under her breath as she reads the message Charity has left her. She needs to get hold of her cousin now before she wastes her time and fuel. She also needs to get hold of Vanessa.

 

                                                                                        - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

“I can’t believe you are here!”

Vanessa hugs her friend. “Carly, it is so good to see you!”

“Come in, come in.”

Vanessa follows her friend into her small apartment in Manchester.

“I have to say, Vanessa, I was surprised when you called me.”

Vanessa drops her bag on the floor by the living room doorway. “Well, it was about time I came to see you. And I had the interview, too.”

“Leyla told me all about it. First of all the job sounds great. Secondly, Charity Dingle? I never saw that one coming.”

Carly sits down, and Vanessa follows suit.

“Neither did I.”

“I mean, you two were really close when I left. And yeah, you may have looked at each other like you were the only two people in the room, but I never thought anything was ever going to happen between the two of you.”

Vanessa tuts. Everyone saw what was between her and Charity but her and Charity. “Well, stranger things have happened.”

Carly snorts. “I doubt it. So, how was the interview? Have you taken the other job they offered?”

“I have indeed.”

Vanessa then begins to tell Carly the ins and outs of the new job. She is so excited. She can’t wait to start the new branch of her career. A loud bang interrupts them and Carly sighs. “New neighbours. They honestly bang away all day.”

Vanessa pulls a face and Carly laughs.

“Not like that.”

They are then interrupted by a knock on the door. Carly sighs. “New, loud, neighbour is going to ask if I have any milk. Apparently, they are incapable of going to the shop and they drink copious amounts of tea a day. Come meet them. He is hot.”

Vanessa eagerly jumps up. Even though she has no interest in men anymore it doesn't hurt to have a look. They go to the front door and Carly swings it open. The man on the other side of the door is handsome. Not someone Vanessa would have ever gone for in her ‘straight days’. He is definitely Carly’s type though. He looks to be around the same age as Vanessa and he has a friendly smile.

“Hi Gerrard, how can I help.”

“Have you got any milk? The wife is gasping for a cuppa and we haven’t had time to go shopping yet.”

“What are you eating then?” Vanessa asks the man she has never met before.

“Take-outs. We only moved here four days ago. The flat needs doing up and we haven’t had much time for anything else.”

“They are newlyweds, so I am sure they do have time for a few other things,” Carly says, adding a wink on to the end for Gerrard’s benefit.

He laughs and goes to say something else but he is quickly interrupted by his phone going off. “It’s work. I will send her round for the milk.”

Carly shakes her head and laughs gently. Vanessa watches the man go before following Carly back into the kitchen.

“Ness, can you get the small one pint of milk out of the fridge for me and take it to them. They live next door on the left. I am bursting for the loo.”

Vanessa laughs. “Sure. Wait, please don’t tell me you buy the one pint milk just for them?”

Carly blushes. “Just trying to make them feel welcome.”

Vanessa hums. Carly wouldn’t sleep with Gerrard, knowing he is married, but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t go out of her way to please him. Carly loves men. She is addicted to them. Her millions of engagements prove that. Daddy issues, Vanessa thinks as she giggles and grabs the milk from the fridge, Carly definitely has Daddy issues.

Vanessa walks out of the small kitchen and back into the living room. She swings open the living room door and stops short when she sees who is on the other side. “Jill?”

Jill pales and takes a step back. Her jaw drops to the floor as she looks at Vanessa. “Vanessa……what are you doing here?”

“I am visiting a friend. You?”

“I…..I am too. He has just moved in to the flat next door.”

Vanessa frowns. She remembers Gerrard mentioning his wife wanting a cup of tea but not anyone else.

“Gerrard.”

Jill nods frantically. “Yes, that is him.”

Vanessa grips the milk tighter as a sinking realisation hits her. “How do you know him?”

“We go way back. Can I have the milk.”

“What is his wife called?”

“What?”

“His wife, Jill, what is she called?”

“Ahhhhh you got the milk,” Gerrard says as she re-joins them. “Thanks, Carly’s friend who’s name I do not know.”

“Vanessa. Vanessa Woodfield.”

Gerrard gives her a polite nod. “Well, thanks, Vanessa. Come on, darling, lets get a cup of tea down us before we carry on. No rest for the wicked.”

Vanessa gives Gerrard a polite, fake smile as she passes him the milk. “Enjoy your cuppa won’t you. Try not to choke.”

And what that she closes the door in Jill’s face. Carly is stood looking at her in shock and if it wasn’t for the sick rising in her throat she might actually laugh. She knew something was off when Jill always suggested meeting around Emmerdale or Hotten. Now she comes to think of it she doesn’t actually remember Jill saying where she lived. She was the other woman. Jill turned her into the other woman without her even realising it. Poor Gerrard. They were clearly planning a house move and his beloved wife was trying to have it off with her. She hates cheats. Her father cheated on her mother for most of their marriage and her mother never let alone else in again. She remarried but she did it for security for Vanessa, not because she loved the man. Her mother is miserable because of what her father did to her, and poor Gerrard could one day be the same.

She was probably some last minute experiment for Jill before she got married. She is even more thankful now that she didn't sleep with the other woman. She can't imagine how she would have felt had they slept together and then she found out Jill was due to get married. The temptation to go and tell Gerrard hits her and she is about to do just that when her phone rings in her pocket. She pulls it out. Chas’s name flashes on her screen. She debates ignoring the call but she knows Chas was planning on spending the day with Charity today. Chas knows about the job, Paddy told her. She doesn't however know why Charity has been acting weird. Chas also thinks there is more to it than the drama between Cain and Debbie.

She text Vanessa the night before and said she is going to take Charity out shopping to try and get it out of her. Paddy is acting super weird too. Vanessa did suggest she take the both of them but Chas said she may love the bones of Paddy but she would rather walk over hot coals than try and take him shopping. Not that a shopping trip would hurt him. Paddy hasn't updated his wardrobe in about five years.

“What the hell was that about?”

Vanessa ignores Carly and answers the call instead. “Hello?”

“Vanessa, we have a problem.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Charity is on her way to Birmingham!”

“What?”

“She is on her way to Birmingham, Vanessa. She is coming to get you.”

“But…..I’m not in Birmingham.”

“I know that! She is ignoring my calls though. I know she has Bluetooth in her car and she can see I am calling. You need to call her, Vanessa, and you need to call her now! She knows about the job!”

“She does! How?”

“Bloody Paddy! I love the man but he ain’t half got a gob on him. She also saw an email on your phone. You need to see if she will answer to you. I have rang her nearly twenty times now and she is just ignoring me.”

 

                                                                                             - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Charity sighs as she pulls into a service station. She has been driving for nearly an hour now and she is desperate for the loo. Chas must be fuming with her. She has called her nearly twenty times now. Charity doesn’t want to hear whatever Chas has to say though. She is more than likely going to give her a lecture about going after Vanessa or leaving her without a lift.  

Charity can’t just sit around and wait for Vanessa to come to her.

No, she won’t wait.

She needs Vanessa to know how she feels.

The only problem is she doesn’t know whereabouts in Birmingham Vanessa is. She didn’t ask anyone where her interview is or where she is going to be staying. She needs to find out somehow. She can’t drive around to all the hotels in Birmingham looking for her. She would if she really had to, but she can’t. There are over a hundred. Who knew there was such a popular demand to stay in Birmingham?

Her phone rings again and she sighs. She glances at the screen and her breath catches in her throat.

_Vanessa._

She grabs her phone in such a hurry that she drops it down into the foot well of the passenger seat. She curses and leans over to grab it as it starts ringing again.

“Vanessa!”

“Where the hell are you?”

Ok, not the response she was expecting. “Ummmm, at a service station.”

“Where?” Charity looks around and squints at the name of the service station. “Duckmanton. Near Chesterfield.”

Vanessa sighs, again, not the reaction she was expecting. “Hold on one second.” The line goes quiet and she hears Vanessa talking to someone else. “I will call you back in a minute.”

The line goes dead and Charity scowls at her phone. “Well, how bloody rude.” She stares at her phone until it rings again, nearly jumping out of her skin when it does. “Hello?”

“Have you got a sat nav?”

“Yeah.”

“I am going to give you an address. Put it in it.”

Vanessa gives her the address and Charity frowns. That is not Birmingham. In fact, it is no where near Birmingham. It is practically in the opposite direction. What the hell is going on?

“Meet me there, Charity.”

“Vanessa, I—”

“Meet. Me. There.”

 

                                                   - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Vanessa chews nervously on her bottom lip as she sits on a wall outside an abandoned pub. Before planning to meet someone somewhere you should always make sure the destination is open for business. It was her step-father’s weird motto and she always scoffed whenever he said it. Now she knows what he was going on about. She perks up as she hears a car come around the corner and sighs in disappointment when yet again it isn’t Charity’s car. If Vanessa’s quick-fire plan was right, then Charity should be there any minute now. Once she knew where Charity was, she knew she had to find a place that was near enough smack bam in the middle of the two them. This little village in the peak district was perfect. Charity only has a drive ten minutes longer than Vanessa’s. Vanessa did also think it had a pub they could grab a bite to eat in, but it turns out that is closed, as is the only coffee shop in the very small village. There is a B&B, but they don’t serve food other than breakfast and Vanessa is famished.

She can’t believe Charity was going to drive all the way to Birmingham to get her. She is both thrilled and furious. The fact that she knows about the job but hasn’t said anything is very unlike Charity. She is also furious with Paddy and she is going to make him suffer when she gets back. But Charity…….

God that woman is infuriating.

But god she loves her.

She hears the tell tale signs of another car coming around the bend. Her heart beats on overdrive as she sees Charity’s burgundy Peugeot come around the bend. Vanessa jumps off the small wall and waits for Charity as she parks her car next to Vanessa’s.

Charity’s door swings open and a very pissed off Charity climbs out of the car. “What the hell is going on?”

“Oh, nice to see you too.”

Charity slams her door. “Don’t play cute with me, Vanessa. Where the hell are we? This isn’t Birmingham.”

“Really?”

Charity scowls and leans against her car with her arms crossed across her chest. “I am not finding any of this funny, Vanessa.”

“Yeah! Well neither am I! I am very annoyed, actually.”

“What have you got to be annoyed about?”

Vanessa barks out a frustrated laugh. “Seriously? You speak to Paddy behind my back. You read my email. You shut me out—”

“I shut you out! Babe, you didn’t say anything to me.”

“Because I wanted to speak to them before I spoke to you. It is a big step, Charity. I can’t believe you weren’t going to speak to me about it but you were going to drive down to Birmingham to, I presume, barge in on my interview.”

Charity narrows her eyes. “Many would find that romantic, babe.”

Vanessa shakes her head. “But more would call it confusing.”

“Wanna talk about confusing! I think you are in Birmingham and then I find out you are in the middle of….” Charity looks around them. “Middle of an abandoned village from the looks of things.”

“I was in Manchester.”

“Manchester? What? Why?”

“I was with Carly. I was going to spend the night there. Have a girly catch-up. I haven’t seen her since she moved away.”

“Carly? What…..What happened to the job interview?”

“I went to see Tony and another man called Andrew too, also in Manchester. I went to Carly’s afterwards.”

Charity shakes her head and rubs her temples. “I am confused. Please tell me what the hell is going on before my brain explodes.”

Vanessa slowly walks towards the other woman. She stops about a foot away. Her arms ache to hold Charity within them. She looks so beautiful. All Vanessa wants to do is kiss her and confess her undying love for her, but she knows they need to talk it out first. She needs Charity to hear her.

“To cut a long story short Tony offered me a job, and I agreed to it based on a second interview. He agreed to meet me. He also brought Andrew, who will actually be my boss.”

“Right……So you met him in Manchester then?”

“Yes.”

“Did he offer you the job then?”

“Yes.”

“Did you…..did you take it?”

“He offered me a job and yes I took it.”

A rush of air leaves Charity and she leans forward, like she in winded. Vanessa walks over to the love of her life and urges her to stand up right. Charity’s eyes are brimming with tears and Vanessa could kick herself. She has hurt Charity. Something she swore she would never do. She is going to fix it though, and fast.

“Paddy spoke to you about the ‘dream job’, didn’t he?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I said no to the that job. I know what I want. And it’s not that.”

“What is it then?”

“You……You, Charity. I know we haven’t been together for long but we kind of have.”

Charity lets out a small laugh. “Chas said the same thing. That we have practically been a couple for two years without the sex.”

Vanessa smirks. “Which is a crying shame if you ask me.”

Charity laughs. “Definitely. So what job did you take?”

“One that doesn’t require me to move two and a half hours away. One where I will still be based in Emmerdale. One that means I can stay with you.”

“But, Ness….that was the job of your dreams and—”

“No, Charity, you need to let me speak.” She cups Charity’s face in her hands, making sure Charity maintains eye contact with her. “Yes, it was the job of my dreams. But my dreams also included having that job and being surrounded by the people I love. Not one without the other. And when I think about that job, when I realised I could have it……I……It didn’t make my heart skip a beat. It didn’t make my stomach swarm with butterflies. It didn’t make my legs weak. It didn’t make me so excited that I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It didn’t make me feel so god damn happy that I could burst. But you know who does make me feel those things?”

“Carol Vorderman?”

Vanessa lets out a burst of laughter. She will never live down tell Charity about that particular crush. “Nearly. I will Give you a clue…..She is blonde…..She is beautiful….She is funny…..She is fierce…..She is strong…..She is passionate…..She is clever…..She is sexy…..and she is phenomenal in bed……and she……I love her.”

A tear slips down Charity’s cheek. “You……you do?”

“Yes. Madly. I am madly in love with her.”

“I think…….No, I know she is madly in love with you, too.”

Vanessa closes the gap between them before Charity has a chance to blink. They kiss until Vanessa feels drunk. Drunk on Charity. Drunk on love.

“She is?” Vanessa asks as she pulls away.

“More than she has ever loved anyone.” Charity sweeps Vanessa’s hair behind her ears. “So much so that she was going to drive to Birmingham to tell you that she loves you, and she was willing to move there if that was what it took to be with you.”

Vanessa is crying. Full on body wracking sobs. Happy sobs though.

“We have a lot to talk about…..again.”

Charity laughs. “We do. Think there is any rooms in that B&B? We can talk and then…..No wait, sex, talk then more sex.”

Vanessa shakes her head and wraps her arms around Charity’s neck. “Is that all you think about?”

Charity smirks. “Maybe. Not heard you complaining though.”

Vanessa laughs before leaving forward to kiss Charity again. “Nope. Not complaints here. No complaints and no regrets.”

Charity swallows hard. “I love you.”

Vanessa beams. “I love you, too.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your wonderful comments and all the kudos <3


	15. Fifteen

The B&B is empty when they walk in. They waited around for nearly ten minutes before an old man walks into the reception. He asks how long they want the room for, charges them, gives them the key, and walks back into the little room he stumbled out of. 

Vanessa barely had the door open before Charity was on her. Kissing her. Touching her. Pulling her clothes off with an urgency Vanessa eagerly met. After a passionate bout of sex, where the word ‘love’ was mentioned more times than Vanessa could count, they lie in the small bed, cuddled up, basking in the after glow of their love making.

“So, this new job then, what’s it all about.”

Vanessa fills Charity in on what her new job will entail.

“You still get to work at the vets in the village then?”

“Yep.”

“But…..how often do you think you will have to travel away? Like to the farms two hours away?”

“Every couple of months I imagine. Unless they have an emergency or I find some problems that I think need resolving asap. I will have to do regular check-ups if that is the case.”

“Ok….Well, you know, Johnny can stay at mine on those nights. I know you feel bad asking Tracey and that to help out all the time.”

Vanessa can’t hold back her smile. “Really? Are you sure?”

“Yeah of course. I love having him round, the boys love having him around. And, when you finish at the farms you can come back to mine and I can give you a foot massage.”

Vanessa laughs. “You hate feet.”

That was one thing Vanessa was most surprised to find out about Charity, her weird phobia of feet. They were watching tv once and an advert came on, for a bed or something, and Charity nearly threw up at the feet hanging off the end of the bed. 

“Yours are cute…..As cute as feet can be.”

“Give me a foot massage now then.”

Charity shifts uncomfortably and Vanessa bites back a laugh. Charity would rather join her on one of the farms than rub her feet. 

“We don’t have any oil or moisturiser or anything. And……my hands….I…….I can’t, Ness. It’s gross.”

Vanessa throws her head back and laughs. “Oh, Charity. I would never, ever expect you to give me a foot massage.”

Charity kisses the top of Vanessa’s nose. “That, is why I love you.”

Vanessa’s laughter dies down. She still can’t believe Charity Dingle, thee Charity Dingle who is scared of love and commitment and swore down that she would never, ever fall in love again, loves her.

This amazing, beautiful, funny, snarky, sexy, strong, brave woman loves her. 

“I love you, too.”

She is never going to tire of hearing the words, or saying them. Charity’s smile and the way her breath hitches when Vanessa says them is quickly becoming one of Vanessa’s favourite things, which is quite the feat considering they only said those words two hours ago. 

“You must do, babe, to give up your dream job for me.”

Vanessa entwines her fingers with Charity’s and smiles. “I did do that, didn’t I?”

Charity smiles. “You did. I am so grateful. Even if I do feel a bit guilty.”

“Guilty? Why?”

Charity runs her hand down Vanessa’s naked back. “I…..It was your dream job. You used to sit there and tell me about it with this dreamy look in your eyes.”

“When I spoke about it thought what did I used to say?”

“That it was your dream job…..” Charity answers slowly.

Vanessa rolls her eyes. “What else?”

Charity goes to speak but stops herself. She then starts playing with Vanessa’s fingers. “I……You…..”

Vanessa laughs. “You didn’t really listen, did you?”

Charity pulls an apologetic face. “Babe, farm and vets stuff bores me half to death.”

One of Vanessa’s favourite things about Charity is how honest she is. She always says it how it is and Vanessa finds that so refreshing, and attractive. Even if sometimes she doesn’t want to hear what Charity has to say. Like the time she brought a blue dress she thought she looked amazing in. Charity took one look at her in it and told her she looked like she was trying to impersonate Diane.

Harsh, but Vanessa got her money back and Charity helped her find a dress she apparently looked ‘banging’ in.

Vanessa throws her leg over both of Charity’s and rests her chin on her chest. “I always wanted that job. It was my ambition in University, to get that job. I remember I used to tell my tutors and fellow students I wanted that job. They used to laugh and scoff. That job is only given to the best of the best.”

“Now I feel even worse.”

Vanessa gently pinches Charity’s side to reprimand her for interrupting her. “But, when I would lie in bed dreaming about it—”

“Not helping the guilt here, babe.”

“Charity, for the love of god would you let me speak”

Charity laughs and kisses Vanessa’s forehead. “I’m not stopping you.”

“Anyway! I always imagined I would get the job when I was in my fifties. I always thought I’d have a couple of kids by then and be happily married. To a man, of course.”

“Of course. Secretly gay Vanessa would have never imagined that scenario with a woman.”

“Exactly. I’m not in that position now though. My life isn’t where I thought it would be. Truth be told, I think I was clinging onto that dream because it was the only part of my future life I really wanted.”

Charity frowns. “What do you mean?”

“I didn’t want a husband and I didn’t want kids……I love Johnny. I love him more than I have and ever will love anyone. But I never wanted children. I think I hung onto that dream because the married with kids part was my mums dream for me. Dreaming about the job allowed me to have some semblance of control…..I think.”

“That’s…….very deep, babe.”

Vanessa snorts out a laugh. “It is. It really is.”

Charity grins down at her and Vanessa’s stomach fills with butterflies. Charity is so beautiful. She will never tire of looking at her face. 

“As long as you are sure?”

“Charity for the love of god I am sure. You are the one of the main reasons I turned it down, but my decision was also based around Johnny too. How it would affect him if I moved away. How hard it would be leaving everyone. I spent my entire childhood wishing my dad was around, and now he finally is—”

“Which is wonderful,” Charity says with as much sarcasm as she can muster. 

Vanessa narrows her eyes. “Behave…..Now I have him around and Tracey, I don’t want to lose that. Family means everything to me. I love being surrounded by them and I want Johnny to grow up surrounded by them, too.”

Charity sighs contently. “It all sounds perfect, doesn’t it. Us being together, surrounded by family and friends.”

Vanessa leans up and kisses Charity softly. “That’s because it is perfect.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Charity sinks deeper into the bath with a content sigh. 

Girlfriend. She has a girlfriend. 

Their night in the B&B was perfect. They opened up to each other more than they ever have before. Charity told Vanessa about her mother killing herself and her Dad taking her down to the beach every day to try and find her body. And Vanessa told Charity how she never felt an ounce of love from her own mother. 

They spoke about the boys. The dreams they have for them. Holidays they could go on in the future, and how they are going to navigate their lives around Vanessa’s new job. She will probably work her new job on a Monday and Tuesday. On those days Charity will have Johnny after nursery and Vanessa will come back to hers. 

Vanessa did say she will sometimes have to stay at a hotel for some of the trips that are two hours away depending on what time she finishes at the farms. Charity pouted, and Vanessa laughed, telling her she could manage without her for one night. 

Truth is, Charity isn’t sure she can. Now they don’t have to hide their relationship and now they have said those three, big words, Charity just wants Vanessa to be around her all the time. She wants to wake up next to her and she wants to fall asleep with her. Every morning. Every night.  Is it too soon to suggest moving in together though? More than likely. Even for her that would be moving at quite a fast pace.

Shaking off that thought, she climbs out of the bath and wraps a towel around her body. She walks to her room and quickly throws a pair of silk PJ’s on. She shoves her hair up into a bun and grabs her empty wine glass. Vanessa is coming over tonight, and she is bringing Johnny. Moses is with Ross, but Johnny is still very excited to be coming over apparently. 

Charity makes her way down the stairs and checks the time on her phone. Half six. Vanessa is eating dinner with Rhona, Paddy and the kids so they can talk about her new job and come up with a plan. She shouldn’t imagine that they will be much longer though. Johnny’s bedtime routine starts at seven and she knows Vanessa likes to stick to it as much as possible.

She walks into the living room and smiles at Chas who is sat on the sofa.

“Hey. How was your bath?”

Charity has never quite understood why people ask that. She’s never known what answer is acceptable either. “Full of water and bubbles. And far too hot.”

Chas tuts. “Ohhh wine, pour us a glass will ya.”

Charity does and pours herself another half a glass. She walks over to the sofa and sits down next to Chas. Chas is watching some cooking show and Charity rolls her eyes. Chas can’t cook to save her life, but because of these cooking shows she thinks she is the female Gordon Ramsey. 

Charity passes Chas her glass. She relaxes into the sofa cushions and lets out another big sigh. 

“You happy now?”

Charity smiles at her cousin. “I am. Sorry for ditching you.”

Chas shrugs. “I’m just glad she managed to get hold of you before you got to Birmingham. Although, that would have been funny.”

“For you maybe,” Charity mutters.

“What happened then? I have barely had time to speak to you since you got back.”

Charity fills Chas in on what happened when they met in the small village, their chat in the B&B, and their plans going forward.

“You used the L word then?”

“We did,” Charity says, unable to hold back her smile. “I……I do love her, Chas. So much.”

More than she has ever loved anyone truth be told. She thought Cain was the love of her life, and whilst she can’t deny that she loved him, because she did, what she felt for Cain doesn’t compare to how she feels for Vanessa. Not just the love part, but how happy, safe and content she is. 

With Cain they robbed cars, tried to fraud people, and got up to loads of other illegal things because that was exciting. It was exciting in a way their relationship wasn’t. They rarely had fun unless it was involving something illegal. She could never sit and just watch the tv with him without getting bored. Yet she can lie and watch the tv with Vanessa all day long. Vanessa’s running commentary is hilarious. She could happily listen to Vanessa babble on about what’s going on in whatever programme they are watching and never get bored. 

Vanessa’s mind excites Charity. The way she sees the world excited Charity. Her daft little ideas excite Charity. Her plans for grand days out and quiet nights in excite Charity. She’s never had that before. With anyone. She was also looking for something else. Something more. Because the people she was with just weren’t enough.

Vanessa is. 

Vanessa always will be.

“I know you do. And it is clear to see she loves you as well. So, what happens from here?”

“Well, we are officially girlfriends, so we do what normal couples do……What do normal couples do?”

Chas laughs and Charity grins. “Oh, this is going to be fun to watch.”

“What is?”

“You trying to have normal, well-behaved, adult relationship.”

“I wouldn’t say well-behaved. You have no idea how naughty Vanessa can be.”

Chas slaps Charity and pulls a face. “TMI, Charity. I don’t need to know. I’ve heard you two going at it enough to last a life time.”

“Sorry, not sorry,” Charity says cheerfully. She has unfortunately heard Paddy and Chas, too. Thankfully not as often as Chas seems to have heard her and Vanessa. It isn’t something she wishes to go through again. 

“Seriously though, you are going to try and make a proper go of this right? You are not going to mess her around?”

“Nope. I have even thought of…..Well, I know it’s too soon, but I was thinking that one day I would love for her to live here. With us. I’ve gotten used to waking up next to her, and I’ve only had the good fortune of doing it a few times.”

Chas’s expression softens. “You have kind of been dating for two years just—”

“Without the sex. Yeah, I know. Everyone keeps saying it.”

Chas pats Charity’s knee. “I agree that right now it is a bit too soon. But maybe you should wait a few months. Let her get settled into her job first, and then go from there?”

Charity smiles as she takes a sip of her wine. “That sounds like a good plan to me.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“So, they need a six month rota?” 

Vanessa nods at Paddy. “Three to four preferably, but I thought if we give them a six month rota it helps them and us. Obviously when one of us are on holiday and things like that my shifts will need to be adjusted accordingly.”

“And they will provide locums?”

“Free locums, yes.”

Rhona frowns. “How are they free? Locums normally cost us a fortune.”

“They pay them, so they are free for us. They have locums who are contracted to them rather than being self-employed. They are the free spirit types. They cover maternity leave and sickness and move onto somewhere else.”

Paddy burps before giggling. “Hippie locums.”

Vanessa lets out a breathy laugh. “Exactly.”

“And you are happy with the job and the hours you will be working?”

“I am, Rhona. I am actually really excited about it all. I can’t wait to get started.”

“And on the nights, you may have to stay at a hotel, who will have Johnny?”

“Charity said she will. If she can’t I imagine Tracey and Dad will help out.”

“So things between you and Charity are good, yeah?” Paddy asks nervously. 

“Yes, no thanks to you.”

He stutters and goes bright red. “Excuse me! She cornered me and threatened to shove something surgical up my…..you know…..if I didn’t tell her what was going on.”

Vanessa smirks. She can just imagine Charity doing something like that. 

“Well, you still should have kept your mouth shut.”

“To be fair to Paddy it did sound like she knew what he was going on about at first. I think Peal is also partly to blame.”

Vanessa shakes her head. “The joys of working with people who can’t keep their mouth shut.”

Tracey walks down the stairs followed closely by Frank. Both were over the moon she hadn’t taken the original job. Frank got a bit emotional when he told her the thought of her moving to Birmingham broke his heart. 

“Hey, vets, how’s the meeting going?”

Paddy gives Tracey a thumbs up. “We still have a lot to talk about. But, I think we will be fine.” He gives Vanessa a smile and she feels herself relax a bit more.

Her new job wasn’t just an upheaval for her but for the vets too. That’s why she wanted to do the rotas so far in advance. She will feel more comfortable knowing what will be happening in the next six to seven months and she knows Paddy and Rhona will too. They also get to pick what locums they would prefer to use so she is planning on spending the weekend looking through the companies on call locums and looking at their references. 

“Course you will,” Frank says as he opens the fridge and grabs himself a beer. He gestures to the pack of beer, to see if anyone else wants one. Paddy nods and the others say no. “You are all good at what you do, professional and hardworking. Once you get into the swing of things everything else will fall into place.”

“When will you know what farms you will have to go to?”

“I get a months’ notice, why?” Vanessa asks Tracey. 

“Because I will need to know when I need to help out with little man.”

“Well, hopefully a lot of the time I won’t need that much help with him. He can go to nursery until five anyway. And, Charity has said she will help out.”

Now she thinks about it Charity will need a copy of her rota so she knows what nights Vanessa might not be able to come home, and she will need to know that with more than twenty-four hours advance. They may have Bob and Matty helping behind the bar, and Vic and Marlon on hand when they need them, but Matty also works at the farm and Vic and Marlon kick off big time if their shifts are changed within twenty-four hours and Vanessa can’t be doing with their constant moaning. 

“Of course she has. Are you two going to be even more irrespirable now?”

Vanessa frowns at her sisters question. “Would it be a problem if we are?”

“No….I….I just don’t want to lose time with Johnny. I love having him.”

Vanessa softens. She was expecting another barrage of abuse aimed at Charity. Tracey still hasn’t come round fully to the idea of them being together. Leyla isn’t bothered. She finds the whole thing quite funny for some reason. Her dad hasn’t said much since the night she told them. The only thing he has said is if she hurts Vanessa, he will make her suffer. The usual dad threats. He may be a con man but he isn’t a violent man. No doubt the most damage he would do is glare at Charity across the bar. 

Vanessa isn’t worried about Charity hurting her though. Since they became friends she has never done anything to hurt Vanessa. She has tried to hurt the people around Vanessa but not Vanessa herself. She was always was very sorry about if actions affected Vanessa. Since they have been together she has treated Vanessa like she is the most precious person on this earth. 

Charity has changed. It might not seem obvious to most of the villagers seeing as she still mouths off at them and insults them, but she has. She really is trying to be a better person, a better mum, a better friend, a better relative. She is starting to think more before she acts. She is growing. Not that Vanessa ever wanted her to change. She did that off her own back. 

Having Bails sent down and finding Ryan helped. Having that monster put away, not having to look over her shoulder and fearing he would come after her again, means Charity is now more relaxed and happier than she ever was before. And of course, the joy in finding Ryan was still alive, well, Vanessa doesn’t think there are enough words to describe how much that has impacted Charity. 

Vanessa knows that Charity will always be the snarky, bitchy, woman the villagers love to hate. But when she is with Vanessa and the kids she is the real Charity. Vanessa loves the fact that she gets to see the real woman. Not the hard faced one everyone sees. It is like she has a secret piece of Charity that no one else has ever or will ever have. 

“I won’t stop you having him, Tracey. He adores you. Charity wants to have him too because she and the boys love him, and so I have an excuse to go over to hers.”

Rhona laughs. “She always has an ulterior motive.”

Vanessa can’t argue with that. She isn’t bothered this time though. She doesn’t mind going back to Charity’s after a long day travelling and walking around several farms. Snuggling up with Charity after sharing a nice, long bath sounds perfect. 

“How long do you think it will be before the two of you move in together?” Frank asks.

Vanessa goes to answer but quickly closes her mouth. She has no idea how to answer that. They have only just said ‘I love you’ and started using the term ‘girlfriend’. Moving in together is a huge step that neither of them are ready for yet.

“You have kind of been dating without the sex for like five years now,” Paddy adds as he takes a large sip of his beer. 

“Two, actually,” Rhona corrects him.

“I…….we………it might be a bit too soon.”

“Do you think you will move into the pub?”

Vanessa glares at Paddy. “I just said it is a bit too soon for that conversation, Paddy. And, for the love of god, don’t say anything to Charity! I don’t want you freaking her out again.”

Paddy taps the beer car against his head and then points it at Vanessa, almost like a salute. “I bet she is already thinking about it.”

Vanessa scoffs. There is no way Charity is thinking that far ahead. No way.

                                                                     - - - - - - - - -- - - - - -

 

“They should be back soon, right?” Chas says.

“Yeah I would imagine so.”

“Paddy is drunk. He has just sent me a message and it makes no sense.”

Charity snorts out a laugh. “Does he every make much sense?”

Chas glares at her cousin. “Leave my Paddy alone.”

Charity rolls her eyes. They are the strangest couple but somehow they make it work. She can’t imagine seeing either of them with anyone else ever again. 

“I’ll leave your Paddy alone when—”

She is interrupted by the sound of someone singing. Very loudly and very out of tune. It takes a second for her to recognise the voice. Paddy. He sings every morning in the shower. It was entertaining when he first moved it but now it just drives her mad. 

“Oh great,” Charity mutters as Chas jumps up off the sofa to help her beloved into the living room. 

He stumbles into the living room door and smiles when he sees Chas. He smiles even wider when she sees Charity. He squints and points at her. “We were just talking about you.”

Vanessa appears from behind him. She looks a bit panicked and that makes Charity curious. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah! About how you are going to help with Johnny. It is very nice, caring behaviour, Charity……For you.”

Chas laughs and Vanessa seems to relax.

“Well, I am her girlfriend. I want to help.”

Vanessa gives her a big, beautiful smile. 

“And we were talking about you two living together one day. I recon it will happen within three months. I give it three months.”

Charity stills and Vanessa pales. Chas tuts and grabs Paddy by the arms. “You need to learn when to keep that mouth shut , Paddy!”

Chas gives Vanessa a small smile. “Sorry. I will take him upstairs. Come on you big lump.”

Paddy waves as he follows Chas on unsteady legs, seemingly unaware of the awkward situation he has just put the other women in. 

Vanessa waits until he is out of the room before she runs over to Charity, talking a million miles a minute. “I swear he brought it up. I didn’t say anything. Well, I said it’s too soon for that kind of conversation. No one else but Paddy spoke about it. He seems to think it is going to happen overnight. But he is drunk and—”

Charity stops Vanessa’s rambling in the best way she knows how. She kisses her. She kisses her until she feels Vanessa’s body relax underneath her hands and lips. She slowly pulls away and smiles as Vanessa’s lips follow hers. 

“Babe, I know what he is like. Don’t worry. It is a conversation we need to have. But not yet…..I……I was thinking about it earlier, actually.”

“You were?”

“Yes. And, as much as I would love to have you here every morning and every night. As much as I would love to eat breakfast and dinner with you everyday and finish my shift knowing you will be here, it is too soon. You have your new job to wrap your head around first.”

Vanessa hums in agreement. 

“And we need to get used to this, to us, being more than just friends and the whole world knowing that. Being official girlfriends now,” Charity says with a teasing lit to her voice, making Vanessa smirk. “And we need to just…..not rush anything. I rushed into all of my other relationships. I want to do this properly. I want a holiday first and date nights and all that.”

Vanessa smiles. “I want all that too. And you are right, the next few months are going to be manic. I want everything in both of our lives to be settled before we make that next step.”

Charity bends her knees slightly so she is eye level with Vanessa. “But you do want that step one day, yeah?”

Vanessa smiles and kisses her girlfriend softly on the lips. “Yeah I really do.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your lovely comments and all the kudos :)


	16. Sixteen

Eighteen Months Later

Vanessa stirs as she feels a line of kisses trail slowly up her naked back. She grins and stretches. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” the lips mutter against her shoulder blade. “What are your plans for today?”

Vanessa giggles. “Nothing much. You?”

“Nah, nothing important. I might do a bit of shopping and go and paint the town red.”

Vanessa rolls over and raises an eyebrow at the woman she is going to spend the rest of her life with. Today, she is promising to just do that in front of their family and friends. She can’t ever remember being this happy. Or excited. Today is going to be the best day of her life. 

“Nothing important……”

Charity grins. “Ok, so I am doing something important today.” Her expression softens as she looks down at Vanessa. “I am marrying the love of my life.”

Vanessa’s throat tightens as her whole-body fills with love. She always thought Cain was the love of Charity’s life. That deep down she wished for him back, but it turns out she was wrong. 

Thankfully.

“Wow, she must be something special to have managed to snag a catch like you.”

Charity laughs. “Oh, she is special alright. Beautiful, kind, funny, intelligent, caring, a brilliant mother, and she can do things with her tongue that are so good they should be illegal.”

Vanessa wiggles her eyebrows. “Do you want a preview of things to come tonight?”

Charity sighs and runs her finger down Vanessa’s nose. “I would love to, but I’ve got to get back to the pub. Chas is going to kill me when she realises that I snuck over here last night.”

Vanessa grips the back of Charity’s head and pulls her down into a chaste kiss. “Well, we don’t want that. You have a wedding to get ready for.”

Charity smirks. “So do you. Soon to be Mrs Vanessa Dingle.”

Vanessa giggles. “I bet no one ever thought we’d actually get married. I think they thought we would be engaged forever.”

Charity mocks looking offended. “Excuse me! I didn’t put all that effort into my proposal for us to stay engaged, Vanessa.”

Vanessa smiles dreamily. “It really was the most perfect proposal. Perfect for us anyway.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The Proposal

“Right, Chas, are you sure everything is sorted?”

“Yes, love. Matty and Bob are on the bar. They won’t need anything from you. Unless the pub is on fire, of course. Noah is with Samson. I’ll drop Johnny and Moses to Frank on the way to the B&B.”

“And you are Paddy are happy to go to the B&B?”

“Yes.”

“And you haven’t told Paddy the exact reason why you are staying there?”

“I said you wanted a night in with Vanessa and we could do with some alone time too. Poor guy. I’m shattered. I think he thinks he is on a promise, but I will more than likely be fast asleep by half seven.”

Charity laughs. “Poor Paddy. Thank you for not telling him though. I don’t trust him and his mouth around Vanessa.”

Vanessa and Charity had been together for just six months when Charity finally decided enough was enough and they needed to live together. She was sick of having half her and the boy’s possessions here and half there, and the same for Vanessa and Johnny. 

Also, nothing was a mood killer like knowing your girlfriend’s father was sleeping down the hall. Well, it wasn’t a mood killer, it didn’t stop them having sex, but it still felt odd at their age to be worrying about a parent overhearing them. 

Vanessa took to her new job like a duck to water. She very rarely stayed over night in a hotel, opting to come back to the village to be with Charity and the boys. She was exceling in her new position though. It took some time to adjust. She was tired a lot at first and she often didn’t know if she was coming or going, but once she got adjusted to the change everything was fine. It was like the job was made for her. And the clients are over the moon with Vanessa. They all love her. A few too much for Charity’s liking. 

She planned on asking Vanessa to move in on a sunny Sunday afternoon. They had planned to go on a picnic with the boys and she was going to do it then. Charity obviously asked Chas and Paddy if they were ok with it and told them when she planned on asking Vanessa. Paddy, being Paddy, got Saturday and Sunday confused. So when Vanessa walked downstairs that Sunday morning Paddy brought it up, thinking Charity had already asked her. Vanessa didn’t say anything though. Not until they got to the park.

Paddy also ruined two romantic nights out Charity had planned by telling Vanessa were she was going to take her, and he also ruined one of Vanessa’s birthday presents. He can keep a secret for anyone, but when it comes to Vanessa Paddy just can’t seem to control himself. 

“Are you nervous?”

“Petrified.”

“She will say yes, Charity. That woman is crazy about you.”

Charity nods slowly. “Does everything look ok? Do I look ok?”

Chas looks Charity up and down. She is wearing the outfit she wore when she and Vanessa first kissed, her strappy orange top with her white jacket over it, her favourite pair of skinny jeans, her earrings and some boots. Vanessa’s favourite outfit on her.

In fact, this whole night is centred around their first kiss. Charity doesn't count the drunken kiss as their first and neither does Vanessa. It has been a year since they first kissed. Vanessa mentioned it that morning. Charity acted like she had forgot, which got her an eye roll in response. She isn’t the most romantic so special dates don’t tend to stick in her mind. Vanessa is a first though. She remembers the date they first kissed, the first time they slept together, and the day they officially became girlfriends. 

Chas then looks at the table. Charity has a single candle ready to be lit in the middle of the table set for two. The cottage pie, Vanessa’s favourite is in the oven cooking away nicely. They have soup for starters and a cheesecake for dessert. Although, Charity is hoping Vanessa will want to eat her for dessert. 

“It all looks wonderful, as do you. She is going to be so surprised. When is she getting here?”

“In about twenty minutes.”

Vanessa has gone out for a drink with Tracey. Tracey lured her out saying she needed some sister time. Tracey knows what is going on and much to Charity’s surprise, she is delighted. They have grown closer since Vanessa got the job. Charity would even say she can call Tracey, Rhona and Leyla friends. Frank also knows and gave his blessing. Again, much to Charity’s surprise.

“Well, I will take the boys to Franks and then head over to the B&B. Text me the second she answers.”

Charity rolls her eyes. “I will do.”

Chas gives her cousin a quick hug. “Good luck, Charity.”

“Thanks, babe.”

Charity waits for Chas and the boys to leave before she starts prepping their starter. She wants their starter to be on the table by the time Vanessa arrives. And just as she is placing Vanessa’s bowl onto her place setting, the love of her life walks into the pub. Vanessa’s smile quickly turns into confusion when she sees the table.

“Oh….are Paddy and Chas—”

“Nope. This is for us.”

Vanessa drops her bag onto the sofa. She walks over to Charity with a huge smile on her face. She grasps Charity’s hips in her hands and leans up to give her a soft kiss. Charity can taste rum which means Vanessa has had a cocktail. Hopefully just the one. 

“And what is this exactly?” Vanessa asks as she pulls away. She maintains her grip on Charity’s hips. She always has to be holding Charity or touching her in some way. Charity always thought it would be suffocating to have a partner like that, but she loves it. Vanessa knows she does too. 

“Our first kiss anniversary. Our kissaversary.”

As expected Vanessa throws her head back and laughs. “Very romantic.”

“You know me, babe. I’m the most romantic woman there is.”

Vanessa laughs again and nods towards the table. “This looks good and I am starving. Can we?”

Charity nods. She pulls out Vanessa’s chair and gestures for her to sit down. Vanessa does so and their night begins. The soup is delicious. There are definitely some benefits of having two stroppy chefs on hand whenever Charity needs them. The main is just as good. Charity didn’t cheat with the main like she did with the dessert and the starter. She has been slaving over the cooker all day making it just perfect. Just how Vanessa likes it. 

They talk about the boys. How their respective days at work have been. They talk about their upcoming holiday to Spain and how excited they all are. By the time they have finished their main Vanessa is claiming to be stuffed and Charity is full of nerves. 

“Let me put the dishes away, babe, and then we can go and relax on the sofa.”

Vanessa stands up. “I’ll help.”

“No!” Charity shouts making Vanessa jump. She needs Vanessa sitting down for this bit. “Please, babe, I want to do this. For you.”

Vanessa smiles and sits back down. “I suppose I can leave it to you this one time. Seeing as I do the cleaning up most of the time anyways.”

Charity laughs. She makes quick work of tidying up the table and their dirty plates. Once she has done that she turns to find Vanessa looking at her with an expression full of love and desire. She needs to do this now, before Vanessa drags her off to bed. 

She pats her back pocket and makes sure the ring is still there. She then grabs an unopened bottle of wine and hands it to Vanessa. “You can open this if you like, babe. Pour us both a glass?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Vanessa becomes preoccupied with that, which is just what Charity wanted. Time to execute her plan. She quickly takes out one of her earrings. She checks Vanessa is still dealing with the wine. She then pulls the ring out of her pocket and drops to her knees, by the cooker. 

She shoves the ring and the earing under the cooker. “Babe! You are not going to believe this!” She makes an act of looking under the cooker and banging on the floor. 

Vanessa laughs. “What? Why are you down there?”

“My earring has only fallen out and fallen underneath the cooker.”

She hears the chair scrape back. “You are joking?”

“Nope! I am never wearing them again.”

Vanessa laughs as she gently rubs Charity’s back. “Shall I get the wooden spoon again?”

Yes! She is doing exactly what Charity wants her to do. “Please, babe.”

Vanessa giggles as she walks to the utensil holder. “I can’t believe this has happened twice. What are the chances?”

Charity mock tuts. “It would only happen twice to me.”

Vanessa smiles as she gets down onto her knees too. “Want me to do the honours again?”

“Well, you saved the day last time.”

Vanessa grins and leans down. She starts poking around with the spoon and much to Charity’s dismay she gets the earring quite quickly. She immediately sits up and holds it up triumphantly. 

“There.”

Charity swallows hard and takes a deep breath. “There is something else under there, Vanessa.”

Vanessa frowns. “Is there?”

Charity just nods. 

Vanessa hums and bends forward again. “I can’t see………..Oh. My. God.” She uses the spoon to pull out the subtle, blue diamond ring. “Charity…..is that…..”

Charity picks up the ring. Her hand is shaking as she gently urges Vanessa into a kneeling position. 

“It is.”

“You’re—”

“I am…..” Charity takes a deep breath and grips Vanessa’s hands in hers. “Vanessa, you….you deserve a medal for putting up with me, my kids and my crazy family. You do it so gracefully and you never let anything faze you. You are brave, courageous, funny, sexy, passionate, a brilliant mother to all of our children, feisty, slightly naughty, and every day with you is exciting. I love waking up with you. I love coming home to you. I love sharing dinner with you. I love going to bed with you, to sleep and to be a bit naughty,” she says with a wink, making a teary Vanessa laugh. 

“You know I’m not good with my words, but you have changed me and my life. You have brought me so much happiness. I smile all the time. For no reason. Because I am that happy I just can’t hold it in. You are my lover, my soulmate, my best friend and the love of my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. As my wife, if you will?”

“If I will what?” Vanessa asks with a teasing laugh, making Charity roll her eyes. 

“Marry me?”

Vanessa looks down at the ring before answering, her voice thick with emotion.

“Yes. Yes. Yes, Charity. A million times yes.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Charity clinks her spoon against her glass to get the attention of their guests. She looks around at the smiling faces and she is suddenly filled with nerves. Despite what some may thing, public speaking isn’t really her forte. Well, not when it comes to her feelings and being all mushy it isn’t. 

Vanessa wanted them to do speeches though. Charity had hoped a funny speech from Tracey about Vanessa and one from Chas about her would be enough. But oh no, she should know by know that Vanessa wants the full wedding day experience. 

To say Vanessa has been a bit bridezilla about the wedding is an understatement.  Vanessa cried for hours after they got engaged. Happy tears of course. Charity thought they would wait a few months before they even thought about planning the wedding. She should have known better. The next day Vanessa brought the wedding scrapbook she started as a kid into bed and started planning their wedding. 

They chose a hotel that they could get married in and have their reception in. Charity chose to wear a white suit instead of a dress. From the desire shinning in Vanessa’s eyes she most definitely appreciates Charity’s choice of outfit. Vanessa is wearing a stunning white dress that hugs her figure perfectly. Charity hasn’t seen anything as beautiful as Vanessa in her wedding dress. 

Everything has been planned to perfection from start to finish. Charity realised early in the planning stages how much more fun it was planning a wedding when you actually love the person you are marrying. Seeing Vanessa so excited about it all has been her favourite part though. It is all Vanessa has spoken about, but not in a way that Charity would normally find annoying. Her excitement has been contagious. Knowing she is the reason that Vanessa is so happy has filled her with more joy than she knew what to do with. 

“Hi, everyone. First of all I want to say thank you for coming. And the usual the bridesmaids looks lovely as do the page boys and the ushers and all that.”

Everyone laughs and Vanessa rolls her eyes. They gave their bridesmaids Tracey, Chas, Debbie, Leyla, Sarah and Rhona and their ushers and pageboys, Johnny, Moses, Ryan, Noah, Leo, Paddy and Marlon their presents yesterday. Charity refused to waist precious time at their wedding handing out the gifts Vanessa chose for them. 

“Today has been amazing. I think you can all agree that Vanessa has done a stellar job of planning this wedding.” Charity waits for everyone to say ‘here here’ before she carries on. “To say I never thought I would ever get married again is an understatement. I thought I was done with love and relationships and everything that comes with them. So, imagine my surprise when I fell not only madly in love with Vanessa, but that I realised I wanted to marry her, too.”

Everyone laughs again. 

“I……I haven’t had much luck in my life when it has come to relationships. I really haven’t. Some of that has been my fault. But now I look back, I realise it is because I never found anyone who got me. Not like Vanessa does. She gets me like no one ever has before. And I trust her. I have never trusted anyone in the way I trust Vanessa.”

She smiles down at her beautiful new bride. “I love you so much, Ness. I love your weird sense of humour. I love how much you love my kids. I love how caring you are. I love how fierce you are. I love how fearless you are when it comes to protecting those you love. I love how good a mother you are. I love how passionate you are about your job, even when you are knackered from driving here there and everywhere. But mostly, I love how much you love me. No one has ever loved me in the way that you do, Vanessa. I will forever cherish that, and you. I promise.”

Vanessa stands and wraps her arms around Charity’s waist, giving her a kiss that their kids probably didn’t want to see. Charity sits back down, and Vanessa takes the stand, so to speak. 

“I want to just reiterate what Charity said about you guys coming here today. We really appreciate it. I know it has only been a bit manic since she proposed but you guys have been great in helping us plan for our big day. Thanks to Rhona and Chas for organising our brilliant joint hen do. From what I can remember it was quite the night.”

Charity and all their guests laugh. It was a good night. Charity didn’t get drunk, but boy Vanessa did. She got so drunk that Charity just tucked her up in bed still wearing her dress. She was a passed out dead weight and Charity wasn’t going to even try and tackle getting her skin-tight red dress off her. 

“From the second Charity and I became friends I knew there was something different about her. Or, more to the point, how I felt when I was around her. Unfortunately, it took two years for me to realise that what I felt when I was around Charity was love. We had a lot going on though. I think had we started this relationship any earlier it may have not survived. Charity needed to get the monsters out of her closest and well, I needed to come out of my own closet.”

Everyone laughs again.

“But since we have been together, my life has improved tenfold. My days are now full of laughter and love. I honestly can’t remember ever being this happy. And not just me, Johnny too. Charity, you have welcomed me and my little boy in to your world with open arms. He loves you. He loves you so much and I know the feeling is mutual. Debbie, Ryan, Noah and Moses, you have all accepted Johnny as if he was your brother from birth. He loves you guys and so do I. All of you.”

Charity watches as Vanessa takes a sip of her champagne, her hand shaking slightly. 

“I…..I never thought I would get married to be honest. I never thought I would find the love of my life. I read somewhere though that the love of your life is often the person you last expect it to be. Well, isn’t that the truth,” Vanessa says with a laugh. “Charity, you are trouble. You are reckless. You are dangerous sometimes. You speak without thinking. You are rude. You are silly. You are quite frankly a nightmare at times.”

“Thanks, babe.”

Vanessa laughs. “But I wouldn’t change you for the world. I love the fact that you are trouble, reckless and dangerous. It means our life is never going to be dull. I love that you never hold back and sometimes the words spill out of your mouth before you have a chance to stop them because you are so passionate about what you believe in. I am sorry to anyone she has been rude to in here….So, all of you, but I think her little jabs are hilarious.”

Charity lets out a shocked laugh. She knows Vanessa thinks some of the insults she throws around are funny. Even when she does scold her for saying them, she also lies in bed and giggles about some of the things she has said. Charity never expected her to admit it out loud though. 

“I love how silly you can be, especially with the kids. You honestly make them and me laugh more than anyone else can. You know exactly what to do and say to make us all laugh and I love that no matter how bad a mood I am in, or how tired I am, I know you are going to make me feel better. And you may be a nightmare but you are my nightmare. Like I said, I wouldn’t change you for anything. I love you. Every. Single. Beautiful. Amazing. Strong. Passionate. Cunning. Silly. Precious. Inch of you.”

Vanessa raises her glass. “To my beautiful wife and soulmate, Charity Dingle.”

Everyone raises their glasses before Zac stands up. “No, no, To Charity and Vanessa. Mrs and Mrs Dingle. It is an honour to be here today. Even if we thought the two of you would never actually set a date and find a venue.”

Charity points at Vanessa. “That was her fault.”

Vanessa laughs in shock. “Excuse me! I think you will find it was your fault”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The Day they finally made their decision

 

“Charity, this is ridiculous,” Vanessa says as she walks into the backroom with a huff. She throws her bag and jacket down onto the sofa and stands there with her hands on her hips, glaring at her fiancé.

Charity looks around the room and then back at Vanessa, completely clueless as to what is wrong with her woman. “What?”

“This. Is Ridiculous.”

“What. Is Ridiculous.”

“Us, not having a date or a venue for the wedding. We both have sorted out what we are wearing. We have the suits for the boys pre-ordered, we have our bridesmaids’ dresses. We have everything but the venue and date sorted.”

“Well, you have been busy with work.”

That was the wrong thing to say. Vanessa goes red and starts huffing. “I have made time for us to sort this out. You are the one who keeps putting it off!”

“I do not!”

“You do! We went and visited all those hotels and we chose two. Then, you started faffing and saying we needed more money—”

“Which we do.”

“We don’t! We have saved enough. And I told you that. You said, ‘that’s great, babe.’”

“Oh yeah.”

“Then I suggested we sit down and talk about setting a date.”

“And I made time for that and you went out and got drunk with Tracey. Then you were poorly.”

“Oh pardon me for having the flu.”

Charity rolls her eyes. “Then you got busy with work.”

“Don’t keep blaming my work! You are equally as busy with one family disaster or another.”

Charity huffs. “They are a nightmare." And idea hits Charity. "Babe, what are you doing right now?”

Vanessa eye’s light up. “Nothing!”

Charity smiles and taps the table. “Then let’s set a date and book the venue. The two venues we picked know they are our favourites. They are both eager to have us.”

Vanessa practically runs to the table. She kisses Charity quickly before she sits down next to her. Charity fires up her laptop and takes Vanessa’s hand in hers. “Are you ok now?”

Vanessa lets out a big sigh. “Yeah. Sorry. It was just Pearl got to me.”

“Pearl?”

“Yeah, she asked why we haven’t set a date yet and then she said you are probably getting cold feet.”

Charity cups Vanessa’s face in her hands. “Vanessa, I am not getting cold feet. Nothing on this earth will stop me marrying you. Like you said we have everything else sorted near enough. I can’t wait to marry you, and within the hour we will know where and when we are getting married, ok?”

Vanessa nods. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Now, how do we decide between the two venues. Heads or tails.”

Vanessa laughs. “I can’t believe I am marrying you.”

Charity winks. “You best believe it, babe.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“You ok, Vanessa,” Debbie asks as she joins her step-mum by the bar. The party is now in full swing and Vanessa can’t help but smile as she watches her family and friends dance the night away. 

“I’m fine, just taking it all in.”

Debbie leans against the bar and looks out at the partying crowd. “It has been a beautiful day.”

Vanessa smiles. It really has. It has been everything she wished for and more. Everyone was happy. There has been no drama, which is quite an achievement in a room full of drunk Dingles. The kids have had a blast. Johnny and Moses look so adorable in their little outfits. The bridesmaids all look beautiful and their ushers look handsome. 

It’s been perfect. 

The moment she will remember forever though was seeing Charity for the first time, being led towards her by Noah. Noah cried when Charity asked him to give her away. So did Vanessa. Vanessa was nervous when it came to asking her dad, but he was over the moon. He likes Charity now, and although they still don’t see eye to eye on everything, they seem to get on much better now. Tracey and Leyla adore Charity. Now they have gotten to know her after deciding to ‘give her a chance’ they think she is the funniest person on the planet. Tracey has even popped around a few times to see Charity, not Vanessa, at the pub.

“Mum looks happy,” Debbie says softly. “I have never seen her look this happy before.”

Vanessa smiles from ear to ear. “I’m glad. That is all I want you know, to make her happy.”

Debbie rubs Vanessa’s arm. “And you do. Just…..Don’t ever give up on her. She is hard work. She will try and push you away. Just…..fight for her, Vanessa.”

“I will. Don’t you worry, I will.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“So, was it everything you imagined it to be?” Charity asks as she leans down and places a soft kiss against Vanessa’s breastbone, right above her heart.

“God, so much more. It was perfect. Seeing you for the first time with Noah…..God, you take my breath away.”

Charity’s heart thumbs so hard in her chest she thinks it may burst out. Vanessa is so open with how she feels. Charity is trying to be the same but being so open doesn’t come as easy to her. She does however tell Vanessa every day how much she loves her. She may not say it as openly as Vanessa does. Vanessa will say it instead of thank you when Charity makes her a cup of tea. But she does make sure to say it every morning, every time Vanessa goes off to work, every time they end a phone call, and she makes sure it is the last thing Vanessa hears before she falls asleep.

She has even started saying it to her kids more. Moses and Johnny think it is hilarious. Noah just grunts but he often smiles too when he thinks Charity isn’t looking. Ryan says ‘I know you do’ and he has said it back a few times, and Debbie just rolls her eyes. She can see it means the world to all of them though. 

“Me. You’re the one who looked a million dollars in that dress. All I wanted to do was rip it off you.”

Vanessa grins. “I know. I could see it in your eyes.”

That’s another thing that separates Vanessa from everyone else she has been with. She can read Charity like a book. 

“You could have come with me then to the loo after the ceremony, babe. I’ve been suffering all day with a bad case of lust.”

Vanessa throws her head back and laughs. “Charity, I wasn’t going to sneak off to the loo for a quickie on our wedding day. Besides, you would have probably ripped my dress.”

Charity can’t deny that’s true. Vanessa looks beautiful in her sweatpants. Charity can’t even think of a word to describe how amazing Vanessa looked in her wedding dress. 

“Wouldn’t have been fun though, trying to explain that one away.”

Vanessa laughs and tangles her legs with Charity’s. “What a day. And a night.”

Charity runs her hand down Vanessa’s naked back. “The night was pretty spectacular. Whoever said sex gets boring when you are married was lying.” Charity’s body was still humming with pleasure nearly half an hour after they finished their latest bout of love making. 

They were all over each other from the second the door to their honeymoon suite closed. It is now nearing three-am and Charity knows she wouldn’t mind one last roll in the sack, but Vanessa’s eyes are dropping, and they have to be up in five hours to catch their flight to Mauritius. 

One week of sun, sea, sand and sex with Vanessa. What could be better?

The boys are staying with Frank, who has moved into Dale View with the new woman in his life, Monica, and Noah is staying with Samson, Sam and Lydia for the week. They have promised the boys a holiday in Spain in the summer to make up for not taking them on their honeymoon. Charity laughs as she thinks back on the conversation she had with Noah and how stroppy he was about it. Until she told him she and Vanessa probably won't be leaving their beach hut all that much. That soon shut him up. 

“No regrets though, babe?”

Vanessa gives Charity a sleepy smile. “None.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.” Vanessa grabs Charity’s left hand with her own and entwines their fingers. Their rings click together and it makes Charity smile. “Fate. Me and you, us, the boys, this life we are going to lead. It was fate. It was meant to be.”

“If it’s meant to be it will be aye?” Charity says, quoting Vanessa’s current favourite song.

Vanessa laughs and draws Charity down for a kiss. “If it is meant to be it will be. I love you, Mrs Charity Dingle.”

“And I love you, Mrs Vanessa Dingle.”

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter :(  
> Thank you all so much for reading this.   
> Hope you all enjoyed it.   
> All of your comments and the kudos left have meant the world.


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